teacher faux pas?

[MMN]

Good evening, I am adoptive Mom of 3 children, our oldest was born in 1991. I had a situation happen today, and needed some feedback. My youngest son, age 9 is in 4th grade. He came home to tell me his teacher told his class he was adopted during their English class. He (the teacher) followed the announcement with " Gee, I hope that wasn't a secret" No, my children all know they came to us through adoption. But, we always let adoption be "their" story to tell to whom they want to.... in regards to their friends. I am rather flabbergasted. I am not sure what "his" motivation was.. or the purpose it served. I guess I would not expect a teacher to say to the class, Gee, did you know John was birthed through his Mom's vagina.. or Mary was born by Cesarean. I am interested in your thoughts..

[M&M]

completely out of line and unacceptable.

[maj90]

I would be furious and would be having a talk with the teacher asap. Not at all appropriate or even his business to share

[pepper]

I would be furious, talk with the teacher and principal and be tempted to pull my child from their class or the school altogether, although I know it's not a good idea to run from your problems.

[Sarah66]

Uh, yeah, I would be having a sit-down with that teacher. Completely out of line. Next up: confidential medical information? Yikes.

[Ziggy 64]

I would be talking to the school officials. unprofessional. I am sorry it happened to your family.

I agree. if this happened to my child, that teacher and principal would be in the office with me. some children you know might be adopted but to bring it up in class? or anytime? If a child wants to share this info, then that is fine. But a teacher? its almost like she was trying to "humiliate him" somehow (JMHO). Yes, talking about personal stuff in class is out of line unless the child would bring it up.
what's next? medical history? details about the birthparents? details about why we adopt-- our infertility reasons???? UGH!

[MMN]

Okay.. a week later and it continues. Today one of my son's friend said to him, " Well at least my Mom and Dad wanted me" Luckily, he told the principal who "handled" the situation on the spot. Still no word about it from my son, hoefully he will share, otherwise I will ask about it before bedtime. YUK!

[lleva99]

Oh, I'm furious for you!!! You should definately have a sit down with the prinicipal and teacher....discuss confidentiality and your son's rights to privacy and to share his story with whom he chooses. It was absolutely none of the teachers business nor place to share that information, especially so randomly and for no apparent purpose. And now that the principals seen first hand the results of the teachers actions, maybe he'll be quicker to listen. I'm so sorry that this happened, you'll all be in my thoughts and prayers!

[pepper]

Oh, H no! I would escort him into school tomorrow and not leave without an apology from the teacher and principal and and invitation to speak to the class about adoption and positive adoption language.

[sue in CA]

As a teacher, I can't imagine a single situation where I would have a need to discuss how any of my students joined their family. The comment, "I hope that wasn't a secret" just implies to the class that there is something wrong with adoption. I would definitely talk to the teacher to let him know that he made a serious error in judgement and that you expect him to apologize privately to your son. By 4th grade a public apology may be humiliating to your son and just prolong the situation.