School dances are going to be the death of me!

[3monkeys]

K is in her 1st yr of middle school (5th grade). The school is grades 5-8. They have monthly "Teen Hops" as fundraisers. I am against these, I just don't think a 10 yr old needs to go to dances every month. They had their first dances in 4th grade - which I refused to let K attend. There were kids who went with "dates". Kids at this age hear "dance" they associate them with the dances attended by older kids (high school siblings) and they try to act older than they should, IMHO. Also, I don't think 10 yr old 5th graders need to mix socially with 14-15 yr old 8th graders????? There's alot of stuff we hear that goes on in the playground, hallways, etc. Stuff that my friends high schoolers have confirmed actually happens.

So each month K says "there's a teen hop next week". And I say "and you're not going" and we go through all the reasons why. Well, I guess she still doesn't agree w/me even though she doesn't argue about it. She apparently cries to her best friend and then the mom calls and tries to convince me that she is a good kid (which I know) and I should let her attend. I tell her "you know how I feel about these" and she says "yes, but I told G (her DD) I would try.". Well it's getting annoying...this is the 3rd month.... how am I going to make it through till June????

Does anyone else feel the way I do, or am I just being overprotective?

[BC-NanceLee]

Oh I would hate to be forced into that at that age with the kids. There are no dances at the k-8 where Cole is still in 7th grade. Once he hits high school he can go to any dance he wants, as Max has. I feel for you. I wouldn't like it either. And monthly??? That's overkill even in high school!

[larasmom]

lara is in 6th grade. she had an SGA sponsored dance for grades 6-8 and she did not attend. she said she was too young and she heard that the older kids make out.

they used to hold the dances on a friday night but now they do them on a friday afternoon right after school and have you buy your ticket ahead of time......they used to be free when they were at night.

i know that next month there is an SGA sponsored dance right after school but it is only for 6th grade...........they are calling it a mixer........it is so the kids from the 3 incoming elementary schools have a chance to meet one another in a social setting and not in a classroom.

then there will be a dance in the spring for 6-8th grade.

all the rest of the dances are for 8th graders only.

i told lara i would like her to go to the mixer to meet some new people.......she is very shy and has had a hard time with the group of girls in our development. these 4 girls her age all used to be best friends but they decided in 5th grade that lara was not cool enough to hang with them because she was not into boys yet........so they excluded her..........now they are known as the nasty girls in the development........they are truly mean girls.......i just want lara to stay away from them because i feel they are going to be slutty snotty girls when they are older.

[3monkeys]

We had a mixer for the incoming 5th graders from the 2 schools to meet. I was ok with that, K attended with her friends. It was an early evening, around 5pm and ended around 8pm.

The Teen Hops are night time ones that you have to pay admission, pay for snacks. Completely done as fundraisers with not enough chaperones.

[BC-NanceLee]

Are these at private schools? I have never heard of dances before high school, but I attended and my boys both attend public schools.

[3monkeys]

Nope, this is public school. I have heard about Teen Hops for years, since some friends have older kids. But, last yr was the first yr they had 4th grade dance, the first time I put my foot down and said no to something K wanted to do. I posted about it. I think it is just making kids grow up too fast. A couple of girls in her grade (11 yrs old) have boyfriends already and hang out alone w/these guys at their homes after school - latchkey kids.

[BC-NanceLee]

4th and 5th grade is WAY too young for this kind of thing.

[larasmom]

i had a boyfriend in 6th grade. he built me a go cart. he tried to kiss me once and i was totally grossed out after that we would just hold hands and he would call me to play outside. it lasted for about 2 months.

when we were in 8th grade we got back together again and we would make out in the dark corner at the teen club dances to stairway to heaven with all other couples. then he moved away in the middle of 8th grade.

[tingirl]

our public school system has a 5-6 gr building and a 7-8 grade. They both do sock hop/dances, but not together. Ours are like a pp said, after school, prepaid.
Dd is in 7th grade, I don't mind her going but she has only wanted to go once so far (last year).
BUT she said that some of her friends as young as 5th grade would "french kiss" in the halls during the school day. The same kids were allowed to go on dates to movies, without parents Kids are moving a lot faster now physically than when we all were kids. It scares me but luckily(?) my dd is very shy, has friends in school but doesn't really hang out with anyone after, except at band functions.
I, like Larasmom, try to get her to go to stuff like this just to encourage her to make friends outside of school.... but she seems kind of content as she is.
Its scary being the mom of a girl teen!

[peako]

Ds's school (grades 6-8) has maybe 5 or 6 dances, they are mostly attended by the 6th grade students, the kids mostly go and the girls scream and get excitted about different songs and the boys just talk to each other and laugh at the the girls.