How do I motivate my DH???

[happyhiker]

I need a little advise on how to get my DH to start our nursery??

I will be 31 weeks Tuesday and we have not one thing started in the nursery. It use to be the weight room. He did a few weeks ago move all the weights out but that is it. I have a crib, changing table in the garage waiting to be assembled. I had a baby shower yesterday and it is sitting here i the living room with mo place to go.
I'd like for him to paint and replace the carpet. I was hoping to get this done by july so I can enjoy it before baby comes.

I know he was probably a little apprehensive becasue he was too afraid something might happen but I have been reasurred by the Peri all looks well and she feels confident we will make it this time.

I said something about this last month and it almost started a fight. What do I do???

Any advise would greatly help!

Trish

[herbie1]

Trish... I ended up doing alot of my nursery myself, but I'm an impatient something when it comes to things like that.

All I can think of is to just talk to him. Find out why he doesn't want to get the nursery put together (I know how dumb that must sound...). Let him know how sure you are that things will work out this time and that bottom line, the room needs to be done before the baby gets here.

Is there anyone, friends or family, that could help you out with that? My aunt painted, my sister cleaned the carpet, is that an option? Did you have anything done in the nursery before your loss, could that be part of why he doesn't want to get moving with it?

I'm sorry I don't have any more suggestions, I find that communication is so key when it comes to a loss. Many, many s

[happyhiker]

Herbie1,

Thanks for the input. I talked to my DH last night. He is too funny. He told me he works better under pressure. But promised he would get started this weekend.
I have had so many offers from my sisters and BIL but my DH said this is something he wants to get done for her (baby).

Our twins pasted so early 22 weeks we never had a chance get get the nursery together.

Thanks for the advise. It wasn't silly at all. I am on bedrest so when he is home and not at work I am constantly asking for this and that. So I guess I don't want to come across as a nag. He was ok with it and was very open to my concerns.
Hopefully he will keep his word which I'm sure he will.

Take Care and thanks again,
Trish

[Mama Jo]

Sorry to be late,

I understand being at home and wanting stuff done, but being stuck on bed rest and not being able to do it. It can be maddening. I am glad that your DH said he would get going on the nursery so soon (was it last weekend or this coming?).

I have found it can be frightening for some people to do concrete things to prepare for a baby after a loss. At least, that is how it is for my DH and me. Recently I told my DH that I was going to ask my father (who was traveling in Europe) to buy a going home outfit for our son from a special store in Europe. Although I was nervous, I wanted to because it made it feel real. When I told my DH, he flipped out. It just scared him too much, so I did not ask my father after all. Who needs cool European style at three days old anyway?!

We do not have room for a nursery in our house, but I would love to get to set up all of the baby furniture because then it would seem like I am really going to get to bring my son home. (And the funny part about that is that even when we had room for a nursery, we set it up and my first DD never spent one night in it - we co-sleep - but still having a nursery all set up is a mommy dream!)

Happy Hopes
Jo

[hedgehog]

Originally Posted by happyhiker

He told me he works better under pressure.

LOL.... With my first DS, DH was putting the dresser together while I was in the hospital recovering (talk about pressure). It was our choice though. My mum insisted that we should not have anything done before the arrival (cultural issues, I think), and since she was coming to help, I did not want to deal with her on this subject. Plus I was paranoid too.

We were planning to do this with K.J. as well... With DD though I had an intense desire to get the nursery done before hand, sort like a big "phrtttt" to the universe LOL.

Good luck with yours. I bet it is going to turn out beautiful (you are welcome to borrow the "indiana jones whip" DS made if you need motivation for DH )