Yes, I found myself 46 and single, and while I've been panicking for sometime now, it's really looking like all is lost. The harder I try to meet someone, it doesn't work or I'm forcing things unnaturally or totally not into someone, and when I don't try and live my life, nothing happens... Of course, I want the husband and father figure for a child, but I'm just getting older by the second and more depressed that I can barely just get to work and then I am an emotional wreck the rest of the time. People tell me to buy a dog, a cat, (a-holes), that kids are a pain, too much work for a single parent, the kid will hate me if I do donor, I should just give up and keep dating.... adopt... blah blah. I can't help it I want to try for my own.
I've found a great RE that would do the IUIs on me, I do have a low FSH (6) and good blood work in general. I ovulate normally. But, is there any chance an IUI with donor will work on me, or am I just wasting time? One RE said it will never work, in a million years (of course, he just wanted me to spend money on expensive donor eggs). My RE said it's possible but we'd have to be aggressive. I look at donors, and it makes me sad, and scared. My RE said invitro for me would be too little a chance for a medical procedure of that nature.
Are there human errors with these sperm banks? I know they test extensively, but has anyone had infections with donor sperm from major sperm banks? I just keep hesitating, thinking someone will pop into my life. But, the agony is I know it won't happen. And I could be childless, and spouseless down the road. Not fun, for me, at least.
If you have suggestions, answers, inspirations. Please private messenger me. I'm in the worse place in my life, and no matter what I achieve in other areas this is impossible, or seems to be. I think everyone has a right to be fruitful and multiply. I just can't calm down and I know that is natural and right. It's nature, telling me to get to it. I'm just lost.
If you know of anyone who has conceived naturally or with meds over 46, please let me know. Thanks again.
Results 1 to 10 of 13
01-07-2009, 04:38 PM #1
46! Single, Sad and Hopeless???
01-07-2009, 04:56 PM #2CrystalAZRegistered User Over 5,000 Posthas a status! Booyah!
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Post Thanks / Like
- Blog Entries
- My Mood
I know your desire and feel for you. PLENTY of single moms do a wonderful job raising children. Heck, look at FT's single parenting board - those ladies are awesome!
Being single is no reason not to follow your dream.
As far as your eggs vs. donor eggs, I guess that depends on your $ situation. Do you have enough to try a round or two with your own eggs before moving to donor eggs? Or is money a big issue? Also, is time a big issue? It is a couple months between cycles, so if you try with your eggs and fail, will waiting that much longer bother you?
I can tell you this though: I have an 18 month old son through donor eggs. It was the most WONDERFUL experience being pg with him. Yes, picking out a donor was weird. And knowing she was going through an egg retrieval while I was in the next room was weird. But, after that, those embryos were mine and I never looked back. I never think of him as anything but mine, and I do feel that I was meant to be his mommy. The funny thing is he DOES look like me, with his red hair and light eyes and skin. Nobody would ever guess he was from DE.
Anyway, you have to follow the path to your child. And only you know what feels right.
I hope you get your miracle soon.
01-08-2009, 12:03 AM #3BabyspiceRegistered Userhas no status.
There are so many options out there for all of us. It's just a matter of time. I know single mothers that are fantastic mothers. I know married mothers that are lousy mothers. IUI'S are a waste of time for 46 year olds but they cost less so perhaps try a few cuz your fsh is good but still egg quality is not. Here are some stories to cheer you up. Don't loose hope. I'm 44 and still trying for my first. You said if you do go with a DE, the child will hate you. That's not true and you also have the option not to tell them. Don't give up
My sil is pregnant naturally at age 45, my cousin just had her 10th at 46, my girlfirend had a baby at 45, my mother's friend had triplets at age 46, Abostick is pregnant at 44, Amanda had a baby girl at 45, Kat had twins at 44, Lauri had a baby at 45.....do I need to go further.....PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP
The link below has a ton of stories and I know some of them maybe hogwash but not all of them are.....cuz I wrote a few of them
Hugs to you
Last edited by Babyspice; 01-08-2009 at 12:05 AM.
