Tantrums and stubbornness!

[kellbell]

I think I've mentioned that Claire is a very strong willled child, but lately things have really been escalating. If I tell her "no" to something, she will throw whatever she happens to have in her hands at the time or will try to hit me. We are doing time outs in the pack n play for that when we are home. But the stubbornness is really driving me crazy. Today at lunch time she didn't want to get in her high chair and fought me literally kicking and screaming when I picked her up and tried to put her in the chair. So after several attempts at this, she went down for a nap without lunch. Then after her nap, I went upstairs to get her and I've been trying to not carry her down the stairs because I'm having a lot of leg pain already with this pg, and she can come down the stairs by herself either holding onto the rail or going down on her tummy. Well, she wanted me to carry her and stood at the top of the stairs for 40 whole minutes protesting and screaming. She even went into her bedroom and repeatedly slammed her door! I went downstairs and figured she's come down whenever she got over her little fit, but after 40 minutes I did go up and get her. She is so strong willed and I am at a loss on how to handle it. Anyone have any advice for me?

[Pug Girl]

were Peyton and Claire separated at birth? Peyton is very strong willed and has had some tantrums like you have described. We do time outs also. What is crazy is at daycare she will stand in the corner with her hands behind her back until she is told to come out. At home, time outs are a fight!!! We have held her kicking and screaming in the corner quite a few times. The throwing things is big thing we are trying to curb also.

I have been reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block and it has some interesting theories and ideas on how to handle tantrums. I know someone who swears by the methods in that book. Peyton is a good kiddo who is smarter than heck. I think the smarts has a lot to do with the tantrums and the inability to communicate as well as she would want to. We just want an obedient child. Our daycare provider uses the theories in Growing Kids God's Way. She also wants obedience.

I would say 90% of the day Peyton is well behaved...but the other 10% of the time are some doozies! Good luck. I wish I had better suggestions. We found compromising on our terms to help. Peyton hates her high chair so now she sits in the big girl chairs...with our rules. We quit fighting her in the morning with our showers. She loves the shower and sits in it while I take a shower. Whatever. When I quit butting heads too often things calmed down some. Some of these thoughts come from Love and Logic. I use Love and Logic in the classroom and apply some of the theories with parenting.

[yoyo930]

Madisyn is the same way....We have taken her pacifier away from her except for nap and bedtime, so she has been doing alot of this in the last week. I agree with Puggirl: 90% of the time she is good, but man when she don't get her way watch out she turns into a crazy woman and throws herself on the floor screaming. we have learned to just ignore her and let her scream or put her on the couch in time out, but she has never screamed for 40min. I guess its just the age they are at. All people keep telling me is stick to your guns and don't back down. I know that doesn't help much

[kellbell]

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad I don't have the only difficult child. My friends kids seem so obedient and easy going. I feel like such a failure as a parent sometimes. I know if I stick to my guns and don't give in, it will pay off in the long run. It's just so hard to listening to all the screaming........

[Pug Girl]

Kell-no one believes me when I say Peyton has the devil side to her. She saves it up for us. When she is at daycare she is obedient, when my sister watches her, she listens...at home...whole other story. She is so headstrong. Peyton knows what she wants and will throw the biggest fits until she gets her way. Luckily, these tantrums aren't all day long. But I know your pain when you say you see other well behaved kids.

I would suggest looking at the book The Happiest Toddler on the Block. It has some odd theories, but it addresses the Spirited Child (what we have!) and how to handle the tantrums. I have just started reading it and I am not too sure how much of it I am planning on using, but it is nice to know that there are enough people out there that their type of behavior is addressed in a book!

Big hugs. I am with you on not backing down! Stick to your guns. I hate doing it, but we have been, too. I especially hate it at dinner time!! Why can't the kiddo sit and eat?

[Kirbyluv]

I think a lot of it has to do with the age they are right now. It's frustrating not to be able to communicate what you want or not get it when you want it. It will get better. My older dd is spirited and still has the occasional tantrum every now and then, but I remember thinking age 18 mos-2 were the hardest. Hang in there, everyone! You are all great moms so just be consistent and eventually the message will get through. We're dealing with hitting at our house so I completely feel your pain!

[Ziggy 64]

I can relate to you. yes, we go through that too. esp getting in the car seat and sitting down so I can buckle him in. sometimes he's good and others.....well lets say I've found more grey hair!