Followup appt after BFN

[TreeHugger]

DH and I met with RE on Friday. He said he wouldn't normally recommend trying again with my own eggs, EXCEPT that our embryos were such good quality (all 8-10 cells on day 3). I then asked if there's something about me that would cause them to not implant (I had a "perfect" lining). He said RE's don't generally do lining biopsies, so he doesn't know.

A lesson in being proactive and doing your own research ... then I suggested maybe I have a hydrosalpinx (fluid) going on in my blocked tube. He said it didn't appear to be a "big" hydro (???), but recommended having a tubal ligation on that side, which means another laparoscopy. Ugh. I have to wonder why this wasn't suggested in the first place, before we spent all that money. It's so frustrating.

So now there could be other reasons, I suppose ... immune issues, hormonal issues, etc. I don't know what to do. Ask for tests, I suppose. Any suggestions?

Bottom line, we didn't have to decide anything on Friday, but we already knew going in that we won't try again with my own eggs. We've had two BFNs and two cancelled cycles, and I've never produced more than 2 eggs. Why would be try the same thing again, you know?

Well, if you're still reading this far, thanks.
Jennifer

[*LISAANN*]

Jennifer, I am glad that you have a plan. I am not sure why the doctors don't tell us everything we need to know. I think part of it is they just want our money. (Don't know your doctor, just my overall opinion).

Good luck!!!

Lisa

[thebabyproject]

Well, are you out of pocket or insured?

Honestly, after I got over DE and losing my genetics, it was pretty well a relief to not have to stim, to not have to go to a follie check heart in mouth to get what feels like a failing grade and/or just scraping by. To go through ER only to hear a small number of eggs. To get to the fert report or the transfer and hear that we've got bad embryo quality. To go through the 2WW with no hope at all.

To only have 2 appts for lining checks and let someone else get paid to go through all the needles and pain...

It's not so bad when you've been a poor responder. You inevitably compare yourself to the donor and feel inadequate, but I'd feel inadequate at the follie checks anyway.

Only you can decide, but just wanted to speak from the 'other side of the egg'.

Emily

[bebeblues]

Treehug, I think you're right on-you know your body best and know if you can survive emotionally going through that struggle again (though we all say'This will be the last time" and somehow, all of the hurt and pain is magically swept away and we feel we can do another. Tell you're RE to be completely honest with you. Its important that they really think through your individual diagnosis. There are all kinds of new drugs they can use to make you get more eggs. I heard of a drug they're using to treat breast cancer with to use a stims. It worked on my 38 yo friend who was a poor responder-it started with an "L". And, the RE she used (Conceptions in CO) is very young and very aggressive in terms of his protocol, like they are a huge challenge for him that he has to succeed. You need someone like that-who will be willing to use less conventional drugs and methods to get you pg w/ your own eggs. Was it your FSH that is high? Even is you only produce a few eggs, maybe they are of higher quality.

We have an appt. with a new RE this Wed. and intend to get the truth out of him (if we can) of if we would ever suceed with DHs sperm. I'm sort of in the same boat, but not, since we have sperm issues. We have to decide to give up the genetics and use donor sperm or try again and pray for the best since each cycle is different and it would be our 3rd IVF-ICSI. Hopefully, we'll get some answers this week and you will too and we can put our minds to rest, whatever decision we make.

Take Care,
Bebe

[TreeHugger]

After I told RE we were leaning toward DE, he then said that is what he recommends. And he recommends surgery to close off the tube before doing DE.

We're out-of-pocket for the actual IVF procedures, but our insurance covers some of the u/s and b/w, and should cover the laparoscopy since it's considered a tubal ligation. Interesting that pg prevention (tubal ligation) is covered, but not IF treatments. Grrrrr!!!!

Anyway, we've definitely decided to move on to DE, even though I'm still a little sad and nervous about that. But after TTC for four years and trying four different protocols, I just can't do it again. I asked RE, if my good-grade embryos aren't implanting now, why it would be any different with DE -- he said he can't say for sure, but my egg quality (FSH 13, age 36) and the accompanying possibility of chromosomal abnormalities could be the reason they're not implanting.

In May we're meeting with RE to look at donor profiles (gulp), but won't be doing it until much later this year. I'd post all this on the DE board, but there's hardly any activity there.

Good luck to all of you!

Jennifer

[Anomaly]

Good luck Jennifer. I know I'd go with DE's too if it meant being more secure with having a baby. At least you don't have to put yourself through more meat eating!!!!

Are you at peace with you choice? Relief? That's how I always know I'm ready to move on - when the relief comes with the one of the two (or however many) options I've been weighing begins. Deciding is the hard part.