Venting and upset

[brookles76]

Sorry before I ever start....but here we go again. I called my RE to get my HCG levels....they are following me down to zero after my m/c ....and also to ask why I may be bleeding at O time. They called me back and said my level went from 9.5 last week to 5 this week. They then proceded to tell me that my AF that started 9/9/05 was not really a AF. They think it was just more lining sluffing of from the m/c. I am irate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The 9/9 bleeding was exactly like every other AF I have ever had in my life. I even told them the day I started and at that point they didn't say it couldn't be AF. I really do think it was AF. They told me the bleeding now may be the start to my next AF. At this point and time I am no longer bleeding...that I will have to wait out for the next couple hours or so.

So, to top it off, I have to have another HCG test next Monday. My consult is next Wednesday. They told me that they were not counting that 9/9 as a AF and that I would have to have AF this next time and couldn't cycle till the next AF. Now I am not sure when I will be cycling. I am still hoping for October, but who knows.

I am so upset. I just got off the phone with my Mom.......crying a river again.

This is just so hard and confusing. Did I mention I have good CM. Well I guess we will try the old natural way. Haaaaaaaaaaaaa like that has ever worked before.

[wishing & hopin]

Man that sucks!! Do they not realize how hard it is to wait. I have been counting the days since my M/C to be able to try again. My first AF after was 4 days later than expected and I was climbing the walls. Did you talk to the RE actually making the decisions or one of the nurses? Maybe you should call back and let them know about the CM and tell them you have had crazy sex - 3 times a day (I know its dramatic) maybe they will see the errors of their ways.

[brookles76]

Wishin,

I talked to the nurse of course.....I kind of let her know I didn't like what she was telling me so she said she would talk to Dr. She then called me back and relayed his message. So upset

[wishing & hopin]

I feel so bad for you. That really stinks! Have you already paid them for this cycle? Is there anyone else in your area you would rather use? I am 100% self pay so I don't feel inclined to put up with much B/S! Last cycle the *&*( nurses about killed me with the sonogram for each ovary check but yet the RE could find them with no pain in a minute or less. Maybe I am bitter at the nurses, anyway what about calling back and talking to the RE yourself, important points could have been left out - the RE can only make decisions based on what they hear.

[jenbethk]

Oh, Brooke! I'm so sorry! I found that with both of my m/c's, there was always something preventing me from cycling again as quickly as I wanted to! After my twin m/c I had a D&C, thought I was all ready to start again, and they did a saline sono to check things out and there was still placenta in my uterus. So they had to schedule me for a hysteroscopy which set me back again by several weeks, then did another saline sono!
With my blighted ovum m/c, they wanted me to m/c naturally, but that didn't happen. So they finally induced it with a drug called Cytotec THREE TIMES! Then they found something STILL there with a saline sono, sent me for an MRI, another saline sono, waited forever for my betas to drop, etc.
So....my point is that I truly feel your pain and there is nothing worse than having your plan that's in your mind derailed by the doctors! I truly hope October will still be your month!!!!

Hugs, Jen

[brookles76]

Thanks Jen,

I guess compared to your roller coaster ride, mine isn't so bad. But you are right, when you have a plan in mind and are ready to get going again.....and move on after a m/c you just want some control. That is what I think I want. I want to at least have some say over what is going on. I always feel like time is a tickin...ya know what I mean?

[jenbethk]

Brooke, I totally know what you mean! We lose control of everything in this process and it's unbelievably frustrating!!! As for time tickin'....I know what you mean! But you're nice and young, my friend!!! But I know, that doesn't mean you want a baby any less than anyone else. I couldn't agree more!!!
Hang in there!!!
Jen

[Nan75]

Hi Brooke, oh yuck. I am so sorry. But my question is, how do they know it was not AF?! Is it because your hcg hasn't gone down to zero yet? I don't get how they would know that it isn't AF just by talking with you on the phone.

Try not to stress too much until you see your RE on Weds. I have found that the nurses at FCI sometimes give incorrect info and I always feel better talking to my doc. On more than one occasion, the nurse has said something to me, I have freaked out about it, and then when I saw the doctor he totally calmed me down and said it wasn't a big deal.

Keep trying naturally and try and stay calm (ha, i know) until you see your RE. Whenever something very unexpected in this process happens, I keep repeating the same mantra to myself "you can't control what's happen, you can only control your response."

I'm still hoping and praying for Oct for ya.

[brookles76]

Nan,

When do you plan to do another cycle? Just waiting for your AF???? Who knows, we may be cycling together at this point.

I love your question......how do they know it isn't AF? I am guessing they assume it isn't because my HCG levels haven't hit zero. But I have actually heard many stories of still having small levels and having a period. My level was probably ten or less at the point I had my fake AF!!!!! I do think I will feel better once I talk to my RE, but man Wed feels like years away at this point...9/28 is the consult.

How are you Nan? I hope you are not as hormonal and agitated as I have been lately. I think DH is wondering about me at this point. He has been great, but he still isn't taking this like I am. He seems to be able to bounce back quicker. My salvation is starting a new cycle!!

Oh Nan, I forgot to ask.....Is your RE Dr. Kaplan? I know you told me but I couldn't remember. I met another fellow FCI gal. Dr. Kaplan is her RE. Just thought I would mention it.

[Emma]

Hi there my friend! That just stinks! I know how you feel...it seemed like FOREVER for my hcg to go to 0! In fact...if I remember right...the last draw I had it went to 2 and they counted that as 0. I think the theory is that your body doesn't start to 'reset' itself until the hcg is down/gone. It makes it REALLY hard though when you have a plan all set and your body seems like it isn't cooperating. As hard as it may be...if the dr wants you to wait on another af then it's probably the best thing to do. I had my cycle postponed for the same reason and was really upset too...but looking back it was for the better. You just want to keep moving forward though! I feel for you...it's hard to be patient and it's hard to keep going for draws after a m/c. Big hugs coming your way and I'll be checking up on you so I can cheer you on! Love~Emma