01-08-2009, 08:15 PM #4BlakeyRegistered UserFeeling so grateful for our daughter
IsoBaby~ Big hugs to you Iso! I am sorry for how you are feeling! We are so blessed we have some many choices today to have our babies. I do agree with Babyspice that IUI's may be a waste of time, regardless of your awesome FSH, and other levels! It's not that it couldn't happen, but unfortunately, it is all about egg quality, and it becomes much harder to find that perfect egg! I am sure you still have some good ones =) -it's just how many cycles would you have to go through to find it! Weather it's with IUI, or IVF, your still taking lots of meds, and your body goes through a lot, emotionally and physically! Do you have Ins.coverage? Maybe you could look into some more aggressive treatment! Don't give up hon! If your desire is to have a baby, then you will find away to achieve your dream!! It sounds like you have a lot of love to give, and determination..so go for it! I know it's a little scary to think of other alternatives, but if your open to them, it may become a little bit easier for you, as you learn more about the process! I know for myself, I am approaching my very first donor cycle in the near future. After 4 cycles that failed, including a m/c with my own eggs. I was at such a crossroads, and feeling so confused, but knew I was always open to donor. When i started learning as much as i could about it, and talking to people who had gone through it, i felt inspired, and had renewed hope that my dream could come true! It's been tough financially, because we have payed for almost everything out of pocket, and we are praying our donor cycle will take, for it's out last shot! It is weird at first looking at donor profiles, etc..but then, you start to get excited, because you may click with someone that you feel comfortable with! I think Crystals story is so inspiring and heartfelt! Babyspice also offers much inspiration with her personal stories! I don't mean to sway you by anymeans, you need to follow your heart with this one, for it truly is a personal decision, and you need to do what makes you feel comfortable! I guess i just wanted to convery that their are options that will bring you closer into your journey! thinking of you...sending lots of comforting hugs! Best!
CrystalAz~ Your post made me smile! I love hearing stories like yours! I am so glad you got your little redhead! I am going to have my first donor cycle in the next couple of months! It took me about 6 months to make my transition, and I finally found my donor in November! We are just waiting now to find out when her screening will take place. I pray everyday this works!! I too, found a donor with redhair, light eyes, and fair skin! I love your story...it is truly heartwarming, and it's confirmation to me that I am definitely doing the right thing for me!! All the best to you and your beautiful baby! =)
Shauna~ Hi my friend! Thinking of you...and wishing you nothing but the best, in whatever you decide!! HUGS!
01-08-2009, 10:39 PM #5BabyspiceRegistered Userhas no status.
You're so sweet. I can't wait for you to be a mom. You'll be the best mom as I feel like your the mother of our little group here So thoughtful and caring. You're a true gem Kim and I wish you all the best and I just know your DE will work and I'm hoping for 2. I'm still on the fence as to what to do. I have zero plans at the moment. Hugs to you Kimmie
I got your PM. I'll PM you now.
01-08-2009, 10:59 PM #6BabyspiceRegistered Userhas no status.
I'm having issues with my PM box so I have to respond to you from here. Hope that's ok.
Okay so all of those gals I mentioned..you asked how they conceived and DH ages...here's the scoop
Sil was natural and her DH will be 50 next month
My cousin had her 10th at age 46 her DH is my mother's nephew. He will be 49 soon.
Amanda is from this site and she had a mini IVF at New Hope in New York. Had a baby girl. Kat did IVF with a DE from a relative. She had twins at 44. Lauri from this site and did IVF with her own eggs. Got pregnant first try,her DH is 59. My friend had her baby at almost 46 got pregnant a few months after she went off the pill. Her boyfriend was 47. This was her first and it was an oops! Triplets had to be DE but they're not telling.
I'm not sure about the sperm question. Fresh sperm is always best though. I always think about that man that got pregnant (the one that was on Oprah). He and his wife ordered donated sperm from the internet and they used a syringe from a pet store and inserted the sperm inside of him. Sounds strange but it worked 2 times They're expecting their second soon. I know every situation is different so you just have to explore options that will work for you.
I'm married but to be honest with you I feel quite alone throughout my TTC journey because my DH is not all that interested in having a child (he has a 20 year old already). I was engaged at 39 and married at age 40. Been TTC every since....thus far NADA...no luck 4 IUI's and one cancelled IVF...NOTHING!
Okay so sending you some hugs and please don't give up
What about donor embroys/snow babies??????
Last edited by Babyspice; 01-08-2009 at 11:06 PM.
01-09-2009, 06:35 AM #7
Thanks so much for taking the time to go over that with me.... I know it was a lot of typing. It does give me inspiration. But, in a few months I'll be 47, so of course I am freaking....
to say the least....
