need baby shower advice

[BC-Ashlee5455]

ok I need your ladies advice-- me & DH have been arguing over this lately and it has seen to cause some riffs (am i using the right word) within DH's family.

My sister is throwing me a baby shower on May 2nd, and she took care of the guest list as far as my side of the family. I have a lot of aunts between my dad and mom's side of the family, and lots of girl cousins who will be invited. She asked me who all I wanted invited as far as my DH's side of the family, and I told her just the grandmas, his sister, his mom, and his dad's fiance. There is just not enough room for tons of people at the church social hall where the baby shower will be. DH's side of the family is just as large as mine and the shower would just start to get too big for the facility. All the showers I have ever been to in my life have been small, low key events and I know that isn't the case for all though. DH's mom seemed upset when he told her that her side of the family wouldn't be invited, and so now he is upset about it too. I don't know what to do here because it is a no-win situation. The invites were already all sent out.

Just looking for some advice & just curious if thats horrible baby shower equitte to not invite everyone on all sides of the family. DH thought even people from his work should be invited-- I don't even know them that well and from what I'm seen other people do, if work people want to have a baby shower they do one seperate from the family one.

Just looking for some input! Thanks ladies.

[fetch]

I agree that co-workers tend to through a separate shower.
I don't think anyone at work would be torn up about not being invited as I don't think showers are for everyone. I myself don't like them, but I'm having one! ahhh.

With that said, I can relate to your dilemma about not pleasing everyone.
I opted to have immediate family and a few close friends and that was it.
We're Catholic, so when it's time to baptize the baby, we'll be having a full blown party where extended family will be invited and then, they can meet the baby too.

Why not just tell your dh that it'll probably be more interesting for the extended side of the family to actually "meet" the baby after it's born, rather than trying to please everyone. Again, baby showers are not for everyone anyway. I don't think you'll be offending EVERYONE. Some people might be glad to not have to go. Does that sound bad? I'm not saying anything about you at all, I'm saying in general they're usually not that fun for a lot of people.

[DMS721]

Definately keep a co-workers one separate.

If DH's side of the family is so worried about a shower, then they can throw you one too. There is no rule that says only one side of the family can have one.

My DH's family is having a small one for me, his side of the family, and a few of my friends. My mom and sister will be flying in for it. I won't get to have one for my side of the family, as I'm not allowed to fly right now, and all of my family lives in Illinois, which is why my mom and sister are flying in. I'll also be having a shower from my co-workers as well, but that one isn't until June (and hopefully I make it that long lol).

Dawn

[BC-Ashlee5455]

Thanks for your replies ladies. Those were my thoughts too that if they wanted to have a shower for me then they'd throw one..I can't please everyone I know but I don't like DH's mom upset about this..

[sunshine813]

We're pretty much doing separate showers too. My side of the family is throwing me a shower and then DH's Mom is throwing me a shower for their side of the family and then my BF is throwing me a shower for friends. I think it's better to keep them separate too because it lets them be smaller where you can actually talk to people. I went to a shower about a month ago where there were like 45 people and it was just too big.

Hope it all works out for you.

[BC-Ashlee5455]

Thanks Lisa,
I had always thought that the husband's side of the family threw one if they wanted you to have one, so thats why I wasn't so worried when I told my sister to only invite a few people from DH's side. However, MIL must not feel the same way. ugh.