Hi everyone. I'm new here.

southernbelle1 · 03-24-2009, 11:02 AM

I'm new to this and don't know all of the terminology yet, but my husband and I have been ttc for about a year and a half. I am 38 years old and my dh is 44. We went to see an RE for the first time about a month and a half ago and found out that my husband has a low count, low motility and almost no regularly shaped sperm. Aside from the fact that I had an ectopic about 10 years ago (from my 1st marriage), my numbers all looked good (low FSH / high Progesterone) and the HSG was clear.

We did our first round of Clomid followed by the injection to stimulate ovulation (can't remember the name) since the vaginal ultrasound showed 2 eggs. I had the IUI as planned on March 14th and we are now waiting to see if it worked. Yesterday was supposed to be day 1 of my period and nothing so far. I'm not letting myself get too excited because I've read some sad stories about IUI's and IVF's not working and it breaks my heart. Not to mention the fact that there were about 10 babies born in my office over the past 6 months and everyone seems to want to discuss it with me. I try to ignore it, but it gets difficult.

The dr.'s office said to call by the 29th or 30th and I guess if I don't get my period by then, that could be a good sign. I have had little twinges the past couple of days and it feels like AF could be coming so I'm sure she's on her way. I really hope we get some good news soon because adoption is probably our next stop because IVF is SO expensive and we can't afford it. Not to mention the fact that my husband is in the Military and was recently laid off his civilian job. We might be able to afford one more round of IUI, but that is still questionable. Sadly enough, I am getting cynical because we've been trying and with our ages, I feel that it might be too late for us to conceive at all.

Thank you for listening.

CrystalAZ · 03-24-2009, 11:45 AM

Welcome to FT. I am sorry you need it.

(pg/child mentioned briefly below)

Firstly, hopefully the IUI worked. Twinges like AF can be a good sign, because implantation can feel like that too. And even if you get a little spotting, that can be a good sign. I hope it worked for you and you don't have to go any further.

If it didn't, don't give up. I had my son at 39 with the help of donor eggs. My need for donor eggs wasn't due to my age, but due to a physical problem I have that makes IVF with my eggs impossible.

There are many options for you to explore.

1. Adoption. As you mentioned, adoption is definitely a valid path to motherhood. It wasn't for me, as experiencing pregnancy and childbirth was very important to me. Every person needs to make the choice that is best for them. Costs can vary GREATLY. It can be much more expensive than IVF. Or, if you do foster-to-adopt, it can be almost nothing. But adoption isn't my area of expertise, so if you want more info, you can check the adoption boards here at FT. Lots of great ladies there!

2. Continue trying IUIs. I would say MOST people that do IUI have to go through multiple cycles before success. If you have low FSH like you said, there is no reason you can't get pg with IUIs.

3. Donor egg IVF. Takes away the age risks. BUT - it is really pricey. The cycle that resulted in my son cost about $26k including the fresh cycle (that didn't work) and the frozen cycle (that resulted in my son).

4. Donor embryo IVF. Much less expensive than donor eggs or IVF using your own eggs. The downside is there is no genetic link to you or your DH. But it costs about the same as an FET (frozen embryo transfer) which is $4-$5K. And you get to go through pregnancy and birth.

5. Try clomid on its own. Since your HSG was clear and your FSH low, why not just do some rounds of clomid and time your sex around ovulation time? Even if the odds aren't great with your DH's sperm, this is a REALLY cheap way to keep trying. We did this for 8 months before I even found out my tubes were blocked and it was a waste of time for us. LOL. For you, even if it doesn't work, it buys you some time to save money and/or make a different plan.

6. Talk to your RE about their financing plans. Just about all of them will work with you to finance your treatments. After your DH resolves his job situation, of course.

Don't ever give up on your dream. Age is just a number, and there are MANY paths to being a mother. And I always say, the baby that is meant to be yours WILL find its way to you. Research all the options and go forward with the one that feels "right" to you in your heart. Know that your baby is out there waiting - and hopefully that keeps you focused on your mission. This is no time to be cynical. This is time to stand up and fight for what you want.

Good luck to you. I hope you get a + on this cycle and you get to move on over to the pregnancy boards without even doing anything else. But if you don't, know that the fight only makes success that much sweeter.

Crystal

southernbelle1 · 03-24-2009, 04:09 PM

Thank you VERY much for your kind words and extremely helpful suggestions. This gives me new hope because I was getting extremely discouraged but knowing we have at least a few additional options to try is great. Again thank you, thank you, thank you.

**BC-Cel** · 03-24-2009, 06:17 PM

Hello and welcome!

It's so hard to deal with IF issues and be around people who are pg. And it's tough at work, because you just can't really get away from it. I think you'll find good support at FT, especially when you just need to vent!

I know age is a concern (I was over 35 when I first started ttc). Don't let the deter you, it is possible! And as Crystal mentioned, there are many way to become a mom. If your numbers are good, perhaps donor sperm is an option too. Remember, chronological age isn't the determining factor!

Here are some boards on the site you might want to visit:

New Users
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...ad.php?t=629575

IUI
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=30

General IF
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=14

Male Factor
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=33

Over 35
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/foru...splay.php?f=36

We also have adoption and donor boards, if you decide to explore some of those options.

Please feel free to ask questions! You're not alone on this journey, there are so many great ladies on this site! Best of luck with your cycle. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

**BC-Cel** · 03-25-2009, 07:19 PM

Oops, forgot to add this link too!

