Forum: Living With Loss Through The Years

I can't believe it has been 10 years......

Hi Everyone I know I don't post often, but I just felt the need to post this somewhere. Two years ago today a very special man was taken from this earth. My dh's best friend of 30+ years. He was taken far too soon in a motorcycle accident. There is not a day that we don't think of him....In...

10 years ago, I delivered my babies... its been so long... but everyday I can still see their faces... Savannah (1lb, 7oz) lived 13 days... Khyler (1lb, 12oz) lived 15 days... Sabrina (1lb, 7oz) is now 10... its so hard, not a day goes by that I don't think of these babies...

Last night I learned that a friend is pg with #3. #1 was conceived within 6 weeks of Hannah, Ryan and Abby's births/deaths. #2 was the first attempt of a planned 2nd. #3 is a complete surprise/accident. They are scared but thrilled. Did I feel joy? elation? Excitement? no. I felt resentment,...

From the movie "I've Loved You So Long" - "the worst prison is the death of a child - you never get out of it."

Anyone remember compiling lists of the stupid(est) things the DHACs say to you?? One of mine was "I really know how you must have felt since my dog died......." :( My friend who said that............her 6yr old son died last week............. Meningitis. I feel sick/have hardly slept/can't...

This is so stupid but apparently, its still bothering me because here I am, a day later, still thinking about it and now posting about it. I haven't been this knocked for a loop over something in a while. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but it has so I might as well share it, get it out and...

Need the insight only you wise women can give me. I don't know that it will change anything but I need to bounce it off people who "get it". I am having breast reduction surgery. IT has been difficult to get the appointment made due to my schedule and the doc's schedule. They only do...

We moved, and it's taken awhile, but I've found a new gynocologist. They mailed me all the new patient paperwork to fill out ahead of time. I glanced at it, but ignored it until about 20 minutes before I had to leave for the appointment. All the expected stuff about emergency contacts,...

I caught a few minutes of a BBC Radio programme (Womans Hour) in the car yesterday morning. A much loved writer/actress/comidienne (Maureen Lipman) was being interviewed and they asked her how she was - really - since her husband (also a writer - Jack Rosenthal) died in May 2004. She replied,...

I had to look up the phrase 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' because that's what I thought was the term you used when you were waiting for something bad to happen. Turns out it means that you await an event that is expected to happen...well...funny enough, I guess that fits too. See, I realise...

It's been almost 6 years now. I miss them today. Badly.

I don't know why. Nothing shocked me, caught me off gaurd, surprised me. I did not get blindsided or smacked across the face in any way related to Hannah, Ryan and Abby. It was a completely non-eventful day that way. But I felt like I was in a funk all day. R is always out on Friday nights and I...

Can't sleep - various reasons - up - searching - looking for A particular self-help book I can't get out of my head but can't remember the title. Went to Amazon to search - and realised you can search past orders in year order............. :( Ordered 3 Dec 1999 What to Expect in the First...

Well I nearly fell off my chair the other day when I realised that was FIVE YEARS ago!!!!! bugeyes It was the 9th of January again, you see.......my horrible "bookend" date - my first m/c was on 9th Jan 1998 and the last one was on 9th Jan 2004. I was also STUNNED to realise that my horrific...

NO ONE called to remember my girls 4th birthday today. Not my mother, not my former MIL, no one. I hate to think that they don't remember, but to think that it's better NOT to call and acknowledge this day? Do they think I forgot, and their call will be the only thing that reminds me? My former...

Walked out of the powder room tonight- with ipod going in my ears. As you walk out of the powder room you can see through the french door to the back porch that leads to the back yard. Our "snowflakes" - 3 that represent the triplets are in the back yard. Hadn't noticed yet ( been up for about...

It's been years since I have been here but Jacob's birthday is coming up and for some reason it's a little harder this year. I found him on the list of babies and it was nice to see his name and mine after all these years. It's rare that someone in my life mentions him, especially by name. I...

Not one. None. Zip. No one called, no one remembered. 4 GD years. 4 lousy stinking years. And not one family member could pull their head out to remember her. Eff them all. Well, at least I'm more angry than sad, huh?

5 years. I have sort of been avoiding the loss board the past few weeks. Is it because I want to pretend I don't belong here? I don't know. But today marks 5 years that my firstborn son entered the world. I had already loved and held Hannah and let her go. Now I was doing the same thing with...

Christine, I just read that you are back in the states now (not sure for how long or if permanently) but is anyone in London now? I will be there in December and would love to meet with some of the mommies from this board if anyone is still there?

I want to make a post secret that says: I'm really down and unsure of how to get out of it. It always revolves around this time of year and I feel helpless to fight it. I'm tired of being down. I'm tired of missing her. I'm tired of having a daughter who is dead instead of here with me....

I am going to be in Texas at the end of Sept to the middle of October. I spoke to my MIL the other night and mentioned I was going to be in town and would like to see them and asked about a birthday party for a nephew I haven't even met yet. It hit me as I asked that he was born on 15 Oct. His...