Opinions?

Lois · 11-16-2009, 02:35 PM

This weekend R attended a bday party for a friend/classmate. We know the parents fairly well. The dad was not at the party. He attended a local college football game. Dh was appalled when I told him that, he thought dd's bday party should take priority, regardless of circumstances. The mom told me that he initially planned to attend the game with her brother (who incidentally attended the opposing team school). Then when she reminded him it was E's bday that day, her dh chose not to go to the game. However, somehow this was not communicated to brother/bil, who then arrived as an out-of-town guest expecting to attend the football game. So the mom actually encouraged her dh to then go to the game with her brother...your thoughts? (Party was held at a cheerleading place)

**BC-NanceLee** · 11-16-2009, 02:56 PM

First half of the story - I was appalled too. Second half - I totally understood why he attended the game.

**BC-katrack** · 11-16-2009, 03:36 PM

I think he should have gone to the game under those circumstances and I would have encouraged my dh to do the same.

Now, what if there were no out-of-town guest? It depends on the expectations of the couple. Some parents do all of the birthday kind of thing together and others are more of the "you do your thing and I'll do mine" kind of folks. If football is really important to the dh and having a party at a "we do it for you" kind of place is her thing, I don't see why they have to both attend the other's activity. I'm sure there was at-home recognition of the child's birthday already.

GirlMom · 11-16-2009, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BC-katrack

I think he should have gone to the game under those circumstances and I would have encouraged my dh to do the same.

Now, what if there were no out-of-town guest? It depends on the expectations of the couple. Some parents do all of the birthday kind of thing together and others are more of the "you do your thing and I'll do mine" kind of folks. If football is really important to the dh and having a party at a "we do it for you" kind of place is her thing, I don't see why they have to both attend the other's activity. I'm sure there was at-home recognition of the child's birthday already.

This!

peako · 11-16-2009, 05:13 PM

Depends

MarinaTwinMom · 11-16-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BC-katrack

I think he should have gone to the game under those circumstances and I would have encouraged my dh to do the same.

Now, what if there were no out-of-town guest? It depends on the expectations of the couple. Some parents do all of the birthday kind of thing together and others are more of the "you do your thing and I'll do mine" kind of folks. If football is really important to the dh and having a party at a "we do it for you" kind of place is her thing, I don't see why they have to both attend the other's activity. I'm sure there was at-home recognition of the child's birthday already.

This.

If they celebrated her birthday at home with a cake and presents, and this was more of a party for the girl's friends, then I think it was fine for him to go to the football game as long as his wife was okay with it.

Virga · 11-16-2009, 05:24 PM

My first question is who dropped the ball a.k.a. who forgot to tell the brother?

lorylyn · 11-16-2009, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlmom

this!

that!:d

jan21 · 11-16-2009, 07:10 PM

I wouldn't have had a problem with him going to the game.

At that age they don't really need both parents there - DH will come to ours just because I want help with set-up/carrying things home etc - plus he's the photographer in the family! But under those circumstances I think it would have been fine for hiim to go to the game - especially at a place where you have helpers running everything.

Janice
L&E 11/oo

TG1 · 11-16-2009, 08:13 PM

Ditto to what NL said.

11-16-2009, 02:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lois 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: KS Posts: 16,306 Blog Entries: 438	Opinions? This weekend R attended a bday party for a friend/classmate. We know the parents fairly well. The dad was not at the party. He attended a local college football game. Dh was appalled when I told him that, he thought dd's bday party should take priority, regardless of circumstances. The mom told me that he initially planned to attend the game with her brother (who incidentally attended the opposing team school). Then when she reminded him it was E's bday that day, her dh chose not to go to the game. However, somehow this was not communicated to brother/bil, who then arrived as an out-of-town guest expecting to attend the football game. So the mom actually encouraged her dh to then go to the game with her brother...your thoughts? (Party was held at a cheerleading place) __________________ Lois H&S, 10/01, IVF R, 10/04, Natural

11-16-2009, 02:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
BC-NanceLee 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 29,901 Blog Entries: 120	First half of the story - I was appalled too. Second half - I totally understood why he attended the game. __________________ Me 51, DH 31, Max 19, Cole 14 The only choice in life is love vs. fear. I choose love. ALWAYS. Change is inevitable, growth is intentional. - Unknown

11-16-2009, 03:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
BC-katrack Decorating/Gardening/Mormon Boards Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 15,258 Blog Entries: 853	I think he should have gone to the game under those circumstances and I would have encouraged my dh to do the same. Now, what if there were no out-of-town guest? It depends on the expectations of the couple. Some parents do all of the birthday kind of thing together and others are more of the "you do your thing and I'll do mine" kind of folks. If football is really important to the dh and having a party at a "we do it for you" kind of place is her thing, I don't see why they have to both attend the other's activity. I'm sure there was at-home recognition of the child's birthday already. __________________ dd - 5, dd & dd - 7, ds - 17, dd - 20, ds - 23 You may have riches and wealth untold, caskets of jewels and baskets of gold, but richer than I you never will be, for I had a mother who read to me. BC of the Decorating & Sewing board, the Home & Garden board, and the Mormon board.

11-16-2009, 05:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
peako 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 9,811	Depends __________________ peako If you don't stand up, you can't fall down. and the Mother of a

11-16-2009, 05:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
Virga 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: my beloved living Earth Posts: 15,936 Blog Entries: 105	My first question is who dropped the ball a.k.a. who forgot to tell the brother? __________________ Mom to ~ Daughter 8/91; Son 5/01; Son 12/03; Son b/d 8/07 at 16 weeks (unknown cause, possibly his own antibodies) Four itty-bitty angels that I will know again. Sweetest puppy ever - Zabine 7/11/09


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11-16-2009, 07:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
jan21 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,241	I wouldn't have had a problem with him going to the game. At that age they don't really need both parents there - DH will come to ours just because I want help with set-up/carrying things home etc - plus he's the photographer in the family! But under those circumstances I think it would have been fine for hiim to go to the game - especially at a place where you have helpers running everything. Janice L&E 11/oo

11-16-2009, 08:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
TG1 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Spring, TX Posts: 3,565 Blog Entries: 14	Ditto to what NL said. __________________ Theresa Mommy to: Kelly 12/27/2000 & Twin angel

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