"Mom, what are your feelings about dating?"

[sue in CA]

...the next rollercoaster ride begins!!
DD is just 14 (9th grade) and has a boy at school who asked her if they could be boyfriend and girlfriend. DD said he is nice and kind and respectful and is flattered as she has never had a boy who has liked her.

We told her she may go out in groups but no dating on her own and we have to meet him of course. A dance is coming up and a group of kids are meeting there. He wants to pick her up (parents would be driving of course). Figured this would be a chance to meet him and his parents and get a feel for what is going on. We'll pick them up and take him home.

Am I ready for this? Will she make good decisions, will she stay safe, will I have a heart attack?

[larasmom]

i had my first boyfriend in 8th grade. we would go on dates to the movies and to the mall. he had an older brother that would drive us back and forth. when we went to the movies his brother would sit a few rows back from us and would not let us sit in the last row "makeout row". we went to school dances together.

[Sarah]

My boys are almost 13, so I know this is right around the corner for us too...not sure I am ready for it either.

[AMF]

Yes, she will be safe
No, you're probably not ready
and yes...You may even have a heart attack...

of course I say this all tounge in cheek...
She is opening the door to a very important time in her life.

How exciting.

I hope she has a great time at the dance. I hope her parents are nice too.
Can't wait for the update!

J

[BC-lisa in venice]

Don't envy you. As independent as Rachel is she has yet to go on a real date. She has been to dances but only with a large group. I am dreading the whole thing. Sue I do know of this great convent school in the Sonoran Desert. It is run by very strict Carmalite Nuns from France and it is 40 miles from the closest village. I could send you info if you are intersted.


lisa

[DKNY]

aye carrumba....i feel your pain. my dd and i just had the same convo just recently. i told her there would be A LOT of rules. i'm not ready either, but i was her age when i had my firrst boyfreind. my dh is definitely not ready!

[sue in CA]

Thanks for the responses ladies. Last night I had a long talk with the young man's mother and we are definitely on the same page re: what is appropriate for young 14's in the dating area. We had both told them no exclusivity-they can go out in a group but not alone and she gave him a long talk about respect and boundaries. I told dd that as her high school was a performing arts school but in addition houses a program for pregnant and or minors who are already parents I fully expect her to be attending as an arts student rather than a parent!!
She is giddy with excitement; not me!!

[peako]

ARe we ever ready? You are handling things right, you don't want her sneaking around behind your back.