jaded, bitter IVFers unite (warning: bad attitude ment)

[cooroo]

Iwanabab2 Wow, your first post here, and you're already jaded and bitter!!! Welcome aboard and welcome to our new jaded and bitter club!

Well, dreamsofbaby--see that sig? I added another BFN to the batch on the last cycle. A year to my age and another BFN in one month...
oh well....

I'm still not totally convinced we're doing this last IVF cycle. My cysts might be holding up the party. And I think DH is finished with the crap shoot. We both know that we'll have a baby at the end of the adoption road.....

Hope all my jaded buds are doing well.

xo-Coo

[jacqw]

Thanks for starting this thread. I try to be positive--and look ahead, not back. But sometimes I feel exactly the way everyone here has expressed. I try not to be negative on the threads b/c I do not want to impact others--or myself for that matter. But reading this was...well...sort of cleansing. I am MAD. I am ANGRY. I feel CHEATED. I try to live a good life. I try to be good to others--why if God doing this to me. (okay--here goes my pity party). I also feel a little guilty b/c my dh really wants to stop this treatment. He has lovingly supported my decisions to keep going forward with if treatment--but I cannot keep forging ahead. I am hoping for another cycle of ivf in september--if that does not work--we will be raising the white flag and surrendering to the fertility gods.


Hang in there ladies--I know exactly how you feel!

[thebabyproject]

AF is maybe coming early. This morning to my wondering eyes there was red on the TP, cramps suck, and now it's back to brown spot. It's only CD22, but a 24 day cycle is not unheard of with some pre-AF spotting is always the norm. Screws up my careful planning/scheduling, but what else is new.

And don't tell me implantation spotting or I'll both and we've got less than a million normal sperm and while I know it's theoretically possible, it's a LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGG shot.

I just don't feel ready for this suddenly. I'm afraid for my marriage, afraid of the heartache, just afraid and kind of cranky that this is the way we'd get pg. Why couldn't we beat the odds just this once?

But, we paid our money, got the meds, I'd have to do CD3/CD21 b/w again if we don't do it this month, and a May baby sounds nice.

Just freaking.

Awa-ay we go, probably not today, but this weekend for sure.

Thanks for listening.

[EileenG]

Hi, my name is Eileen and I'm jaded and bitter..

As you can all see, this is my 6th cycle...
Not only am I jaded and bitter, but have become quite the hermit too...
Even though I post here and there, I have REFUSED to join a cyclers club for fear of having to report the day of my beta that BFN!!!

And let me tell you, my cycle is days away...........

I know EXACTLY what post your talking about and I felt like the words were taken right out of my mouth. I haven't been able to respond (even though I wanted to so badly) simply because I feel the same way and there's no way I can offer any words of "encouragement" here. I can usually step up to the plate when a fellow member is in a "funk", however, the well seems to be dry lately and I'm finding it impossible to help anyone, especially myself.

Thank God I'm not ALONE!!

[cooroo]

Oh Eileen, My fellow Lucky Charmer (right?). We are all jaded and bitter. Welcome to our pissed off club, , where you never ever have to have the right words to say to anyone, other than "don't it just suck?"

I hate that there are so many of you in my club, but at the same time, it is comforting to know I'm not so alone.

We'll secretly cheer you on during this cycle, but only cussing and ranting and without our rose colored glasses on.

Coo

[SomedayMommy]

I know EXACTLY what post your talking about and I felt like the words were taken right out of my mouth. I haven't been able to respond (even though I wanted to so badly) simply because I feel the same way and there's no way I can offer any words of "encouragement" here.

Thanks, sweetheart.

[Cathin1]

Thank you all for expressing all those feelings most of us are bursting at the seams with. I get so weary of ppl saying "stay positive" (inlcuding DH). Yah, I try, but I'm so pissed off at the world right now. And I'm afraid to say that most times because people are so put off by it. I'm reclusive, I don't want to talk to anyone, and to be honest, I think after going off the PIO cliff it's almost like PPD. It's been 8 long years ttc for us, 4 IUI's, 2 IVF's. How in the hell am I suppose to believe it's going to happen if it hasn't already??

to all
I so understand

[maglind]

so I am jaded, bitter and with a bad attitude .... but the topper of this all... I am on day 1 of PROVERA... This drug is one of the most evil meds I can be on besides lupron.

OMG... AF is aluding me so they have put me on 2 pills of provera a day for 5 days and my gosh I know this time next week I will be such a HUGE BIOTCH I won't even be able to stand myself. HELP!!!! just punch me in the head and make me better, please? I beg you to punch me... LOL

HAPPY FRIDAY TO US ALL. I am going to go out for Chinese and then a drink with DH tomorrow night.. What are you all doing for the weekend?

Sweltering St. Louis MO

[little t]

Hi CooRoo! I am hopping aboard this wagon. I am going to do my 4th and FINAL IVF in October. We have NEVER had a positive beta. Not even a 10. Zilch, Nada!

I don't think I would call myself bitter, I am just super terrified out of my mind!!! I have for sure changed since IVF #1 to now. I am not the positive happy vibes person that I was then. I actually asked my DH if we could wait until January and he wants to "get it over with". Since I know it is over after this cycle, I am terrified. Will it be over in a WONDERFUL way? Or will it be over in a DISASTEROUS way? I am sure I cycled here with some of you already.

I cycled in March 2004 I was a Lucky Charm that wasn't
I cycled in Sept 2004 I was a Septembie and didn't get to keep any
I cycled in Jan 2005 I was a New Year Miracle with no miracle

I am so ready to finally have a lucky charm that will give me a beautiful embie and send me a little miracle in October/November.

I pray that we all will be in another "club" very soon!!!

All aboard!

[Purple Martini]

Hey gals

Some familiar "faces" .... and I can totally relate ! I mentioned earlier about it being our last cycle too and the fears associated with that .... seems that there are a few of us. Anyway, quite refreshing to chat with some women who are bright, realistic and honest ...

(Have to just say a quick HI to my old friends Bec and Tara, so nice to see ya )

To all, hope that you have a fun w/end. I'm waiting for af (although it's only cd15 today ..... hmmmmm, may be a week or so yet!) and as we have pretty bad male factor and natural conception is highly unlikely, I will have that glass of pinot noir at the bar tonight, I mean, what else goes with tapas !

I wish you all well,
Hugs
Teresa