Anybody Brave Enough to Try for One More?!

[DeeNa]

I can't believe I'm actually thinking about this. This baby is due in late May/early June, and I need to know if I should close up shop or try for one more. This is our 4th. DH won't have a vas., and I had a tubal ligation reversal almost four years ago, so he can forget me doing that again. I hate hormonal birth control, but neither of us is considering anything permanent. But to me it seems like DH is "waffling" - not saying we CAN'T have another one, but not saying we CAN either. If he doesn't want permanent BC, then he's aware that we MIGHT get pg again. But it's not bothering him enough to do anything permanent. We have a 10yo, a 5yo, a 2yo and this baby.

Any thoughts?

Thanks!
Love,
Dianna
It's a GIRL! Kendall - EDD 6/16/06

[jodie35]

hi Dianna,

this will be my 3rd baby (6th pregnancy) and I have already discussed with my OB about doing a tubal immediately after the baby is born.

so the answer for me is no, I am NOT brave enough!!!

[Memmo]

I have a 15 yr old son a 12 yr old son and i am 8 weeks pg I actually plan on doing this again right away by the time this baby is 15 my oldest sont will be 30 wow I am thinking this baby needs someone to play with and have fun with and if i didnt have health problems earlier i would probably have 6 by now.
Thanks

[BC-GoMom]

I would do it again in a heartbeat! I had my tubes tied with my last c-section and dh and I have regret it. I am 42 and dh is 53 He has a ds that is about 30 and a ds (that I adopted) that died last year that would be 19 and then the three... almost 7 , 5 and 3.5 years
I think the really important thing is to be on the "same page" as dh. Emotions are very high at your (and dh's) stage right now - I would not (like me) make a permanent decision until about 12 months after your baby is born- your hormones are ok and you see how life is going to be.... JMHO.
JenC

[Athena]

I think this will be our last baby. I thought that last time, too, but changed my mind right before he was born. Sadly, he died and that made me want another baby even more.

I do want to say I love the name you picked out for your little girl. My youngest dd is Kendall Grace.

[Beth1070]

I'll be 36 when our first child gets here in Oct. and DH will be 42, but we have already discussed the possibility of trying again within a year of our first being born. But, it took us over 11 years to get this one so unless the next one comes along pretty quickly, we just don't have time to work at it for another 11 years. LOL

[Cheryl D]

I agree with JenC. I'd wait and see how you feel. When I was going in for my 2nd c-section (with #2), my OB jokingly asked me if she should do a "tubal" after the section? DH said "yes", I said "NO!" (The reality was....I was delivering in a Catholic hospital that doesn't allow tubals without special permission....so she was really joking.)

But it did start a conversation between DH and I and I realized that I didn't feel "done" after #2.....even though I'd had to spend 3 months on bedrest and can only get pg. via IVF. I went on the pill for a year after #2 was born in the event we had the "miracle conception" (our oldest 2 are only 12 mos. apart....and it was quite a strain on my DH to have them that close.) After a year, DH and I went off the pill and decided to "see what would happen." I think DH thought I would get pg. naturally.

After a year and no pg's....on April Fools Day, I decided to play a joke on my DH. I dug up one of my "positive" hpt's from one of my pg's and "freshened" it up a bit!!! And showed it to my DH and told him I was pg. and he FREAKED OUT!!!! He told me "You'd better be joking!! or I'm gonna start crying!" I did tell him I was joking, but he ALSO admitted that for just a minute he was REALLY excited at the thought of having another baby!!!!

That was IT!!! We started gearing up for our last IVF and we had our miracle baby last March (albeit he arrived 3 months early.....10 weeks in the NICU.) but I can't imagine our life without him. I'm SO glad we didn't stop at 2.....and felt at TOTAL peace when we made the decision to tie my tubes during this last c-section. I KNEW I didn't have the strength to go thru another high-risk pg. and possibly have a baby earlier than 28 weeks.....

I think if you have the "tiniest" hesitation....then don't do anything permanant. I truly believe you and your DH need to feel "finished" and at peace with your decision.


Sounds like you've been very blessed to have had a successful tubal-reversal.... CONGRATS on your new addition.
deanne-

[DeeNa]

Hi Deanne -

Thanks for the congrats. I'm Dianna, (pronounced Dee-Anna), by the way, so I love your name! I just can't bring myself to touch my tubes again. I have so many friends that I met going through the process of getting the reversal, and they've had no luck. So I just can't throw this amazing gift away.

I got the tubes tied while I was in a major bout with PPD. Even my doctor knew something wasn't right with me, but I basically convinced him to do it. I had it reversed within a year! So everyone who says to steer clear of making big decisions in the first year postpartum is SOOO RIGHT!! There were some days I shouldn't have been deciding what to make for dinner, not to mention decisions about major life-changing surgery.

We still haven't made a decision, although I think that by NOT talking about it, we're coming to a quiet agreement of sorts. We both joke about "the next one", so...

Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.
Love,
d-

[Cheryl D]

Dianna,
I had to laugh when I read your post..... All my life people have "mis-prounounced" my name. I don't know why it's such a hard name to say.... most people add an "a" to the end and call me "Dee-Anna" too....even though it's pronounced: "Dee-Ann". I would imagine everyone calls you "Di-Anna."

When we were picking names for our DD.....I said we might as well save people the trouble and name her Breanna.....because even if we named her Breann, people will add an "a" on the end of it anyway!!

P.S.- If I didn't have to do IVF to get pg. and then have such a hard time staying pg......I'd have another baby in a heartbeat!!!!! DH would FREAK.....but let's just say.....we'd have a little..............."oops!" I LOVED being pg! I LOVE babies......our babies! I would dearly LOVE to have 1 more..... (That's another reason why I had a tubal instead of DH having a vasectomy.....I teased him that we could still find a gestational surrogate!!!!! ) He said "not in a million years!!!!" .......but that's what he said about having #3 too.............

I hope you have a wonderful delivery and if it's meant to be that you have another sweet addition to your family in the future......
deanne-

[mama7]

I'm brave enough for 1 more....actually praying for one more. The Lord has blessed me with 13....7 here on earth, 6 in heaven. If you close up shop you may miss out on what He has to give to you. Just look into those faces of your children. Each are a blessing!

mama7