Wintergirl (Cari) what are you doing about Christmas?

[SomedayMommy]

Did you decide to travel? Or are you staying home?

[Julie2002]

I'm glad you posted this! I was wondering the same thing. Details!

[maven]

me too. wondering what you decided to do.

[wintergirl]

We're staying home, not because of me being pregnant but because we just can't afford a vacation right now. DH works as a financial advisor for a major firm and his income is in the toilet from the stock market crash. We've been living off of savings the past few months just to pay basic bills like mortgage and his child support (which is still set at $1500/month even though that's now often more than he takes home, and the ex wife is going livid in court demanding more $$$ even though she's a multi millionaire. She's going crazy that DH's support was just lowered $500/month from $2000 to $1500 for one kid who doesn't even speak to him, so she's fighting him tooth & nail in court but the reality is his support should be more like $500 not $1500), so we just have no business going anywhere that will cost money.... We're not even buying Christmas gifts for his family or each other. Thank God my parents have been helping out with furniture and essentials for the baby or I don't know what we'd be doing. I need to get a job and help out but it would have to be something that pays a lot more than infant daycare would cost. Substitute teaching (what I was doing before) wouldn't even cover that.

I flew this past wkend down to southern Calif for a family celebration and everything was fine (at 35 wks). My OB said she would have approved me flying 2 hours to Seattle at 37 wks for Christmas if I wanted to go but I can't always have everything I want. At least this year I'm getting a BABY which is WAY better than a trip!!

[SomedayMommy]

Aaaaw, I'm so sorry that times have gotten so rough!! Your DH must be on some sort of commission or percentage. I hate to see what this economy has done to people.

[wintergirl]

Aaaaw, I'm so sorry that times have gotten so rough!! Your DH must be on some sort of commission or percentage. I hate to see what this economy has done to people.

Yeah he gets paid almost 100% commission according to how much his clients make, most of it based on the stock market. He pulled all his client's money out of the stock market when it crashed & put them into CD's which he only gets pennies for (but he didn't want them to lose everything), so even if the stock market recovers he's still locked into almost zero commission for the next 1-3 years with the CD's.

It wouldn't be so bad if his ex wife wasn't dragging him into court for more money. She claims that he purposely lowered his income to get out of paying as much in child support... like he would purposely sacrifice $10,000/month to save $500/mo in support... right. She's a hateful nut who he left 15 years ago for her anger & violence and she's been taking him to court ever since. We only met 3 yrs ago but you'd think he left her for me she is so jealous & obsessed over me. (They were only married & living together for a year and she's cost DH over $400K in legal bills) She is totally freaking out that I'm having his baby too, since now she won't have the claim to fame of having his only child She's got one of those dangerous Borderline/Narcissistic personality disorders and we've been warned to be aware of our surroundings because she is a violent nut. I try not to get upset about her because I don't want to put negative hormones on the baby.

So you gals who are hurting physically & feeling crummy right now, Count Your Lucky Stars that there is no psychotic ex wife in the picture!!!

[SC-Sherb]

**barge**

wintergirl, I'm sorry that you are dealing with someone like that. My BIL is in the same situation. His ex-wife is a borderline nutcase. He pays almost $500 a mth for his son plus she wants him to pay for any extra curricular activities, clothing, anything that she can think of all the while she makes more money than him, has her own condo and goes on vacation more than 3 times a year to somewhere nice and warm. And she puts all kinds of negative things in their son's head. He has been dating this lovely girl for about 2 years now and they've been broken up for 4 and she hates her all the while his new gf has never done or said anything bad about her. She hasn't even met her.

Anyways, I wish you a very merry christmas and lots of positive thoughts for your new baby.

[wintergirl]

She hasn't even met her.

I've never met DH's ex either, but she spent 9 months sending me hate emails saying she'd hunt me down and find me wherever I was and make sure I never worked as a teacher again.... This was when I told the child's attorney (made up a story that) I divorced DH in an attempt to get the X to leave me alone but she only went after me worse.

You should show your BIL & his GF "The Betty Broderick Story," a true story that got made into a movie. it's an eye opener for sure.

I'm so glad that come January DH will have HIS OWN family and not have to cry about the ex alienating his only child from him! His daughter, almost 16, hasn't spoken to him in 3 yrs except thru negative court negotiations. I'm also hoping that once the baby is born DH won't focus so much energy into these court battles with the ex... the past week we've both been up half the night writing court declarations for when she takes him back to court for more money next month. (We let his lawyer go b/c we could no longer afford him).

Your BIL is REALLY lucky he only has to pay $500/mo!!! We would give almost anything for that!!!! But CA has the highest support in the nation. If we were in Oregon we'd only be paying about $500/mo also. DH only took home $911 for the entire month of December yet has to pay $1500 in child support... go figure. Lucky he has some $$ saved or we'd lose the house. We can't wait to get out of CA where the courts are so against fathers...

[bellastar]

OMGoodness that is WAY too much. We are also in So Cal (ventura County) and my DH has to pay $750 for 2 children. Given his ex-wife makes way more than both of us together. I think when you go back in a month the courts should/would decrease it even more if you disclose the little money DH has been able to bring in. However, they will also look at what you are making. And then think you only have 2 more years left until she is 18. One of my DSD is turning 18 in March and we can't wait for the extra relief that the decreased child support will bring us. I can not imagine $1500...that is just insane.

[SomedayMommy]

OMG, Cari! B*tch reminds me of Judith on Two and a Half Men!!! Gimme Gimme Gimme.

Hey, let her take him to court! He can take his receipts, and maybe they will even LOWER the child support! Isn't that possible?