why can't I relax???

nelly07 · 04-24-2008, 05:26 PM

hi everyone-

I moved over here about a week ago from the IF boards... I finally got a BFP after 5 DIUI cycles (and 10 months of setbacks & craziness). Anyway, my DP and I are thrilled!!! I am about 5 weeks today. I've had 2 betas and am scheduled for a 3rd tomorrow. The problem is, I can't seem to relax and truly enjoy it because I'm so worried about something going wrong!!! I just want to celebrate this time in my life and instead I feel like all I'm doing is worrying... we've told some close friends and family that I'm pregnant, and yet it almost doesn't even feel "real" to me. I wanted this SO badly, and now that it's finally happened I feel like I'm almost just emotionally shut down about it. I think I just have such a fear of something happening that it's affecting everything else....

Is something wrong with me?? Has anyone else ever felt this way???

linden · 04-25-2008, 05:36 AM

Hi nelly07---I remember you from the IUI boards! I'm so happy and excited for you! I'm going to share my very limited experience--both the good and the bad to give you a balanced perspective. I got pregnant in Feb. through a medicated IUI cycle. This was my first pregnancy after many years of TTC. I was a nervous wreck the entire time and did not enjoy a single minute of it b/c I was so anxious and waiting for something to go wrong. I did have a miscarriage last week, and I completely regret not putting more effort into relaxing and enjoying the 9 weeks that I was pregnant, and celebrating the fact that I actually got pregnant for the first time ever.

I guess my point is that I wish I had been able to enjoy the time that I was pregnant, and I kind of feel like I ruined it by being stressed out all the time about all the things that could go wrong. I'm going to start seeing a therapist to learn how to deal with my infertility and pregnancy-related anxiety so that if I am every lucky enough to get pregnant again, I can just relax and enjoy it for however long it lasts.

I hope everything goes smoothly for you and can't wait to read your updates!

try4#2 · 04-25-2008, 06:29 AM

nelly- I think this is very normal, especially when you have gone through so much to get to this point. It is almost like we can't believe that something good is happening. It is funny because, for me, I feel a huge sense of relief after every beta or every u/s, and then I start to stress out as the next appt approaches. I agree with what the other ladies said...just try your hardest to relax and enjoy this experience. You have a baby growing inside you!

What is more special and beautiful than that?

Good luck to you!

jeppy · 04-25-2008, 05:14 PM

Nelly - I'm in the same boat! I'm almost 9 weeks and we are so scared and excited everyday. Sometimes we don't even talk about it cause it brings up all these worres! We've had losses in the past and many many years of trying - so it is normal from what I hear to feel this way. I'm hoping that I will relax some after the 12wk u/s.....and even after that I'm sure I will continue to worry about the health of the baby...

My mom said it never ends...even to this day she worries about me

I think it is part of parenting - guess we should get used to it hun!

Best of wishes and are pregnancies are pretty close so I'm sure we will be chatting it up over the next 7-8 months!

nelly07 · 04-26-2008, 07:26 PM

Thanks for the replies everyone- it's nice to know that I'm not alone in all my feelings. I am trying my hardest to be positive, and to take it one day at a time....

linden- I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I remember you as well from the IUI boards, and my heart truly goes out to you. I hope that you are able to grieve this loss and move on to your next cycle with renewed hope. I pray that things work out for you very soon.

try4#2- I completely agree with you about the sense of relief after every beta (which is all I've had so far) and the stress/anxiety as the next appt approaches... it's like I start to think something has "gone wrong" between tests. I've only had 3 betas so far- I'm hoping I will learn to relax more when it's time for ultrasounds, etc.

jeppy- sounds like we are very close in our pregnancies! Hopefully we can be a source of support for each other over the next several months (and help each other to enjoy this time and stop worrying). I wish you all the best for a happy & healthy pregnancy, and I'm sure I'll be talking to you again soon!

My latest update was on Friday- my 3rd beta was 1004.

15 dpiui beta- 67
19 dpiui beta- 263
22 dpiui beta- 1004

I don't know much about all of these #'s but hopefully they are good! Thanks for the support everyone!

nelly07 · 05-01-2008, 07:48 PM

Hi there

I'm posting about my 4th and last beta results.....

15 dpiui- beta 67
19 dpiui- beta 263
22 dpiui- beta 1004
Today (28 dpiui)- beta 4307

My drs office seemed pleased with this # and said that everything seems to be right on track.... they said they don't see the need for any more beta checks, we will just wait for the u/s.

Of course I do believe them, but these beta #'s really confuse me! Doesn't it seem like it should have risen more in the 6 days when it went from 1004 to 4307? Or maybe it starts slowing down a little at this point? I don't know why I question everything- I drive myself crazy!

04-24-2008, 05:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
nelly07 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Western Massachusetts, USA Posts: 500	why can't I relax??? hi everyone- I moved over here about a week ago from the IF boards... I finally got a BFP after 5 DIUI cycles (and 10 months of setbacks & craziness). Anyway, my DP and I are thrilled!!! I am about 5 weeks today. I've had 2 betas and am scheduled for a 3rd tomorrow. The problem is, I can't seem to relax and truly enjoy it because I'm so worried about something going wrong!!! I just want to celebrate this time in my life and instead I feel like all I'm doing is worrying... we've told some close friends and family that I'm pregnant, and yet it almost doesn't even feel "real" to me. I wanted this SO badly, and now that it's finally happened I feel like I'm almost just emotionally shut down about it. I think I just have such a fear of something happening that it's affecting everything else.... Is something wrong with me?? Has anyone else ever felt this way???

