New to this and needs advice

[BabyDreamer26]

Hi, I am new to this whole message board thing. My husband and I have been ttc for almost 2 years with no luck. We've been through 5 IUI's and now my RE has me on metformin because she thinks I might have pcos. I'm confused because I thought that pcos meant that you couldn't ovulate on your own and I can. Anyways the only problem she found before this was my husbands count has been just a little low. She also discovered that I have a bicornuate uterus(heart shaped) which has a preterm labor and miscarriage rate of 30% because the baby only has half the space to grow. My heartbreak and concern is first trying to get pregnant and then if it happens having to worry about the risk of miscarriage. Our next step is IVF and my insurance only covers 1 cycle, my question is if the 1st cycle fails do we spend the money to go through more cycles even if were unsure I can carry the baby to full term or use the money and use a surrogate? I would appreciate any advice. My husband is the only one I can talk to about this whole thing because we haven't told anyone that were going through treatment, I'd really like to tell my mom, but it's so hard for me to talk about, I just can't seem to do it. Another question is when everyone doesn't know that you're going through treatment and keeps asking when are you having a baby how do you deal with that? This whole situation is so hard, it's a daily struggle to keep a positive attitude.

[godschild76]

I know what you are going through is tough. And to be doing it alone is very hard. I know you have your husband, but it does help to have outside people who know what your going through. If your like most of us on here, then you'll find that more on this board then you will in your circle of family and friends. Even as well meaning as they mean to be, they just don't have a concept of what it is like to go through IF and the hardships you face bc of it. So anytime you need support or have a question, please feel free to ask that of any of us here. That's not to say don't of your friends or family, bc you may find that there are one or two who are just what you need. I just want you to be prepared for the reality that most won't know what to say, or will just say the wrong things!

As far as the IVF thing goes, I can't answer that. I think that is a question only you and your husband can answer. It's a hard situation and one that you would get different answers for from everyone on here. But really it all boils down to you doing what's best and most comfortable for you!

And with the when are you going to have kids thing, let me just tell you this...... it doesn't matter if they know about your IF or not, bc you are always going to get that question! Always! It sucks, but it's very inevitable. Sometimes I deal with that ok, and jokingly say well we're doing our part, it's up to God for the rest. Other times I avoid answering and just think to myself "how do people ask such things in this day and age?" There are millions of us IF'er's out there and yet no one stops to realize there are reasons why some don't have kids and maybe it's none of my business! Sad, but fact of life!

Hope this helps you! If you ever need to talk, my email is godschild76@juno.com I think there is a board on here for pcos and you should check that out. I don't deal with that, I'm an endo IF'er. But I know a few with it and the struggles they face. There are some really great ladies on here with a ton of info for you. I think that you should do some research about this whole thing before you go taking metformin which is insulin! Find out if there are tests you can take to determine if this is in fact what you have. We have all known RE's to be wrong at times, or to jump the gun and assume at times. Don't be afraid to question it and get the tests you need to reassure yourself that all is well or not well with you!

Good luck and God bless, Lisa