New to this board.....

[Charmian]

.....and scared to death! Some of you may know me from the loss of an infant/child board as unfortunatley I have been a long time member there

I don't have the energy to type my whole history, but the short version is: somewhere around 9 years of IF heartache, tons of cycles with clomid, one bfp in September 2003 which ended on February 9, 2004 with the birth and subsequent death of my only child Joshua....

All of you can imagine my surprise when on Wednesday December 3 I took a hpt and got a bfp. I immediately took another and bfp again. Called the ob and went in for bloodwork. First beta on Dec 3 was very low at 31.1 and progesterone was low also. Started prog supplements asap and went for more blood work Dec 5. Beta almost tripled at 91! I am in complete and utter shock! and needless to say am scared to death and feel like I am almost jinxing myself by posting here! This pg was unplanned and natural!! I just can't believe it is happening. I am not quite 5 weeks yet, so still very early. I jump at every twinge and expect to see blood every time I go pee.....I am trying to stay positive but that cynical side keeps popping up!

I am just looking for some support and ++ thoughts from people who understand. We haven't shared the news with ppl in rl yet and plan on waiting awhile before we do!

I go for an early pg u/s on December 17 where I will be just over 6 weeks....

Sorry for the rambling post and thanks for reading!

[BC-MiracleTwins]

Charmian,

**Hugs to you and so sorry for your loss** Congradulationson your new pregnancy. I hope and pray this lil bean makes it a happy and healthy 9months. Welcome to this board. I do hope youfind the support you need. Post as often as you like.. even if its just to get stress or anything off of your mind.

May this lil bean make it to the full 9months and be born healthy into Mommy and Daddy's aching hearts for a new Life to begin.

your BC,
Tasha

[MareRI]

Congrats!!! I know the anxiety you are feeling. We didnt tell anyone about our last pg for quite awhile (family found out at about 14w and friends etc not until after level 2 u/s at 21w or so)...we were even afraid to tell our ds's as they know about Isabella and remember her loss.

I made a concerted effort through the pg to enjoy every single day and not to let my worry get the best of me. My biggest regret with ISabella is that I didnt enjoy a day of her pg bec of my prior losses. I didnt want that this time. I knew that no matter what I did, if it was meant that I had another angel I couldnt change that, I could just enjoy her while I had her with me...and I did. My pg felt like the longest ever, but I really did enjoy it, and didnt let anything change that.

I wish you all the best for a healthy happy and peaceful 9 months...

[BC-monarchbutterfly]

omgoodness i am so so thrilled for you!!! i know all to well the anxiousness you are feeling right now...like you are on a sword edge teetering between sheet utter exhilaration and the sheer fright of not only what happened happening again but knowing all of the other ways things can go wrong. i often say they should stick pg loss moms in a nice padded room with 24 hr access to an u/s machine as soon as they get a bp, that way we can be as neurotic as we want for our entire pg. my best advice to you is to take one day, one moment at a time and as mare already said, you need to try to enjoy this pg as much as possible, although i know that it is easier said than done.
know that those who have walked the path before you are here to hold your hand, and know that whatever you are feeling, one of us has most likely felt it or experienced it before.
sending you gentle s

[BC-NanceLee]

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A thousand prayers and hopes, my friend. Ten thousand.

((hugs))

NL

[Charmian]

Thanks everyone...i really appreciate your support. I am 5 weeks today so still so early, but am feeling more positive with each passing day. I go for an early pg u/s on the 17th and will update more after that.....

[kathrynlee]

CONGRATS!! That is wonderful! I hope time flies by.
HUGS,
Kathryn