04-25-2008, 05:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
jeppy 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Alaska Posts: 2,990	Nelly - I'm in the same boat! I'm almost 9 weeks and we are so scared and excited everyday. Sometimes we don't even talk about it cause it brings up all these worres! We've had losses in the past and many many years of trying - so it is normal from what I hear to feel this way. I'm hoping that I will relax some after the 12wk u/s.....and even after that I'm sure I will continue to worry about the health of the baby... My mom said it never ends...even to this day she worries about me I think it is part of parenting - guess we should get used to it hun! Best of wishes and are pregnancies are pretty close so I'm sure we will be chatting it up over the next 7-8 months! __________________ Me (28) DH (33) dx: Mild Endo TTC for 4.5 years 2 IVFs -BFN / 2 FETs (1 ectopic) BFP Natural!!! Logan Elliott Born 11/17/08 If Things Never Changed - There Would Never Be Butterflies!

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog


Discussion Forums Infertility Pregnancy Adoption Surrogacy Parenting Community Forum Tickers Forum Avatars Chat Room Forum Acronyms Forum FAQ _________________ Log In Register Blogs Infertility GENERAL INFORMATION Blocked Tubes (Sponsor) Counseling and Support Emotional Aspects Find the best fertility care General Procedures Infertility Myths & Facts Sperm Injection Intrauterine Adhesions Introduction to IVF Book: How to Have a Baby IVF Cost In Vitro Fertilization Infertility Risk Factors Infertility Treatments Male Factor Medications Older Female Patients Ovarian Hyperstimulation Peak Fertility Calculator Weight and Fertility Adoption ADOPTION INFOMATION Adoption Glossary Consent to Adoption Guide to Adoption Stepparent Adoption Rights of Presumed Fathers Who may Adopt Pregnancy PREGNANCY INFORMATION Baby Names Cord Blood Screening for Birth Defects Multiple Pregnancy Pregnancy Exercise Videos Pregnancy Pains Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Parenting PARENTING TIPS Child Glossary Child Safety Education Newborn Development Preschool Development Special Needs Children Toddler Development

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

04-25-2008, 05:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
linden 800-899 post 10 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Summit, NJ Posts: 871	Hi nelly07---I remember you from the IUI boards! I'm so happy and excited for you! I'm going to share my very limited experience--both the good and the bad to give you a balanced perspective. I got pregnant in Feb. through a medicated IUI cycle. This was my first pregnancy after many years of TTC. I was a nervous wreck the entire time and did not enjoy a single minute of it b/c I was so anxious and waiting for something to go wrong. I did have a miscarriage last week, and I completely regret not putting more effort into relaxing and enjoying the 9 weeks that I was pregnant, and celebrating the fact that I actually got pregnant for the first time ever. I guess my point is that I wish I had been able to enjoy the time that I was pregnant, and I kind of feel like I ruined it by being stressed out all the time about all the things that could go wrong. I'm going to start seeing a therapist to learn how to deal with my infertility and pregnancy-related anxiety so that if I am every lucky enough to get pregnant again, I can just relax and enjoy it for however long it lasts. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and can't wait to read your updates!

04-25-2008, 06:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
try4#2 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 278	nelly- I think this is very normal, especially when you have gone through so much to get to this point. It is almost like we can't believe that something good is happening. It is funny because, for me, I feel a huge sense of relief after every beta or every u/s, and then I start to stress out as the next appt approaches. I agree with what the other ladies said...just try your hardest to relax and enjoy this experience. You have a baby growing inside you! What is more special and beautiful than that? Good luck to you!

04-26-2008, 07:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
nelly07 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Western Massachusetts, USA Posts: 500	Thanks for the replies everyone- it's nice to know that I'm not alone in all my feelings. I am trying my hardest to be positive, and to take it one day at a time.... linden- I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I remember you as well from the IUI boards, and my heart truly goes out to you. I hope that you are able to grieve this loss and move on to your next cycle with renewed hope. I pray that things work out for you very soon. try4#2- I completely agree with you about the sense of relief after every beta (which is all I've had so far) and the stress/anxiety as the next appt approaches... it's like I start to think something has "gone wrong" between tests. I've only had 3 betas so far- I'm hoping I will learn to relax more when it's time for ultrasounds, etc. jeppy- sounds like we are very close in our pregnancies! Hopefully we can be a source of support for each other over the next several months (and help each other to enjoy this time and stop worrying). I wish you all the best for a happy & healthy pregnancy, and I'm sure I'll be talking to you again soon! My latest update was on Friday- my 3rd beta was 1004. 15 dpiui beta- 67 19 dpiui beta- 263 22 dpiui beta- 1004 I don't know much about all of these #'s but hopefully they are good! Thanks for the support everyone!

05-01-2008, 07:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
nelly07 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Western Massachusetts, USA Posts: 500	Hi there I'm posting about my 4th and last beta results..... 15 dpiui- beta 67 19 dpiui- beta 263 22 dpiui- beta 1004 Today (28 dpiui)- beta 4307 My drs office seemed pleased with this # and said that everything seems to be right on track.... they said they don't see the need for any more beta checks, we will just wait for the u/s. Of course I do believe them, but these beta #'s really confuse me! Doesn't it seem like it should have risen more in the 6 days when it went from 1004 to 4307? Or maybe it starts slowing down a little at this point? I don't know why I question everything- I drive myself crazy!