Need some support if you can (pregnancy ment)

[ChrisNY]

So, DH has asked if I would be up to trying again. We discussed it a lot the last few months.

I waver back and forth. Not because I don't want another child, but because I am not sure if I can mentally/physically handle another pregnancy.

I am not a happy pregnant person. I tend to be sick and every pregnancy presents some freaky medical issue with my body caused by pregnancy.

Add that to the worry that something will be wrong with the baby as there is a 3-7% chance that what Gabe died of can happen again.

Please let me know I am not nuts to worry about these things. I just jumped right in with trying for Jack as I knew I just had to have another child regardless of how hard the pregnancy would be (I had no idea it would be the hell it was, but soooooo worth it anyways).

And of course, lets hope IF doesn't rear its crappy head if it feels like it.

Thanks for any support and any words of wisdom. All will be appreciated.

[Minnie2]

I get it. Pregnancy is super tough on me too. LIke IF isn't enough but thought of losing another baby, M/C and/OR complication freaks me out too !

[Crystal]

It's not an easy thing to try again, especially when one person wants to and the other one is on the fence. For us, Hannah's Potter's Syndrome wasn't genetic.. a "fluke" but still there, same with you, that chance. And it was scary. With Lane, I jumped right in there and wanted another baby, no matter what the chance but it was Hell too. I mean I got pg 3 months after her death, super fast. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat but it was hell. Not the pregnancy itself.. I'm a wonderful pregnant woman, even if I'm sick, I'm great because I'm pregnant! It was the stress that got to me. The stress of waiting until the 20 week u/s to see if the baby would have kidneys and then after that wondering still if something else wouldn't happen. And when I got pg with Steven, we were trying, we wanted another child but it was even scarier then because we had suffered a m/c by that time and dealt with secondary IF and on top of that the risk of another Potter's baby. So the stress of that pgny did me in. My husband too. I honestly would LOVE another baby. Steven is one month shy of 4 years old and no longer my baby. He's very much a big boy and I would love LOVE to have another baby. Did I mention that I would love to have another one? lol But it won't be happening for us.
We can't go through another pgny. The stress is too great on us individually and on our marriage and not to mention what it does to my oldest child. He's almost 10 but he went through the emotions of our m/c and he's old enough to know what happened with Hannah and he remembers how stressed we were before every doctor's appointment with Steven. When we finally got pg, 5 1/2 years after trying.. I had to get past the m/c point and then when I got past that, the 20 week mark and then I kept remembering all kinds of other things that could go wrong and I'd call my doctor for a in between check up and u/s and urgh.. I was just a wreck. That being said, that's us. I don't respond as often as I should but I've read your blogs about the issues both your husband and you faced and I know it was really rocky there for awhile. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. That doesn't mean you should either. It's a very personal thing and it's hard to decide what's right for you and your family when you know what you've been through. I wouldn't say you were crazy to try again or that you were crazy for not. Just know that I've been there and will support you no matter what you do.
I know I haven't helped much but sometimes it's good to know that someone else has struggled with the same issues. Love ya girl!

[TessToo]

One of the things that is taken from us, along with our children, is our innocence. We can't sit at a baby shower, trading labor stories, happy and oblivious like the other parents. They have no concept that babies die...and if they do, well it always happens to someone else.

But we know. We know that babies die. We know all the ways that things can go wrong. And we worry and fret and are a nervous wreck inside.

And knowing all that...how could you be anything but scared stiff to face all that again? Even for the pot at the end of the rainbow...it is a scary rollercoaster to get there. There is always that "what if" that lurks around every corner.

I think what you are feeling is very normal. TTC is a serious decision without loss, without IF...but you add those things in there and it just gets harder and harder to know what to do.
Only you can decide and whatever you decide will be right for you and your family.

If you do choose to ttc, I wish you the best of luck! I hope that it happens quickly and easily. Good luck!