Crazy to put off TTC 1 more year ?

[Conflicted]

Hi all, I need some sage advice desperately.
I'm almost 35, no children and was hoping to start trying to conceive in '06.
But I have just been offered a temporary work assignment ranging from 12-14 months and it offers crazy high salary and great bonus.
It's a temp executive management position for one of my Uncles' companies.
He's going on vacation sabbatical and has selected me as the person he trusts most to oversee operations for a year or so.
The problem is is that job entails working 70 hours and constant travel.
Not the best situation to get pregnant and be pregnant.
This is a once in a lifetime offer and I'm very distraught as to what to do.
My big question is, how much (what %) will my fertility drop if I wait until 36/37 to try and conceive ?
My husband wants children asap but he also says this is a great chance for me to be a stay at home Mom because we'll have enough saved up if I work this executive position. (I'd be making an astronomical sum of 400k plus a bonus if I watch my Uncle's company for 1 year)
And my DH comes from a huge Catholic family where his Mom had kids easily at 38, 39, 41 & 43 and my Mother had me at 36 so he thinks Ill have no problem getting pregnant if I wait a bit more.


What to do ? Any advice much appreciated !

[Blondie8]

The job sounds wild, what a dilemma you're facing. That said, conception and pregnancy don't have huge familial links. That is, just b/c your Mum or MIL had children later doesn't mean that you can/will.

If you read the charts you'll see that everything starts to dip at age 35. (Less chance of conceiving, more chance of miscarriage, less chance of carrying to term, higher risk of complications such as hypertension, gestational diabetes and higher chances of genetic defects such as Downs, trisomy, etc.) The charts are floating around, search Pub Med for the most recent information.

You might want to visit your OB/GYN and speak to him her and see what they think. If you have a history of endo, heavy, painful or irregular AF's then that could further complicate matters. Your Doc might want to send you for some basic blood work to see how your hormone levels, FSH, etc. Do you know if you're ovulating regularly? Charting this could give you some good information.

My personal experience, which I'm happy to share if it helps you is that I was in perfect health at age 34 (DH 36) and from a family of women of had children into their fourties. It took us four years, five pregnancies, a whole lot of heartache, tons of self advocacy, consulting with Doctors and procedures until my son arrived. If I had started at 38 (my age now) chances are we wouldn't have him. As soon as you hit 36 you are considered AMA (advanced maternal age) and are automatically a higher risk patient that someone aged 35. I too had a fab job with a great wage but truly I wouldn't change this for the world.

Most women (except those with already diagnosed conditions) don't know how fertile they are and indeed how their body can handle the pregnancy until they try.

Hope this ramble helped, best of luck whatever you decide, it's a big decision for you and DH and might take lots of consideration until you figure it all out.

ETA: You might want to post this on the Infertility BB's, such as General Infertility, Primary, etc as you'll lots of feedback. Posting this on a pregnancy BB gives you feedback only from the gals lucky enough to make it over here. (It's a big thrill to graduate to these BB's!)

[Surrogate4u]

"mtwboys@hotmail.com".

[Conflicted]

Originally Posted by Blondie8

Hope this ramble helped, best of luck whatever you decide, it's a big decision for you and DH and might take lots of consideration until you figure it all out.

ETA: You might want to post this on the Infertility BB's, such as General Infertility, Primary, etc as you'll lots of feedback. Posting this on a pregnancy BB gives you feedback only from the gals lucky enough to make it over here. (It's a big thrill to graduate to these BB's!)

Thanks so much for the advice.
I'll also try posting it on the Infertility BB.
Take care.

[BC-GoMom]

Conflicted-
I do not know what to say.

I started ttc when I was 26 and did not have a living child until I was 35. And have had 2 more since.

You do need to consult with an RE soon and get some testing. You will have more info with which to make your decision.

Best to you.
JenC

[riser35]

I'd take the job and eat a very health diet with lots of supp - even see a naturopath for diet/supplements and or acupuncture. this will help make your body ripe for pregnancy when you are ready. The big cut off everyone talks about is over 38 your fertility really starts to drop quickly.

riser35

[beth1968]

I started trying at 35 and its taken me 3 years to get pregnant. There's no telling if you will get pregnant immediately or not. Do you have endometriosis or any other condition that may effect your fertility? If not I don't think a year will make a big difference but you should be prepared for the statistics. After 35 they do change every 6 months to a year. I agree with Riser35 on trying to live the most healthy lifestyle you can over the next year to help preserve your fertility. But that can be hard to do when you are constantly on the road. I think the book Getting Pregnant has a big section on preserving fertility. Check it out and give it a try.

The job sounds spectacular and you wouldn't want to regret for the rest of your life that you never took it. Weigh your options and if it's what you really want to do then do it. But be prepared that you may not get pregnant right away once you start trying. You may also what to get your FSH checked just to be sure you are average for your age.

Besides there's no reason you can't start trying to conceive a year from now. No reason you have to wait until the job is over. Maybe start trying to get pregnant 4-5 months before the job ends. It will probably take at least a few months to conceive anyway. If you get pregnant right away then good for you. Women work 4-5 months pregnant all the time.

Good luck with your decision.

-Beth

[MelanieS]

Hi- I think I would take the job for that year and stock some cash for a cycle. I can't imagine your ovarian reserve diminishing too much between 35 and 36/37. I started trying at age 24/25 (optimal fertility age) and just got pregnant at 35. all 3 fresh IVF's at a younger age did not work and we had our best quality embryos at age 34 on our fourth IVF which still resulted in a negative. Our frozen cycle worked with the worst embryos left over to freeze since the best were transferred on a fresh cycle. I am currently 23 wks. Sorry to ramble guess I was just trying to say that I didn't get pregnant younger, but on the older side and my RE told me that good candidates go to the age of 40. Most people are building families later in life these days not like our parents did at age 18.

Best of luck on your decision !

[LeslieT]

Is this truly for just 1 year? If so, here's what I would do. Definitely take it, and at about the 7-8 month mark, start TTC. If you are pregnant with the first month's try, the travel won't limit you until about midway through the pregnancy. So you'd finish out the job before travel would really be an issue, baring some unforeseen health issue. You'd just need to tough it out during the morning sickness phase, and be very careful about what food & water you consume overseas. There are pregnant flight attendants who I believe continue to fly until later in pregnancy. Shorter flights though. It'd be an issue if you were doing constant 10-14 hour flights. But shorter ones are OK.

If you don't become pregnant with the first month or even 2nd, you're now really close to the end of the job. You'd have the $$ in the bank, and can then really start TTC'ing hardcore.

But the suggestion about talking to an RE too is a great one. They can run tests and see if everything is looking normal for your temporary holding pattern.

[ANP]

I agree with Lesley...I would put off trying for a few months to closer to the end of your job and then start trying. As she said the first few months will not restrict you but the end of your pg...I would also look around for a dr also to make sure that all is well for when you get ready to start trying.