01-11-2009, 04:00 PM #8BlakeyRegistered UserFeeling so grateful for our daughter
Hi Shauna!! Big Hugs to you!! I know this road is just so tough. Your so sweet, thank you for your nice words!! I feel the same about you! It's okay if you don't have any plans right now. Just take this time for yourself! You've been through a lot, and it's emotinally as well as physcially draining! I hope whatever you decide, you will be happy! That's the important thing, to know in your heart your at peace with your decisions, whatever they may be! I am so glad I met you on the board! You are such a nice person, and I have enjoyed getting to know you! Hope to hear from you soon!! Thank you again for your awesome support, and please know we're always here for you!! XOXO
01-14-2009, 03:40 PM #9
Getting Pregnant With Your Own Eggs
Isobaby~ I hope u r feeling better. Your FSH number rocks!!
That's something to feel great about.
We have to move quickly. I wish I had a baby or gotten help sooner. A lot of Infertility Women fell this way. Oh well I/we can only move forward. I feel your pain and you are in the right place at Fertitle Thoughts.
I read all the Threads... so I can get information. I didn't know a lot about Infertility until I joined FT. It has been a Blessing!!!!
Keep reading all the THREADS & keep posting you'll learn a lot. I've learned a lot from the women at FT. They are strong women and work very hard to reach their goal of motherhood. It's not easy!! But the women at F.T. give me hope.
Pregnant at 45:
Somebody told me about a women/coworker getting pregnant at 45 naturally with her own eggs. She didn't want to be pregnant but she kept the baby.
The doctors were surprised and asked her did she use meds and she did not.
Please check out this site:http://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/...e_ovaries.html
Center For Human Reproductive, in New York & Illinois work with women over 40.
Also Dr. Gleicher is looking for patients over 45-46-47, etc. to help them get pregnant with THEIR OWN EGGS. He's in New York. He was on TV, I think it was CBS. You can Google him. He uses DHEA to help with egg growth with medicated cycles. He'll also talk to your RE and give them advice on DHEA to help you get pregnant, if u can't get to New York. But he'll try IVF on women over 45 in his RE clinic. DHEA helps with estrogen.
Pregnant at 47:
You have a better chance of getting pregnant b/c your FSH is low. I read a post about a women age 47 recently she got pregnant with IVF using her own eggs. She wanted to share her story. The RE told her it would never work but he'll try. She got pregnant the first time with IVF.
As a women gets older studies say that the shell around the egg/follice gets hard & that makes it harder for a women to get pregnant. The sperm can't get penetrate the shell. IVF w/ICIS can help with this problem.
So many women try IVF in their 20s & 30s and never get pregnant the first time.
If you try IUI try Estrogen Priming to help with eggs/follicles grow. My RE wanted to try estrogen priming on my next IUI. I'm moving onto IVF, don't want to waste any more time. Trying with my own eggs.
Pregnant at 52:
Last year I saw a TV news story of about a women age 52 & she got pregnant with IVF using her own eggs. She went out of the country & got pregnant on the first try. I was shocked when I was this story. The doctors said she got a Gift from God. Also she said deep in her hear she always felt she was going to be a mom & didn't give up. However she almost gave up. Wow 52!! We don't want to wait that long but that's still Awesome.
Fertility & Conception, by Zita West.
Good book, IVF and Protocol info in book. Cost $15.00 at bookstore.
Fertitle Thoughts Threads Check Out:
1.) Thread... High FSH & Premature Ovarian Failure & Read the Post about Successful Protocols.
2.) Thread... Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).
I hang out mostly at the IUI Thread. The Miracles Thread. Ex. January Miracles, Feb. Miracles, It changes to a monthly thread.
If you have QUESTIONS about IUIs this is the Thread...
I hope I was not too long winded. Just wanted to help. Doctors should give women more information about Fertility, Infertility & FSH while we are younger during Annual Physicals. Somebody told me if they did then we wouldn't need so many REs.
See you on the IUI Thread.
GL!! Good Luck, Babyblessing.
01-31-2009, 11:42 PM #10sunny-dayRegistered Userhas no status.
Woman Preg at 48
Here's a nice story to give some encouragement!
DISCLAIMER: Fertile Thoughts allows advertisers to publish information about their services. Fertile Thoughts does not provide medical advice or endorse any particular service or approach to treating infertility. We encourage people to learn as much as possible about the range of options available before committing to any one. We also encourage users to share their thoughts on all fertility options on our forums.