Anyone over 40 with using their own eggs?

[Chanteuse]

Adelaidegal,

I am 43 and I will have my son in March. After years if IF treatments and one m/c, he is our miracle. Both time I have been pregnant have been without the aid of the IF treatments.

I was frightened to tell people at first. I told only my immediate family. I still view it on a day by day week by week basis. I tell myself that I had a great healthy day and all is well. My only other alternative would have been to be depressed and scared and that wasnt going to help my health or the baby's. After about 10 weeks we shared the news with others. Part of me felt that sharing my joy and hopes with others would be a benefit to my health. I could voice my hopes and my fears. It really helped. It also doesnt hurt to have others pulling for you and praying.

I wish you health and happiness!

[adelaidegal]

Hi Lori,

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. You have been through so much. I agree, "old eggs" is such a nasty term. All the negativity around 40+ pregnancies really gets to me sometimes. As I said earlier, yes, there are risks, but why go on and on about them? There are risks in day to day life, it's just that we don't usually think about them (we'd really go crazy if we did LOL). It is incredible that you are now conceiving with relative ease. How wonderful!! I know someone who, after several miscarriages, was prescribed hormone supplements . . . which resulted in a full term pregnancy and a healthy baby boy . Granted, she was younger than us, but not by much. I think she was 38 at the time. Very best wishes to you + lots of babydust.

[adelaidegal]

Hi Chanteuse,

in a matter of weeks you will be welcoming your son into the world . . . how incredible!! I understand what a miracle this is, and I'm so happy for you. I appreciate your comments. It is very much a day by day situation, but, just as you say, the only real alternative is to be depressed and scared throughout the pregnancy (no good for anyone involved). It does help to voice your hopes and fears, I agree. It certainly helps me. I think these chat rooms are a great resource for doing just that.

I'm not sure when we will share the news more widely, but not for a while yet. In some ways, not telling people only adds another layer of stress. It is a very big secret to keep, especially if everyone knows you have been ttc for years. It makes me want to avoid people right now, which is not great either. Still, I can see the advantages to not shouting it from the rooftops at this stage .

Very best wishes to you and your baby.

[oldermama]

Hi Ruth:

Thanks for the congrats. I was told so many negative things up to the time my dh and I decided to give up that I just couldn't go through the ups/downs each month of trying to concieve. Drs. can be so negative. I was told there was no way and if I did want to try IVF I couldn't use my own eggs etc. Since we live in a small town - we would have to travel and that's just not possible. So then I get pregnant! So you go girl! There is always a chance no matter what the 'stats are'. People are always defying the odds. Good luck.

Barbara

[oldermama]

Hi Lori:

I know the 'old eggs' really gets to me. I heard it then actually dreamt about it!

I am sorry for your losses. But on the one hand they say getting pregnant is half the battle so now that they have found a reason for your repeat miscarriage well, that's great! I know of a few women who have had repeat miscarriages go on to give birth. This next time just might be the one!

The oldest woman I know so far is 47 and pregnant now at over 20 weeks.(don't know her but on the chats) and she is doing great! And my GP told me that I have long way to go before I get the crown of oldest mommy as he had a patient who was 50 when she delivered her daughter!!! Mom was truly surprised as you can imagine. The little girl is now 10 and just fine as is Mom. So there you go.

Sending babydust and good luck to you also.

Barbara

[oldermama]

Hi Adelaidegal:

Thanks for the kind words. I class this pregnancy as our little 'miracle'. At first I took it day by day . I felt like 'yes, I know the odds (still good really) and I can read - I have access to the internet - I know - but this is 'mine - it was unexpected so it must be meant to be be and if it wasn't then I will be okay with that also. I don't mean to sound callous as trust me I am not but I didn't want to stress about the 'what ifs what ifs' [which I am known to do]and that was my way of dealing with them. I know you must be going through that anxiety now and it's not easy - I was there - so hang in there. Like you said - take deep breaths and just say 'it's okay - everythings okay - today is here and all is well - and you just made it one more day - the little bean just got one day older.

I also read lots of positive image quotes when I would get stressed - found that site you mentioned also and would read and savour the stories of the mom's who made it! Their stories brought me much hope. It's why I wanted to share mine with you so I give some of that hope back.

