need help deciding where/when to cycle

tsproing · 10-29-2009, 06:45 AM

I need help working through some things here. Our only way of conceiving is IVF due to missing vas deferens. We just had a failed cycle (chem) in September, and our clinic told us they couldn't get us in until August becuase of the waiting list for DH's surgery (they can only do so many per cycle). So I started looking into other clinics that are partially covered by our insurance. I found one that could take us in January, and I'm in the process of getting a referral. Then right after I started the referral process, my current clinic called me and told me that they could get us in in April. I accepted the slot, but I'm not sure what I want to do now.

The facts: clinic A is on the other side of town from where I live (20-30 min drive). The cost OOP would be about $5,000. They have a slot for us in April. We have cycled there twice before: one successful, one unsuccessful. I have been working with them for about 3 years and everyone knows me. However, they blamed my recent failed cycle on my being 1 pound over their BMI limit and told me that I have to be 5-10 pounds below their BMI limit if I cycle with them again. And they've been treating me differently since the failure. Not nearly as nice as they did before. They have 3 REs and I (at least before they started acting weird around me) really like 2 of them. The other one causes me pain every time he touches me (ultrasounds and especially transfer- he had to use 2 different speculums and readjusted them multiple times).

Clinic B is halfway across the country- we would have to fly, but it is about a 4 hour drive from my parents' house. It requires 3 trips there: orientation, meds class, and cycle, each about a month apart. We could get one of them in while we are visiting my parents for the holidays, and may stay at my parents' after the holidays after the orientation and wait for the cycle to start, so it could all be done in 1 or 2 flights. Cost OOP would be about $7,000 plus travel expenses (flight and possibly hotel, though we may have a place to stay for free). They have a slot for us in January. I would have to get a referral and send them my medical records, and I would be dealing with staff who doesn't know me.

They payment for the April cycle with clinic A is due February 15th. It makes me nervous to keep the slot if we cycle in Janaury, because I'm not sure if we'll know if we need the slot by then, and I don't want it to go unused because they are hard to come by. Thoughts?

I thought about keeping my name on both lists. If I do that, should I explain to clinic A what I am doing?

Momsie · 10-29-2009, 07:21 PM

I would have a hard time making that decision too! Do you know which clinic has a better success rate? Can you meet with Clinic B for orientation prior to a financial commitment? Maybe you'll like their staff better. It's a tough decision!

tsproing · 10-29-2009, 07:42 PM

The success rates are very similar. I'm not sure about orientation and payment, but I'm going to at least put my referral in and get more info.

barren-bipolar · 10-30-2009, 05:49 AM

tsproing-

Are you a tennis pro btw?

I think trying to keep both options open is your best bet right now. Gives you time to make a decision.

Several factors are important:
1.) your age and ovarian reserve (if you don't have much time left, then the clinic that can do it sooner has an advantage BUT it's only a difference of like 3 months so maybe it's not that crucial)
2.) any scheduling conflicts
3.) your savings (how important saving money is to you - I know we'd definitely go for the less expensive option, but that's just us)
4.) which option would be more stressful (this is your call... but to travel for IVF sounds like a headache to me)
5.) an emotional cushion (meaning...letting enough time pass after your failed cycle so that you can make a nonemotional, more objective decision) For me, after each failed cycle I ALWAYS feel the way you feel about clinic A. I see all the negatives and I want to switch clinics. After about a month, I start to feel like maybe the clinic isn't quite so bad.
6.) whether you feel your weight has any effect on the potential success (you'd have to do research online, I guess). I have heard others saying that it matters. If you were seriously going to try to lose weight, you might as well also throw that into the mix for Clinic B (you want your best chances, right?). So that would mean trying to lose 5-10 pounds by January- OVER THE HOLIDAYS??? You would have to know yourself and know if that is really feasible and whether or not you might blame yourself a few years down the road if you didn't take off the weight. I know that I always gain 5-10 over the holidays- I have NEVER lost weight over the holidays in my life!

Of course, you can always go the simple route and toss a coin! How does your husband/partner feel? Does he lean one way or the other?

