Talk me down from the ledge please.....

[JennF]

Extreme panic is setting in.

I'm about to start a new chapter in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to handle it.

Moving day is May 15th. We are moving to a much smaller home than what we had. Very little closet ....... Small kitchen, small bedrooms. I'm trying to be strong and suck it up. But I'm upset. I will probably go without my own vehicle for at least the summer just to save some money. I knew it was going to be hard enough moving away from my parents but all this is just too much. I want to stay home with my kids for me that is more important than a car right now. Its just that my life has done a 180 and I loved the life I had. I had a nice house (with lots of closets ), a vehicle to come and go as I wanted, my parents only two minutes away with Mom popping in almost every day. I'm trying hard not to be upset with DH because he moved us here but its hard. I am trying to stay positive ( my new mantra.....it could be worse) but..............

I'm sorry ladies, I had to get that off my chest. I'm having a bad day.

[LostAngel212]

(((hugs)))

[LindaG]

Oh Jen, all your feelings, worries and concerns are totally valid. I'd feel just the same, the last 6 months have been such a change for you all, dh too. It's OK to mourn your old life, I'm sure things will seem much better when you move in. Maybe now you have your own place your parents can come for a long visit, they won't care about a smaller bedroom!
Lets look on the bright side:
you will be out of the in laws place
smaller house, less to clean(more time on FT)
no car for a while, you will get nice and fit walking!
dh home to help with the kids

Keep smiling Jen.
Hugs.

[dmbucky7]

I'm so sorry you're having a bad day...HUGS!!! It is very hard to move to another place so far away and it's even harder when you're leaving something you want so badly (family and a beautiful home). When Dh got his new job and moved us, I knew it was what was best, but I was mad about it too...I didn't want to leave my family, especially after having twins just months before and we moved to a place that I did not care for. With so many changes, although the money was better than we had, we still struggle and were not able to get the house we had planned...much more expensive here and we just can't afford anything bigger/better... I dont want to be mad but there are days that I look around and wish we wouldn't have bought this house...and I dont want to feel that way! If you wanna let loose, please feel free to email or PM me. Sending many HUGS and possitive thoughts for you! HUGS!!

[Blondie8]

I'm sorry you're feeling crummy and like Linda said, it is oh so understandable that you're feeling like this.

Change is always hard, especially if it might feel like you're making a sideways change or even step backwards at this point. I say wallow in it for a bit, don't give yourself a hard time, it's perfectly natural and you shouldn't feel badly about the changes you guys are going through.

Moving to the west coast and the attendant ridiculous price of houses and cost of living is a huge leap for anyone, I don't know anyone who has made a move similar to yours and not have to trade some things off in the exchange. I bet once you get settled in, finally have some space of your own and get to know the great neighborhood you've described, you'll feel better.

For me, I know we've talked about the options DH and I are facing and the only thing that's made me feel better is thinking about things as short-term. As in, if we do Plan A for 3-5 years, DH gets this good work experience, makes some $ then we can go and do what we really want (to relocate and be closer to family, etc.) If I thought about it in terms of "forever", instead of short-term sacrifice for our family's sake to get where we really want to be, I'd pop my clogs, not a good idea at this point!

[JennF]

See.....I knew there was a reason I came here. I hate venting but so needed to and you guys always put things into perspective for me. It also helps to know that others have gone through (Diane) or are going through (Sinead) very similar circumstaces and are doing OK. It is hard doing a bit of a backward slide in lifestyle. Silly and materialistic of me I know, and I hate myself for it but it is still hard. I also know that in the grand scheme of life, what we are going through is not that bad. Thanks Linda for putting into perspective and Dee for giving me the idea to think of it in short bursts. Very helpful.

So thank you ladies. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for being the wonderful women that you are and thank you for being true friends

[TamiK]

Huge huge Jenn. The ladies said it best. It's tough changing your lifestyle, and even tougher leaving the ones you love, but remember you are surrounded by the most important people in your life, your DH & your kids, and your Mom & Dad is just a phone call away. It's not the same I know, I've been away for 10 years and especially now I wish we still lived there, but I talk to Mom every day, usually several times a day.

Hang in there...we are here for us when you need us! anytime!

[Emma2]

Jenn

I can relate to your post in many ways. Such a big move is upsetting enough but add in that you are having to sacrifice even more is very hard. You have moved away from your parents and from your 'HOME' in order to support and be with your DH. I know first handright now how hard it is to move especially with babies.

I moved away from my home and country to move with DH. We moved all over the world and I always missed home, my family and friends. We moved to the US finally and we moved to Tennessee. There we had a wonderful lifestyle, I made some great friends. I had a gorgeous home. We set up our lives there for our children. When I was 9 weeks pregnant with Amy we moved to CT. We struggled to find a home there for less than $500k..... I didn't make many friends (apart from a few pseudo friends) and I hated living there. we struggled financially, I struggled emotionally. You know we just moved to our new state and I am really enjoying it here right now. But I just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel and how lonely it is.

I do not mean to turn this about me or to take anything away from how you are feeling. I just want you to know if you ever need to talk. I am here for you. I am in a similar situation to you as far as the move but I have been where you are right now. HUGS my dear friend. Please PM or email me if you need to talk!

[BabyDana]

Oh Jenn. It was bound to happen. You are a wonderful person and the panic that comes with moving and all new changes does finally hit. You will be fine, You will find new ways to get around (until you do get your own car).
Many of us have had to make changes just like you so you can always come to us when you need to talk or vent. You will make it work and now you can take vacations to see your family and your Parents can come and see your new home. We are here for you.

[Mommy2APrincess]

Jen I can't say anthing any more eloquently than everyone already has! Just wanted to offer up some positive thoughts that things get easier for you and lots and lots of !