Anyone have difficulty dealing with emotions after getting BFP after infertility?

DrAndrea · 08-11-2009, 04:31 PM

So I have been going through infertility for over a year. Two failed IUIs, one failed IVF, one surgery, and lots of aggravation. Anyway, I just got a BFP on this second cycle of IVF. Today I heard the heartbeat! We were told from the beginning that my DH's translocation makes delivering a baby more difficult. They felt that as long as we saw the heartbeat that we would be good to go! Today should have been the end of this infertility misery. Though we are having a CVS done at 12 weeks to ensure that everything is ok.

While I just saw the heartbeat about 30 minutes ago, I feel so weird about it. It is like my brain or body can't fully be excited because I am worried to get my hopes up. I didn't particularly feel connected to what I saw on the screen. Did anyone else experience this type of reaction after getting a BFP after IVF? When did you feel like you could connect with being pregnant? It feels so surreal. Why don't I feel excited like I thought I would?

MGUERRERO81 · 08-13-2009, 07:48 AM

DrAndra,
Im currently 30 weeks pregnant with twin girls. We have been trying for 6 years to get pregnant thru Clomid, 5 IUI's, 1 Failed IVF, and now a FET that finally worked like magic. It has been a long very emotional road that I'm excited to be done with finally. I find my self still not attached to the girls like I was with my first natural child at age 20. I know i will be head over heals the min I see them...but I think inside im so scaird to accept them as the loss would be to much to handle. I also find myself feeling guilty for wanting to love them so much...as all my love always belonged to my son. He's been my only pride and joy for so long. I'v bonded with them more as my tummy grows. Just give it some time. I'm positive the min they are here...all this will be gone.

Tess914 · 08-14-2009, 02:21 AM

For me, I think I always set myself up for the possibility of failure and when it finally happens, it's like I was too scared to let myself feel happy. It's always something to worry about. Even now, at almost 31 weeks with twins, I sometimes feel it is not real. I guess dealing with so much hurt and loss (I felt loss just not becoming pregnant), you tend to get used to that more than the innocence of just being pregnant...we are all too knowlegable for sure! Good luck and congrats

08-11-2009, 04:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
DrAndrea 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: May 2009 Location: NY Posts: 37	Anyone have difficulty dealing with emotions after getting BFP after infertility? So I have been going through infertility for over a year. Two failed IUIs, one failed IVF, one surgery, and lots of aggravation. Anyway, I just got a BFP on this second cycle of IVF. Today I heard the heartbeat! We were told from the beginning that my DH's translocation makes delivering a baby more difficult. They felt that as long as we saw the heartbeat that we would be good to go! Today should have been the end of this infertility misery. Though we are having a CVS done at 12 weeks to ensure that everything is ok. While I just saw the heartbeat about 30 minutes ago, I feel so weird about it. It is like my brain or body can't fully be excited because I am worried to get my hopes up. I didn't particularly feel connected to what I saw on the screen. Did anyone else experience this type of reaction after getting a BFP after IVF? When did you feel like you could connect with being pregnant? It feels so surreal. Why don't I feel excited like I thought I would? __________________ Me: 31 (NK cells, MFTHR defect, blood clotting issues) DH: 38 (translocation on 1 and 16; borderline DNA fragmentation) 7/30/09 BFP on HPT!!!! (transferred 4 expanding blasts) 7/31/09 (7dp5dt) beta is 38!!!! 8/3/09 (10dp5dt) beta is 205!!!

08-14-2009, 02:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
Tess914 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 2,339	For me, I think I always set myself up for the possibility of failure and when it finally happens, it's like I was too scared to let myself feel happy. It's always something to worry about. Even now, at almost 31 weeks with twins, I sometimes feel it is not real. I guess dealing with so much hurt and loss (I felt loss just not becoming pregnant), you tend to get used to that more than the innocence of just being pregnant...we are all too knowlegable for sure! Good luck and congrats __________________ TESS Me/DH 38 3 IUI's BFN IVF#1 BFP Beta#1 6/23 135, Beta Hell: #2 6/27 203, Beta#3 6/29 270-RE said prob nonviable, Beta #4 7/3 819! US 7/12 = IVF#2 6/08, IVF#3 9/08, IUI#4 11/08 - BFN IVF#4 1/09 BFP! 1st Beta 282, 2nd 597! It's B/G TWINS! [/B][/I]!

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08-13-2009, 07:48 AM	#2 (permalink)
MGUERRERO81 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Katy, Texas (Houston) Posts: 154	DrAndra, Im currently 30 weeks pregnant with twin girls. We have been trying for 6 years to get pregnant thru Clomid, 5 IUI's, 1 Failed IVF, and now a FET that finally worked like magic. It has been a long very emotional road that I'm excited to be done with finally. I find my self still not attached to the girls like I was with my first natural child at age 20. I know i will be head over heals the min I see them...but I think inside im so scaird to accept them as the loss would be to much to handle. I also find myself feeling guilty for wanting to love them so much...as all my love always belonged to my son. He's been my only pride and joy for so long. I'v bonded with them more as my tummy grows. Just give it some time. I'm positive the min they are here...all this will be gone.