Sigh...a little sad for dd

[RedbirdJ]

We were supposed to have an open adoption with K's (dd#2) bmom but we have not heard from her in a year or two and don't have a way to contact her. DD#2 (A) has a bmom/bdad and bgrandma who all contact us from time to time and send things & letters. A's bmom just called the other day and I had A "talk" to her on the phone. I was just finishing up our annual christmas letter to K's birthmom (goes to the agency in the hopes she will call them and request it) and when K asked me what I was doing I told her I was sending a letter to R and that she used to be in R's tummy. Then K asked me, "can we call her?" I know she remembers that A talked to her bmom the other day. It made me sad even though I know K is not quite old enough to really understand.....

[HuntersMom0129]

Hugs to both you & K.

[Pebbles]

s

[MIliyMoy]

What a hard situation, I am sorry!!! Healing hugs for you and K!!

[marg]

We have an identical situation. Haven't seen or heard from Abbie's bmom since the birth. We talk to ds's bmom about every few months (down from about once a month the first year) and exchange Xmas and birthday gifts. She always send cards for holidays and sends one to Abbie for her birthday. Abbie knows who ds's bmom is, and remembers her son. So far she doesn't seem upset about this, though when we first brought ds home Abbie used to say that she came from C's tummy also.

I also worry about this being an issue in the future. We hope to see Matt's bmom, son and mother next fall. We'll just have to see how Abbie responds to that.

[HopesPromise]

I can just imagine how hard this would be. I have no idea how I would handle it. Lots of compassion and TLC.

[Daffodil]

I am sorry. That has to be really hard.

[sue in CA]

We are in the same situation; oldest dd has direct contact (letters, email, phone) with her birthfamily on both sides. We were to have the same level of contact for dd#2, but haven't heard from them in 7 years. My youngest is very sad that she doesn't have contact.

[babypink]

[RedbirdJ]

Thanks all! At least I'll be able to get good tips from those of you in the same situation. One really nice thing is that A's birthfamily always tries to include K--A's Bgrandma sent some sweet bracelets and she sent two, one for each girl. I just loved that she was so thoughtful to do that for K. And A's bmom always asks if I've heard from K's bmom. So, at least we do not have a bfamily who ignores the other child for which I am so grateful.