Ok I'm ready (sort of)

[soultea]

Robin, good luck with the call today. Can't wait to hear your news.

[soultea]

When will she call or you call her? I am so excited to hear about the call.

[Gigih]

Robin, so much has happened his week and it is only Wednesday! Have you talked to the PBmom yet? I know it is scary putting yourself out there emotionally and financially, but think about the wonderful outcome, a beautiful baby girl or boy to bring home.

My DH and I decided on adoption the moment we got the call that none of my eggs fertilized with my last IVF. Right now we are filling out the paperwork for the home study and ordering the birth certificates and marriage license. We hope to have our orientation for the home study the first week of May when I get back from vacation. We will have our interviews within eight weeks from then and should be certified within another four to eight weeks.

We are going to adopt domestic. DH is caucasian and I am African-American, so we plan to adopt a bi-racial child. Right now I am still doing research to determine if we shoud adopt private or go through an agency. Because we both work and have good income, an agency will be very expensive for us, even with a bi-racial adoption. We can afford it, but do not want to, if you know what I mean. $20-$26K would do much more good going into a college fund rather than the adoption.

I am very nervious, excited, anxious, stressed, etc. about adoption. I think I will be okay if the mom wants to maintain contact, but hope that she will not want to. My biggest concern is a mom who changes her mind, so I definately understand your hesitation. For me, it is a risk I am willing to take. I cannot be to much more difficult that all the BFNs over the past six years!

I can't wait to hear how things went with your call. Good luck! We will definately have to continue to cheer each other on.

Gigi

[romake]

I talked to her. She seemed very excited and told me that she was happy that she could do this for us and that she knows the child will be with good people. Her sister had told her about all the conversations we have had and she feels very comfortable with us. She has agreed to the sweat patch and to the umbilical cord testing. Staying clean is going to be hard for her but she really wants to do it because she is starting to feel the baby. So I now have my mom helping checking her in to a long term hotel which we can pay on a weekly basis depending on her sweat patch results. So it looks like we are going through with this. I called the lawyer in Vegas (yes there are two lawyers involved) and I have an appointment May 9th.


Ok Robyn I am following my heart.

Gigi- We have the same concern about the bmom and the reaction about the $. I think I'll be nervous about the bmom backing out until she signs the papers. I'm very excited to see that I'm not the only one that is excited, worried and stressed.

[Gigih]

Robin this is such good news. I think you are doing the right thing, following your heart. The fact that the mother is determined to try to stay clean is a great sign. I hope she is able to keep her promise both for herself, the baby and for you and your DH. Keep us posted!

Gigi

[sue in CA]

Sorry to be barging but wanted to wish you the best as you begin this leap of faith on your journey to being a parent.
Just a few words of advice to use or not!
Check into adoption insurance-your attorney will know if it is still available. If it is available, you can estimate how much your expenses will be and take out a policy that matches. It only applies to fees accrued after you have taken out the policy, so check it out ASAP. We, unfortunately had to use our policy on one adoption attempt and we got back most of the birthmother expenses which allowed us to try again.

Monies paid to cover birthmother expenses should go through an escrow account set up by your attorney. If your attorney advises you to pay directly, ask for details about what is legal, how to handle bills, etc so everything is A-OK when the court reviews the paperwork for finalization.

You might consider allowing local calls only on her phone and giving her a prepaid calling card for long distance. We learned the hard way about what a bored p-birthmother can do with unlimited long distance access.

Hope all goes well with this adoption and Korea too if you continue with that.

[lleva99]

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck. It's definately a roller coaster ride and it seems like so long to wait. Our dd bmom was in jail when we met her at the beginning of April 2004, Emma was born Sept. 4th so it seemed like such a long wait. Her bmom did drugs, smoked and drank until she found out she was pregnant and Emma is absolutely fine, actually pretty advanced for her age. It's great that pbmom is on board with the sweat patch and the cord testing. It sounds like things are going well. Great advice, too, from Sue about the adoption insurance. Unfortunately, here in IL we don't have it but if you can get it, go for it. We are on the annoyingly long and emotional roller coaster called the waiting game.

Emma's adoption was much like yours will be, met bmom through a friend of a friend and it all worked out beautifully. This time we're doing the agency thing and it's such a different road. With Emma we knew she was on the way, we were matched and just waiting for her arrival. I'm so ready to be in that stage again instead of this waiting to be matched.

Well, just wanted to say congrats and good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Hopefully we all have our babies home before we know it!

[soultea]

Robin, I am glad the call went good. I am excited for you and Scott. I hope the rest of the adoption process goes smoothly. I can't believe you will be holding a baby in your arms in August.

[RedbirdJ]

Hi Robin, will write more later when I have time but I have been following your updates!!!!!!

[romake]

Thanks everyone for going through this with me. We can use our attorney's account for a cost of about $600. She told us that we can do it ourselves and I think we are going to try. That is $600.00 that we can use for the sweat patches which I ordered today. I can't get the patch to her for another 5 days so I'm praying that she will have the well power for a week. I'm still in a daze and don't want to get to excited yet. When do you get to relax and let yourself feel the joy of becoming a parent?