New to forum and wondering

[BarbyII]

Hi All,
I am new to this forum and at the ripe old age of 45 trying for our second child. Conceived my DS on the eve of my 42th birthday and though did have high blood pressure, all turned out perfect. When he was 9 months old I got pregnant again, lost that pregnancy at 7 weeks and went on to get pregnant (all "naturally") and miscarry two more times over the year. (testing showed I have "two copies" of the MTHFR mutation; blood thinner injections during pregnancy is the RX for that...)
I was actually always calm and confident that I would get pregnant but here I am, 45, when the "experts" REALLY get nasty and pessimistic about your chances, and their words are creeping into my soul and kind of freaking me out.
I have an appointment with a fertility specialist on Monday but I don't know if I even want to go down that road of "ovarian reserve" and all that...I don't know if we would go "high tech" (though have absolutely NO JUDGEMENT about anyone else's choices!! Very personal and private decisions!) but then, years later, will I regret not being more "proactive," if you know what I mean, if I don't get pregnant "on my own." But then I see little babies and I think...maybe whatever the "cost..."
My husband doesn't feel emotionally equiped to adopt a baby though I would love to, that's not an option at this point.
I guess I am just wondering how different people come to different realizations about what is right for them and their families. I have to say I read the infertility boards and the treatments sound very daunting....yes, I want another child but I also need to be here, physically and mentally, for the one I have and it sounds like some of the drugs and procedures can do quite a number on a woman.

[BC-GoMom]

Boy Barby, that was quite as few loaded questions!

I am not quite sure how one decides.

We started IF tx when I was in my 20s so we slowly progressed to more intense tx...

I have to say without a question... they are worth every penny, shot, u/s, pain and heartache that I experienced doing IVFs.

My dh is 52 and I am 41 and 5yr ago after ds was born I KNEW I wanted to do another fresh IVF b/c we are older and I wanted ds to have a sibling... then we had dd and then a surprise dd. I would do it again.

I think if you have the financial means and the desire in your heart... do not let the "stuff" overwhelme you. You will never have another child and look over and say"honey, I relly wish we had stopped with one child , this 2nd child wasn't worth it" Well you might say that jokingly when thery are teenages but not in your heart.

Dh needs to be ready too, financially and emotionally. If you don't have that then it may not be worth it.

Best to you with your decision. You may want to post this question on the parenting after 35... there are a number of ladies having babies later in life like us.
JenC