View Poll Results: Which clinic should I cycle at?
clinic A	0	0%
clinic B	1	25.00%
keep your name in for both	3	75.00%
Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

10-29-2009, 06:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
tsproing 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 410	need help deciding where/when to cycle I need help working through some things here. Our only way of conceiving is IVF due to missing vas deferens. We just had a failed cycle (chem) in September, and our clinic told us they couldn't get us in until August becuase of the waiting list for DH's surgery (they can only do so many per cycle). So I started looking into other clinics that are partially covered by our insurance. I found one that could take us in January, and I'm in the process of getting a referral. Then right after I started the referral process, my current clinic called me and told me that they could get us in in April. I accepted the slot, but I'm not sure what I want to do now. The facts: clinic A is on the other side of town from where I live (20-30 min drive). The cost OOP would be about $5,000. They have a slot for us in April. We have cycled there twice before: one successful, one unsuccessful. I have been working with them for about 3 years and everyone knows me. However, they blamed my recent failed cycle on my being 1 pound over their BMI limit and told me that I have to be 5-10 pounds below their BMI limit if I cycle with them again. And they've been treating me differently since the failure. Not nearly as nice as they did before. They have 3 REs and I (at least before they started acting weird around me) really like 2 of them. The other one causes me pain every time he touches me (ultrasounds and especially transfer- he had to use 2 different speculums and readjusted them multiple times). Clinic B is halfway across the country- we would have to fly, but it is about a 4 hour drive from my parents' house. It requires 3 trips there: orientation, meds class, and cycle, each about a month apart. We could get one of them in while we are visiting my parents for the holidays, and may stay at my parents' after the holidays after the orientation and wait for the cycle to start, so it could all be done in 1 or 2 flights. Cost OOP would be about $7,000 plus travel expenses (flight and possibly hotel, though we may have a place to stay for free). They have a slot for us in January. I would have to get a referral and send them my medical records, and I would be dealing with staff who doesn't know me. They payment for the April cycle with clinic A is due February 15th. It makes me nervous to keep the slot if we cycle in Janaury, because I'm not sure if we'll know if we need the slot by then, and I don't want it to go unused because they are hard to come by. Thoughts? I thought about keeping my name on both lists. If I do that, should I explain to clinic A what I am doing? Last edited by tsproing; 10-29-2009 at 07:05 AM.

10-29-2009, 07:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
Momsie 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 197	I would have a hard time making that decision too! Do you know which clinic has a better success rate? Can you meet with Clinic B for orientation prior to a financial commitment? Maybe you'll like their staff better. It's a tough decision! __________________ Me(35) DH(43) Mommy to 4 fur kids... My "babies" Oscar, Sierra, India & Echo TTC 3 years IUI #1 - June 2009. BFN IVF #1 - Aug 2009 - BFN IVF #2 - October/November 2009 - Antagonist cycle - Cancelled due to poor response to Stims

10-30-2009, 05:49 AM	#4 (permalink)
barren-bipolar 300-399 post 5 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: New York City Posts: 354	tsproing- Are you a tennis pro btw? I think trying to keep both options open is your best bet right now. Gives you time to make a decision. Several factors are important: 1.) your age and ovarian reserve (if you don't have much time left, then the clinic that can do it sooner has an advantage BUT it's only a difference of like 3 months so maybe it's not that crucial) 2.) any scheduling conflicts 3.) your savings (how important saving money is to you - I know we'd definitely go for the less expensive option, but that's just us) 4.) which option would be more stressful (this is your call... but to travel for IVF sounds like a headache to me) 5.) an emotional cushion (meaning...letting enough time pass after your failed cycle so that you can make a nonemotional, more objective decision) For me, after each failed cycle I ALWAYS feel the way you feel about clinic A. I see all the negatives and I want to switch clinics. After about a month, I start to feel like maybe the clinic isn't quite so bad. 6.) whether you feel your weight has any effect on the potential success (you'd have to do research online, I guess). I have heard others saying that it matters. If you were seriously going to try to lose weight, you might as well also throw that into the mix for Clinic B (you want your best chances, right?). So that would mean trying to lose 5-10 pounds by January- OVER THE HOLIDAYS??? You would have to know yourself and know if that is really feasible and whether or not you might blame yourself a few years down the road if you didn't take off the weight. I know that I always gain 5-10 over the holidays- I have NEVER lost weight over the holidays in my life! Of course, you can always go the simple route and toss a coin! How does your husband/partner feel? Does he lean one way or the other? __________________ me (34) DH (51), TTC #1 low ovarian reserve, hypothyroid, egg quality issues beginning IVF #3- looking for a golden egg http://bravebarrenbipolar.wordpress.com Last edited by barren-bipolar; 10-30-2009 at 05:56 AM.

VISIT OUR SISTER SITES:
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar	eHarmony Advice Dating Advice	Project Wedding Wedding Songs	Weddingbee Wedding Blog

Currently Active Chat Room Users: 0 \| Scheduled Chat Room Events
	Users in Chat Rooms: No one's chatting right now!

10-29-2009, 07:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
tsproing 400-499 post 6 of hearts Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 410	The success rates are very similar. I'm not sure about orientation and payment, but I'm going to at least put my referral in and get more info.