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  1. #11
    lleva99
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    OK....so this really ticked me off!

    I was just outraged at this comment so I e-mailed him, if anyone else wants to it's paulstam@bellsouth.net I think, otherwise just google him and it's paulstam.com or .org and there's a contact me button. Here's what I wrote....

    Dear Mr. Stam,



    I was appalled to hear of the comment you recently made regarding adoption....I live in Illinois and was angry enough to e-mail you so I can't imagine how the people who you represent feel. Many won't take the time to speak out about their disgust, but I just couldn't sit idly by and let you say such uneducated, disrespectful and derogatory things about adoption without at least voicing my strong disapproval. My friend, a fellow adoptive parent, informed me of this unfortunate garbage that spewed from your mouth, in public, nonetheless. In case you need to be refreshed...



    But the last clip was of Paul Stam, who represents part of Wake County (thankfully not my district but same county as me.) In reference to the bill they were just about to vote on he said: "This is like being at a funeral......when a baby is this unloved it needs to be put out for adoption"


    Apparently you are not very educated on adoption and therefore, not very tactful when speaking in regards to it. However, the majority of adoptions are not simply pregnant women wanting to get rid of their unloved babies, rather mothers making the choice for a better life for their child, regardless of the reason. The babies that are that unloved are the innocent babies that are murdered by abortion.



    However, Mr. Stam, that's not the biggest part of the insult. Please, for just a moment, put yourself in the shoes of any adopted child that had the distinct displeasure & insult of hearing an elected official speak of adopted children in that way. Funeral, unloved and being "put out for adoption" all in one sentence. That would give any child a boost in their self esteem and make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Many times adopted children have enough to deal with in regards to birthparents and birth families without trash like this to deal with.



    If for no other reason than regaining the respect of adoptive families and adopted children, please educate yourself on proper adoption etiquette and try not to crush the spirits of adopted children or enrage adoptive families in public again.



    With all due respect,



    Sarah Ellison

    Danville, IL

    Adoptive mother to two very loved children



    And I included a picture of the kids. I hope he really hears it and thinks about what he says before he says it next time!
    me 29 dh 34
    dd 9/4/04
    ds 11/13/06
    Savanna - Yorkshire Terrier
    Charlie - Lab/Golden Retriever


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  3. #12
    SaraBB
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    OMG, I am sitting here with my mouth on the floor. I think I will write to him. I might be able to verabalize as well as lleva but he will hear from me.
    Last edited by SaraBB; 08-12-2009 at 09:35 PM.
    SaraB
    Javier 10 y.o.
    Elisa 9 y.o.
    Alia 7 y.o.
    Blessed by the miracle of adoption
    diagnosed with cancer 5/07
    finished chemo on 10/07


  4. #13
    bearz
    in a state of constant confusion
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    How old is that guy? 110? Seriously, that is old, outdated thinking and speech. Love the letter and hope he gets bombarded.
    The Farmer's Wife
    As I chose him, I chose this land, this life
    And always knew that as his wife
    Midst labors never done. By love we three were wed. We and the land are one.


  5. #14
    marg
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    Wow Sarah, awesome letter.

    I got this response back, with no salutation:

    "I am a big supporter or adoption and adoptive parents and birth parents. I am sorry that I offended you. Rep Stam"

    I don't feel very satisfied.

    I guess this explains why our adoption laws here are years behind the more progressive states.


  6. #15
    SgtMom
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    Good for you! If I had read this sooner I would have written to him to - did you ever get a response?
    Married almost 9 years, together 11 years

    IF issues - too many; tx- lots

    Amazing 5yo daughter through the gift of domestic adoption!

    Me: 43, ex-cop Dh: 56, computer guy

    DD: 5, future diver for the Monterey Bay Aquarium


  7. #16
    nicci
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    Oh my. That is just horrible. Birthmoms make the LOVING choice of adoption because THEY DO love their kids. He needs to go on record and say sorry to every adopted child and birthparent and adoptive parent. So wrong...
    Me 35
    DH 41
    Skyler 5


  8. #17
    Lynda-PA
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    Incredibly insensitive and offensive. He would never get my vote! And the reply also considerably less than satisfying.
    Lynda
    Doubly Blessed Mama to 2 Red Girls from Russia
    (9 and 7 years old already!)


  9. #18
    Pebbles
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    Been gone for a long time, but your post got my blood up. I will also sending a nasty email to his office. I hope many others do also, can't wait for my Dh to hear this one, don't know if any of you remember but he can be a real hot head about this stuff.
    "Where your pleasure is, there is your treasure; Where your treasure, there your heart; where your heart, there your happiness" Augustine


  10. #19
    Ziggy 64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynda-PA View Post
    Incredibly insensitive and offensive. He would never get my vote! And the reply also considerably less than satisfying.
    Lynda
    I agree, insensitive jerk. reminds me of another who is govt office.
    L- married to DH 18 yrs!!! mom to 2 beautiful miracles thru unselfish love (10!) and 4 yrs old!
    Thought For The Day: you can repair and rebuild anything in your life with the right tools and inspiration.
    "Why waste energy on worry when you can spend it on your dreams?"


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