Do you feel guilty if....

[Loopy Lou]

Do you feel guilty if....

you buy something for one twin and not the other.. even something simple like socks or a top???

I spend soooo much money on stuff they don't really need because i want to "keep it fair"

Any soloutions anyone???

[jan21]

Actually the most common word we hear around here is "it's not fair" (add a million exclamation points). So I do end up having to buy too much of stuff.

While yours are young and don't know the difference - try not to feel guilty. I did it too, but it only gets worse when they're older so try to save the money now!

Janice
Laura & Elizabeth 11/29/00

[GalaxyGirl]

Yes I feel very guilty when I buy Jenna new clothes and nothing for Tori. Then my guilt eases a little when I see Tori's wardrobe is TWICE the size of her sister's. She get's all of Jen's hand-me-downs in addition to the paired/matching/coordinating outfits I buy for them.

[Schill]

Guilt is the right of passage into motherhood. What don't I feel guilty about?

Our littles have to learn the reality that life isn't fair sooner or later. The sooner they learn it the better off they are.

I bought my dd a new pair of shoes today - because she needs them. Ds doesn't need a new pair of shoes. The thing that bothered him the most was that he wasn't able to run around the shoe section in a new pair of shoes to make sure they fit and didn't hurt. He got over it pretty quickly though. I just explained that he had more shoes to choose from at home than she did. She got two new pairs of shoes for Christmas that are still too big. And the new shoes he got fit fine. The reason doesn't really matter. In life we don't always get what others get, do we?

[_g_]

no i don't feel guilty at all. things are needed at different times. just because one outgrew shoes and needs a new pair doesn't mean everyone gets them. there are so many needs that it isn't long before everyone gets something. to buy just because---it just isn't practical for us.

[TrickiWoo]

No way! Sometimes I buy things for them because I see something on clearance and they don't have anything to fit/suit the other one. Also, sometimes one needs something and the other doesn't. DS needs socks and I'm going out this afternoon to buy him some. DD is fixed for socks so she's getting nothing. No guilt here!
They're so young though that they don't know. When they're older I might feel differently.

[MomNC]

First....let's look at the words fair and equal. Fair and equal are not the same thing. Fair is when everyone gets what they need. Equal is when everyone gets the same thing/amount.

That being said....I do not feel guilty when I buy something for one and not the other when it is fair. Sometimes I find great deals for one and not the other. But if it is a special treat....like we have run 8 hrs of errands and both kids have been fantastic...and I get them something little....then I am all about equal.

Regardless of if you have twins, triplets, or just more than one child......fair will always be in the eyes of the beholder!

[Loopy Lou]

MomNC... I like the way you describe Fair & Equal... That actually helps a lot!!

Schill... I love the picture!! What a sweetie you have there!!

Thanks girls!!

[Schill]

Great way to sum it up, Rain.

[LBWP]

When buying for (1) I usually do my best to buy for the other. I do try to keep it as even & fair as I possibly can. NO-life isn't always fair to/for them
& when that happens it unfortunately & inevitably ends up leaving someone crying. Then YES-I do feel guilty sometimes.

L (43)
K&E=4.6