Looking for some hope

[ceb85]

Hello,
I'm new here, I've posted on a different board but I think this is where maybe I should be. I had my second IVF (FET) this past Wednesday. My first IVF resulted in a chemical pregnancy and it was a nightmare. I had very low beta and was getting blood drawn every other day for 2 weeks. Every other time I'd be told they felt this could be a successful pregnancy and then the next time I was told they weren't hopeful. It was terrible.
Anyway, this past time we transferred 3 thawed embryos at a 3 day transfer, but I couldn't get the lab tech to really give me a grading on them. At first he sounded very discouraging about it and when I said something he then tried to make things sound better. So DH and I were sort of confused., DH thinks the guy just isn't very well with communicating with people. We had 1 10 cell embryo with little to no fragments but the cells were slightly uneven. The other 2 were I believe he said 6 and 8 cell with slight fragmentation. He said on a scale of 1 to 5 they were somewhere in the middle and wouldn't give me specifics. He said he's seen worse embryos go on to be a positive pregnancy. And he also said that the grading scale really doesn't always say very much on what could happen.
Any thoughts on this? I'm so scared of another BFN. We've been through so much between having a twin m/c, chemical pregnancies and all the BFN's.
Thanks,

[WhitneyAtFertilityAuthority]

Ceb85, Welcome to these boards. I know many more will weigh in here with information and support for you. In the "MEAN TIME" which is always the two week wait, it's really important to try, just try to relax and settle into the fact that you have much to be hopeful for and if you can trust in your personal strength then you will bathe those beans in all the good hormones that they deserve. Some days are better than others, I know......lot's of women are cramping and bleeding two days after FET, so you're in good shape. As for grading of embryos, its such a slippery slope and "fair" really means viable or they wouldn't have implanted them. Most doctors say exactly what your did.....scale of 1-5, yours fell in the middle. Pissed you off, I can tell. I wonder sometimes if they are trying to be "obtuse". Still, 10, 8 and 6 cell with no fragmentation is great. how are you feeling?

[SC-Impatient_in_VA]

A lot of times they don't like to give you grades after the thaw for whatever reason so I'm not surprised that he was hedging you. The embies may or may not be struggling now that the thaw took place but you need to focus on how good they were BEFORE because that's a good indication of their overall health -- and how they'll do once in a better environment, ie your uterus. Good luck!

[ceb85]

Thank you both for your replies. I'm feeling ok, I have a little bit of discomfort today, a few twinges here and there. Not really sure how to describe it. I figure it has something to do with the transfer. There are issues with my uterus so I have to go under anesthesia for transfers. I've been taking it very easy since my transfer. Dh is taking good care of me and wont let me do anything for myself ha.
As far as the embryos before the thaw I don't really know... They were frozen immediately after they were fertilized... Not sure if this is good or not. I've read where some RE's let them go a little longer to see how they do. I'm really trying to stay positive, I want this so badly, but I'm also so used to the let downs its hard to stay positive. But I know I have to in order to give my little ones the best chance.
From my obsessive research right now, it seems like anything could happen at this point. I've read where good quality ones don't take and poor quality ones have made it.

[SC-Impatient_in_VA]

It's very true. There is a lady on here who did PGD and find out that only her worst graded embryos were genetically normal. Sometimes great-looking embies don't take and bad-looking ones turn out to be tough little fighters. You don't really know what yours were -- I guess you're in the same situation as women who are TTC naturally except you paid a fortune for this (I assume).

Whether you're able to stay positive or negative has no effect on the cycle, but it will help YOU to feel better if you can keep your spirits up. Keeping your spirits up isn't the same as feeling like "Oh this is a sure-fire win" but it's more like "Starting to feel bad, time for some ice cream/pedicure/trip to the movies/call my best friend/etc." Surround yourself with the things and people you love and try to enjoy being PUPO. Good luck

[ceb85]

I had my beta today. BFN. I also was informed of my embryo grade. All 3 embryos were a grade 2 on a scale of 1 to 4, 1 being the best. I go in for another IVF consult in 2 weeks and hopefully we can get started again.