Does anyone's child not follow the "norm"?

[Jneidha]

Lily does not and has not ever followed her peers. She has a very vivid imagination and tells all kinds of stories and tales. She does not really play with anyone at school. Her teacher came to me yesterday concerned that she doesn't play with anyone and that she is really immersed in her imaginative play. She actually brought up scizophrenia? and that she thought Lily doesn't distinguish between fantasy and reality. Which I know isn't true because she tells me all the time if something is real or not. She even said that I should contact her ped about it.

I just don't understand why her teachers (this is the second one) thinks that she is not "normal" because she is very independent. I do admit that she has focus issues but it is only with schoolwork and not with stuff that interests her. She just doesn't like to do it and if she has her mind set against it then she won't do it.

So the teacher freaked me out and I looked online and there is not one thing on the net that even suggests that Lily is not normal. Just because her classmates finish a sheet of paper in 5 minutes and Lily doesn't want to do it and it takes her an hour, I guess that makes her not normal. And if Lily doesn't want to play with the other kids than that makes her skizophrenic. Why can't my little girl just be herself and not have a "label" put on her because she is not like all of the other little kids?

[Scout]

Oh that is terrible. Why would a teacher, who clearly has no medical information, say something like that to a parent? A vivid imagination is a wonderful thing at this age. Aren't kids supposed to have imaginary friends, etc?

That sounds like a very far off diagnosis. Talk to your ped if you are concerned socially, but that sounds like a crazy label.

Also, to let you know, at my DD's school there are no worksheets at age 4 at all. They don't think that age children are ready to sit down and do any "work" at this point. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing--I just want you to know that there are many professional opinions that would say that not doing a sheet at this age is more than appropriate.

Hang in there. Don't sweat it.

Scout

[Robbie]

That sure was a "shocking" thing to hear! I think she's perfectly normal!

[SusanL]

Jenny! Gosh, I think it's awful that her teacher actually said that to you- she's hardly qualified to suggest that Lily has schizophrenia. It doesn't sound to me like she has anything wrong with her- some kids are more independent than others and don't like to play with other kids. It sounds like she has a great imagination- that's awesome. I'm sorry her teacher put these thoughts in your mind. Oh, Connor tends to do his own thing too- he often seems off in his own little world. I've had many moments where I've worried about him, but I try to just remind myself that he's normal and this is just his personality.

[VMG]

Jenny. How dare the teacher bring up something like schizophrenia - she is NOT qualified to say something like that! I was a very independent child (I didn't "do" circle time for months, for example, did my own shopping even in 1st grade, etc. ) and even if I say so myself, I think I turned out relatively normal.
As to the papers, well, you could forget that at our house. It takes us days to finish our 2-3 pages of monthly homework, and I know the others are pretty similar. All the kids think it's sooooo boring.

I would probably go ahead and make an appointment with the pedi. Just so you can get professional input and let the teacher know that you have spoken to someone who is actually qualified... (and calm your mind).

Our preschool handed out a sheet with trivia about famous people, all of whom were told they were not fitting in one way or another. It's very inspiring. I will look for it later, can't find it right now.

There might be many simple reasons why Lily prefers to play by herself or doesn't finish her home work as quickly as others. And "not liking it" sounds like a good reason to me for a 5 year old!

Hang in there (and I would probably be checking out other schools...)
Hugs,
Verena

[VMG]

Oh, and I forgot to add - she might go on to be a famous writer... I always admire some people's imagination!

Verena

[AmandaG]

Ignore that teacher. I can't believe she'd say that a NORMAL child with an active imagination is possibly "schizophrenic"!! That's just terrible. Why should she care if Lily takes longer than her peers (in preschool!) to finish a worksheet? Its PRESCHOOL, for heaven's sake!! I'm sorry the teacher stressed you out like that.

[Mrs.H]

I'm sure Lily is normal. Teachers do see lots and lots of kids and can easily pick someone out who is behaving in a way they see as different. It can put up a warning flag for them. Remember, preschool is mostly about learning social skills (listening, interacting, following directions, etc.). If Lily isn't doing those things, then the teachers may be concerned about her success in kindergarten. I think I'd sit down with the teacher and really have her express her concerns in detail.

[jlquilts]

I can't believe that a teacher(what exactly is this person's educational background? I know that not all the girls "teachers" at pre-K are degreed)would say that to a parent. I also have a child who immerses herself in imaginative play. I sometimes worry some but I've never thought that she was schizophrenic!!

jeanne

[flagirl]

Oh my gosh I would be livid with that teacher. Having a vivid imagination does not make her schizophrenic - that is a horrible thing for her to suggest. She is no medical professional. I think a child having a great imagination and being independant is a good thing. She will make friends -she sounds like she just doesn't need to to have fun. What is wrong with that? What a rude teacher. I am so sorry!