Military Issues
http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/foru...splay.php?f=34

03-24-2009, 11:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
southernbelle1 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 3	Hi everyone. I'm new here. I'm new to this and don't know all of the terminology yet, but my husband and I have been ttc for about a year and a half. I am 38 years old and my dh is 44. We went to see an RE for the first time about a month and a half ago and found out that my husband has a low count, low motility and almost no regularly shaped sperm. Aside from the fact that I had an ectopic about 10 years ago (from my 1st marriage), my numbers all looked good (low FSH / high Progesterone) and the HSG was clear. We did our first round of Clomid followed by the injection to stimulate ovulation (can't remember the name) since the vaginal ultrasound showed 2 eggs. I had the IUI as planned on March 14th and we are now waiting to see if it worked. Yesterday was supposed to be day 1 of my period and nothing so far. I'm not letting myself get too excited because I've read some sad stories about IUI's and IVF's not working and it breaks my heart. Not to mention the fact that there were about 10 babies born in my office over the past 6 months and everyone seems to want to discuss it with me. I try to ignore it, but it gets difficult. The dr.'s office said to call by the 29th or 30th and I guess if I don't get my period by then, that could be a good sign. I have had little twinges the past couple of days and it feels like AF could be coming so I'm sure she's on her way. I really hope we get some good news soon because adoption is probably our next stop because IVF is SO expensive and we can't afford it. Not to mention the fact that my husband is in the Military and was recently laid off his civilian job. We might be able to afford one more round of IUI, but that is still questionable. Sadly enough, I am getting cynical because we've been trying and with our ages, I feel that it might be too late for us to conceive at all. Thank you for listening.

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03-24-2009, 11:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
CrystalAZ 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ & Flagstaff, AZ Posts: 11,700 Blog Entries: 481	Welcome to FT. I am sorry you need it. (pg/child mentioned briefly below) Firstly, hopefully the IUI worked. Twinges like AF can be a good sign, because implantation can feel like that too. And even if you get a little spotting, that can be a good sign. I hope it worked for you and you don't have to go any further. If it didn't, don't give up. I had my son at 39 with the help of donor eggs. My need for donor eggs wasn't due to my age, but due to a physical problem I have that makes IVF with my eggs impossible. There are many options for you to explore. 1. Adoption. As you mentioned, adoption is definitely a valid path to motherhood. It wasn't for me, as experiencing pregnancy and childbirth was very important to me. Every person needs to make the choice that is best for them. Costs can vary GREATLY. It can be much more expensive than IVF. Or, if you do foster-to-adopt, it can be almost nothing. But adoption isn't my area of expertise, so if you want more info, you can check the adoption boards here at FT. Lots of great ladies there! 2. Continue trying IUIs. I would say MOST people that do IUI have to go through multiple cycles before success. If you have low FSH like you said, there is no reason you can't get pg with IUIs. 3. Donor egg IVF. Takes away the age risks. BUT - it is really pricey. The cycle that resulted in my son cost about $26k including the fresh cycle (that didn't work) and the frozen cycle (that resulted in my son). 4. Donor embryo IVF. Much less expensive than donor eggs or IVF using your own eggs. The downside is there is no genetic link to you or your DH. But it costs about the same as an FET (frozen embryo transfer) which is $4-$5K. And you get to go through pregnancy and birth. 5. Try clomid on its own. Since your HSG was clear and your FSH low, why not just do some rounds of clomid and time your sex around ovulation time? Even if the odds aren't great with your DH's sperm, this is a REALLY cheap way to keep trying. We did this for 8 months before I even found out my tubes were blocked and it was a waste of time for us. LOL. For you, even if it doesn't work, it buys you some time to save money and/or make a different plan. 6. Talk to your RE about their financing plans. Just about all of them will work with you to finance your treatments. After your DH resolves his job situation, of course. Don't ever give up on your dream. Age is just a number, and there are MANY paths to being a mother. And I always say, the baby that is meant to be yours WILL find its way to you. Research all the options and go forward with the one that feels "right" to you in your heart. Know that your baby is out there waiting - and hopefully that keeps you focused on your mission. This is no time to be cynical. This is time to stand up and fight for what you want. Good luck to you. I hope you get a + on this cycle and you get to move on over to the pregnancy boards without even doing anything else. But if you don't, know that the fight only makes success that much sweeter. Crystal

03-24-2009, 04:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
southernbelle1 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 3	Thank you VERY much for your kind words and extremely helpful suggestions. This gives me new hope because I was getting extremely discouraged but knowing we have at least a few additional options to try is great. Again thank you, thank you, thank you.

03-24-2009, 06:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
BC-Cel BC Just Starting & Allergies Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago area Posts: 2,588	Hello and welcome! It's so hard to deal with IF issues and be around people who are pg. And it's tough at work, because you just can't really get away from it. I think you'll find good support at FT, especially when you just need to vent! I know age is a concern (I was over 35 when I first started ttc). Don't let the deter you, it is possible! And as Crystal mentioned, there are many way to become a mom. If your numbers are good, perhaps donor sperm is an option too. Remember, chronological age isn't the determining factor! Here are some boards on the site you might want to visit: New Users http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...ad.php?t=629575 IUI http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=30 General IF http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=14 Male Factor http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/for...isplay.php?f=33 Over 35 http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/foru...splay.php?f=36 We also have adoption and donor boards, if you decide to explore some of those options. Please feel free to ask questions! You're not alone on this journey, there are so many great ladies on this site! Best of luck with your cycle. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

03-25-2009, 07:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
BC-Cel BC Just Starting & Allergies Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Chicago area Posts: 2,588	Oops, forgot to add this link too! Military Issues http://www3.fertilethoughts.com/foru...splay.php?f=34