Miscarried 11w 4d

[Little fluff]

I don't even know what I want to write I just know that right now I'm hurting like crazy and so sad.

After 14 years of TTC we finally got our BFP on IVF #7. Everything was going well. We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks, at 10 weeks 5 days we again saw the heart beat, baby was measuring right on target and was even moving it's tiny arm. At 11 weeks 4 days I had some brown spotting, no pain at all so the obs office wasn't alarmed. We did have an u/s scheduled at 1pm and were given the devastating news that our baby had no heartbeat and had in fact been dead for several days as it had shrunk back in size to around 6 weeks 3 days. 2 days later I had a D&C. Today a further 2 days later it is really sinking in, our baby is gone, I'm just so sad.

[HolmesHX2]

I am sooooo sorry I dont even know what to say. I hope somewhere at some time you can find some comfort and go through healing and go on to have a happy healthy pregnancy complete with a tiny baby in your arms at the end but for now allow yourself to grieve as you need

[Dr. Pam]

My heart goes out to you for your terrible loss. Just at the point that you think and feel that you will finally get baby in your arms. Take the time you need to fully grieve and mourn your loss. I sincerely hope that 2010 will bring you what your heart truly desires.
Pam

[BC-Shelli]

My heart just breaks for you...I am so very sorry. How unfair!! Please take the time to grieve before you even began sorting thru your thoughts... It's been a very long journey for you and obviously you have some tough decisions ahead.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. ((Hug))

[Kaj]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

[TTCyears]

I am so sorry. I am thinking of your little one.

Situations like ours are just coming into the cultural consciousness. They are just beginning to write books about it. I recently read this one. I hope you (or the copywrites) don't mind me sharing a few quotes I kept for myself...

Miscarriage After Infertility, by Margaret Comerford Freda, RN and Carrie F. Semelsberger, RN

Page 1: (an understatement) "…life is not fair."

Other quotes:

"Some books suggested that looking forward to another pregnancy could help you resolve your feelings about the miscarriage. But I knew I might never have another pregnancy."

"Although I wanted to get beyond the miscarriage, thinking about it was a way to reassure myself that I really had been pregnant."

"Don’t be afraid to cry, be angry, punch a pillow, scream, and yell. Do whatever you need to do to start feeling better."

Those are a few of the ones that spoke to me. I hope you find support that speaks and cares for you.

Hugs in this very difficult time,
~Sharon

[BC-CrystalAZ]

OMG. I am SOOOO sorry. I have been watching you behind the scenes since I teased you about your user name such a long time ago.

I am so very sorry.

There are no words that express the sadness I feel at this news. I so wish you didn't have to go through this.



Crystal

[smiles06]

Little Fluff- I am so sorry. I know you have had a long and hard journey, and this just isn't fair.

[Little fluff]

Thankyou for all of the heartfelt responses, it is comforting to know others get your grief. My RL support has been phenomonal thankfully but sadly it doesn't seem to make it easier.

Today was extremely hard as I took my cousin through the new house that we are building...the one with 4 bedrooms, the one that we had picked out which room was to be the nursery.

We will get through this 1 day at a time with each other just as we have gotten through 14 years of treatment.

Once again thankyou, the heartfelt compassion on these boards astounds me.

Crystal we might just let everyone know where I got my user name and thanks for following my journey. My DH has this thing with my hair where he strokes it and calls me his little fluff nence the user name

[nelly07]

I am so so sorry for your loss... my heart is just breaking for you. I am going through a miscarriage right now as well and I know how extremely painful it is. You have been through so much and I admire you for staying so strong... I hope you can find even a little bit of peace right now. Hugs