My mom is a homecare nurse and she has a patient who is 85 years old and her youngest son (who is just fine) is 38 years old. So if we do the math - mom was 47 when she gave birth to him - she had some kids before him to so she had about 4 kids after the age of 35. Not to go back to the dark ages but our bodies were designed to have children - to get pregnant and give birth. To our bodies this probably isn't such a big deal.

Anyway, I am rambling - I just wanted to say I am sending good thoughts your way.

Barbara

[GG Wally]

Hello

I'm pretty new to this site and I thank GOD I found it. I have just gone through my second cycle of IVF. The first one failed. The second one was a BFP but then my beta numbers never doubled and it turned out to be a miscarriage which I went through last week.

I've been so depressed. Today, I lost it at work (I am a Special Ed teacher) and just walked out. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I went to my "regular" DR. and he put me on Xanax to calm me. One of the things I can't get out of my head is what the doctor said to me when I went for my consult was, due to your age, your chances of getting pregnant is 15 - 20% !! I wish he'd never shared that news.

I know positive thinking is so important. I can't seem to shake this feeling of "doom and gloom." To make matters worse, my husband is totally against adopting which just makes me more depressed. At least with adoption you know it will end with a child.

I am so thankful to have read these success stories of age 40+ women using their own eggs. I also found the information on repronex (which is what I used) and menopur interesting. THank you for sharing that. I will definitly bring that up at my next meeting.

I have to wait a month until I can start my next cycle. I hope to share, and, hear many success stories from 40+ women.

Thank you all again for sharing your insights and knowledge. I feel better.

GG Wally

[oldermama]

Hi GG Wally:

Oh, I am sorry you are going through a rough time. I am sorry for your recent loss. Don't feel bad about feeling 'doom & gloom'. Your body and horomones just went through a radical change and after a miscarriage it takes awhile to feel better. It's a loss - you need to grieve that.

On the positive side if you were positive for a pregnancy once - there is good chance of concieving again.

Wishing you better days ahead and sending baby dust your way.

Barbara

[adelaidegal]

Hi Barbara,

thanks for all your encouragement and good thoughts. I really appreciate it. You wrote: "it was unexpected so it must be meant to be and if it wasn't then I will be okay with that also". I don't find your attitude callous, and in fact, this is just what I have been telling myself when my head starts spinning with the dreaded "what ifs?". It's good to hear someone else got through the anxiety (which really is overwhelming at times) with the same kind of thoughts. I need to believe this pregnancy was "meant to be", but I also need to remind myself that I will be OK if it doesn't work out. Devastated yes, but ultimately OK. So, thanks again. Your reassurance really helps.

Sending good thoughts + wishes your way.

[adelaidegal]

Hi GG Wally,

I'm so sorry for your loss. As Barbara said, give yourself time to grieve. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. I understand how that feels. I had been trying to get pregnant for years when this happened, and I was experiencing bouts of depression + anxiety symptoms. I don't like taking medication, but was so tired of struggling with these feelings, I was seriously considering it. Next thing I knew, I was pregnant.

Wonderful news, but so far the pregnancy has only worsened my anxiety, which is really not fun. I would love to "enjoy" this pregnancy, but so far, I can only approach it on a "one day at a time" basis, take deep breaths when I feel anxious, and keep telling myself whatever happens, it will be OK.

I'm sorry that doctor "got into your head" with his statistics. I've consulted two reproductive endocrinologists over the past few years. I was shown graphs of my plummeting fertility (statistically speaking), given distressing information, and made to feel my body was highly unlikely to conceive without medical intervention. I know how they can do a number on you. Try not to focus on the "scare stories" (easier said than done, I know). Statistics can only ever give information about a large group of people, not about any one individual.

It's great to "think positive" if you can, but I really don't believe positive thinking is what makes the difference. I was most certainly not thinking positively at the time I conceived. To be honest, I had never been so stressed in my life, I just couldn't seem to relax. To top it off, I had a head cold, so was feeling especially out of sorts. It's early days for me yet, but they say getting pregnant is half the battle, and this is the first time in my life I have ever been pregnant. For me, that in itself is amazing.

Good luck + babydust to you.