Athena

[shona]

Hey Kerrie

Thanks for the welcome back. I'm very cautiously putting my foot back in. haven't been over to the parenting boards yet. Am so busy at work I just don't have the time to keep up there. One of the reasons why I eventually gave up a couple of years back. How are you doing? Congrats on the new pregnancy, but I'm so very sorry to see in your siggy about your little boy. We have a girl at work who lost her firstborn to SIDS and despite the fact that she now has twins and it's been 3 years since they lost Daniel, she still gets upset.

Anyway if you get a chance pop in and tell me how the whole family is doing. Caitlyn is doing great. Thoroughly enjoying school and far too big for her boots. 6 with the mouth of a 16 year old LOL.

[Athena]

You just don't know how happy I am to see you posting again! And I'm thrilled to see you pregnant again. I know you are going to be terrified. We recently had a post on the loss board about Sean's birthday and I thought about you.

It's been almost a year since Nolan died. I still miss him terribly and I can't imagine that I will ever fully accept that he's gone. I mean, I know he's gone but I feel like he should still be here with us. Time has softened the excruiating pain that was constant. It's still under the surface, ready to pop out at unexpected times. I'm sure you know what I mean.

Greyson just turned 6 yesterday and finished his first year of school last month. We still have my neice and she's a handful and helpful at the same time. (Moody pre-teen age is not fun.) My twins are crazy little thrill-seekers who have no fear. I'm now 19 weeks pregnant with our newest baby girl. The pregnancy has been very hard on me. I have been full of doom and gloom. I did feel a lot better after my level 2 u/s and I have allowed myself to start purchasing stuff for her.

[shona]

Wow Kerri sounds like you've really had a hard time of things. How come it's always a case of such bad things happen to such nice people. I can never understand this and the "if it's meant to be" and "things happen for a reason". Maybe if we had some better inkling of the reason we'd understand more, but I just don't buy it.

Anyway I know what you mean about buying things. I am determined not to buy anything before 28w with this one. I just need to get past where Caitlyn was born and I'll start feeling easier. Of course the fear of another ruptured ectopic is keeping me awake at night right now, so we have to get past that first hurdle tomorrow, although I have to admit last time I just didn't feel right. I had no pain or anything, but in myself I just didn't feel like it was a good pregnancy. This one is totally different and I feel a LOT more optimistic.

Anyway I'm thrilled to be back and thanks for the thoughts. I'll let you know what tomorrow brings. I should be just under 6w so we should at least see a sac and yolk sac in the uterus. Too early for the HB but at this stage that doesn't worry me.

Shona
Caitlyn 6