Confessions... Everything mentioned

[AriRedEagle]

Hi Ladies,
I decided to start a thread for confessions similar to one on another forum, because I find it so freeing, but I'm now pregnant and don't think it's appropriate to complain in the IF group. I'll start with my confessions...

I confess I'm am scared about having twins even though that is exactly what I expected and wanted.

I confess I wish I had known ahead of time how many doctors visits and medical intervention I was going to have to put up with.

I confess I have doubts about whether or not we can really handle twins, but I put on a good show.

I confess I feel overwhelmed just being pregnant with twins and having two older girls, I can't imagine what it will be like when they are born!!!

I confess the last few mornings I have woken up and my first thought was "Oh God! I'm having twins!!!"

I confess I'm starting to realize the extent to which I will have to miss out on activities with my daughters and how sad that makes me.

I confess I'm doing my best not to freak out about how much money it will take for us to have a family of 4.

OK. I feel better now... I needed to vent my frustrations and fears. Overall, I am so happy and excited to be having twins and I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I just needed to relieve myself of those nagging anxiety ridden thoughts rumbling around my brain

Feel free to share your confessions! I'm sure we can relate...

[RheumyMommy]

AriRedEagle,

Me too! And we're right about the same progress, too. It has to be overwhelming to get exactly what you wanted, right (??), because a big part of you expects to continue the bad luck streak. Money is the scariest part, but we can learn to love watered-down soup, right? Yay for us and our fears!

[bebehope]

Ladies, I confess I never wished for twins and it has taken me a good long time to stop being freaked out that they are on their way! In fact, I still have my moments!!! I am so happy to be pg after the struggle of TTC, but this is not what I expected. I read Dr. Barbara Luke's book- which I recommend you check out - and she has a whole section on this. I felt so relieved that I wasn't the only woman out there who struggled to conceive, and then felt terrified about having twins. She compares the acceptance of learning you are having multiples to the stages of grief- shock, depression, fear, bargaining, acceptance. (not sure if those are the actual stages but they fit!).
I'm now 26 weeks pg with twin girls. I can't wait to meet them! (and I am still scared!)

[carolsue]

OK

I confess I am totally scared being pregnant with twins

I confess after I found out I was pregnant I wondered what the hell did I do even though I knew what I was doing (scared thoughts)

I confess I do not know how I will handle taking care of twins but know I will do it

I confess I do not know how we will manage financially even though there will be a way.

I confess I am scared that I won't be a good mother

I confess that even though I am scared that something will go wrong, that I am happy, excited, and blessed that this could happen for me and my DH.

[bebehope]

I like this thread!
I also must confess that:
I am afraid I won't be a good mother, and
I am jealous that our daughters will favor DH! How crazy is that?!

[Stargazerlilly]

AriRedEagle - Looks like we have the same or very close due dates.

I'm on my second set of twins, so my confessions might be a little different. Here goes:

I confess that even though I knew I could have twins again and I wanted them, I'm not happy about it.

I confess that I wish I had waited longer between pregnancies.

I confess that I'm freaking out about having toddler twins and newborn twins at the same time and a 4 year old to boot.

I confess that I'm annoyed that we need a new car now to fit 5 car seats.

I confess that I am freaked out about finding help with my other kids when I go on bed rest again and after the babies are born.

I confess that I am very concerned about money because we will probably have to hire help.

I confess that I am devastated that my in-laws are not supportive at all and have made it quite clear that they aren't interested in helping this time.

I confess that I'm really freaked that I won't be able to deliver vaginally again. I mean, what really are the chances of having 2 twin pregnancies go well, end well and be delivered vaginally.

I confess that I am sitting here crying now for the millionth time.

I confess that while I feel all these negative feelings and I'm not getting used to this, I am completely in love with my babies and I know everything will be fine. We did it once. We can do it again!!

Thanks for reading my crazy rantings.

[mishabear96]

Originally Posted by AriRedEagle

I decided to start a thread for confessions similar to one on another forum, because I find it so freeing, but I'm now pregnant and don't think it's appropriate to complain in the IF group.

Totally second that sentiment, AriRedEagle.

I confess that I went AWOL from the IF board that I was on while waiting for my s/r.

I confess that I had second thoughts after both my OB and peri made s/r (3 to 2) seem like a lifestyle choice and not a medical decision.

I confess once I got the numbers from the doc doing the s/r, decision was very clear (risk of loss of entire pregnancy or super early term birth 26% for triplets vs. 8% for twins).

I confess that I was less sad about the s/r when they told me all the CVS results were normal and all were girls - illogical, but they seemed less individual....

I confess that I was glad to see the article in the NY Times about people who refused to reduce higher order multiples and didn't get their happily ever afters on TLC. Maybe OB and peri won't be so flippant going forward.

[AriRedEagle]

stargazer - Yes, we are! Our little ones might come at the same time...

misha - It's so good to see you! I have wondered how you were doing

To all ladies - Thank you for sharing and being open! I hold you all in the highest esteem.
I think we all are scared at one point or another of not being good mommies. It seems to me the bad mommies are the ones who don't care enough to wonder whether or not the are doing a good job. It took me a long time to embrace I am a good mommy, but sometimes I still have doubts...

afm - I confess I am quite irritated right now that I had a post I spent a bit of time writing, and fertile thoughts kicked me off as I posted it, so now I have to write it again!

I don't want to rehash all my frustration again, so I will write again later. Take care everyone...

[AriRedEagle]

Ok, I'm back...

I confess I am tired of being tired and feeling overwhelmed by all the things I have to do, but can't keep up on.

I confess I wish I had a ton of money to pay people to clean my house, help my kids with their homework, run them around to their activities, cook healthy meals and keep track of my appointments so I can just relax and enjoy my pregnancy.

I confess I wonder if all those well-meaning people who say they will help when the babies are born actually will.

I confess I wonder if I will be able to handle various people in my house even though they are helping.

I confess I really want to cut out all people in my life who are causing me stress. I guess I can at least narrow it down to one.

I confess I am feeling very cranky and on the verge of crying today.

I confess I wish my husband would stop being cranky and hard on my kids. As much as he's helping, he's also creating more stress emotionally.

I confess I am frustrated by all the differing opinions about what I should do regarding: H1N1 vaccine, birthing, what to eat, how to eat, how much to exercise, etc...

I confess I got snippy yesterday with someone trying to tell me how to care for my daughter's sprained ankle simply because I am SICK of people trying to tell me what to do when I know what to do thank you very much!

[Coco_and_Toad]

Thank goodness I am hearing others are feeling the way I am feeling!
I am expecting triplets and

I confess that I am overwhelmed to say the least.

I confess that I do regret putting 3 embyros back. If I could go back, I'd only do 2. (We did 3 with our first IVF so we kept with the 3 number.)

I confess that I am already feeling guilty and sad for my youngest son. He seems to still be a baby in my eyes. It's going to be a big awakening for him when the triplets come.

I confess that I worry about the risk I am putting myself health-wise by having triplets. I need to be here for my other two boys.

I confess that I'm scared of having special needs children.

I confess that I did get the H1N1 and now reading what others have to say I am stressing about "what if" I did damage to my babies.

I confess that I have yet to be excited about this pregnancy. Having more then 1 has taken away the excitement and filled me with stress and worry.

I confess I have more thoughts going through my head but I'll stop now.