PGD (child mentd)

[BC-Sirell]

Firstly, my couple will be doing PGD on their embryos for this cycle, and I have heard sooooo many times that few to no embryos survive this process. Is this correct? That would just be really horrible for all of us involved.

Secondly, and I hope I don't upset anyone, but as I am really upset about it myself, my intended father is insisting on the PGD solely to have a son from this cycle. I delivered their baby girl in November of last year, and this time he says he has to have a son. That's what he told our RE, who suggested the PGD. I just found this info out last week and I just don't know what to do or think.

Hugs,


Sirell

[MegSD]

Wow...

First of all, you are correct in your thinking that many embies don't "make the cut" for being transferred after PGD. Even young healthy women who do PGD (for reasons other than sex selection) have only approximately 10% of embies "good enough" to be transferred back.

Now, what gets me really fired up - this jacka$$ would just scrap the whole cycle if the only good embies were female?!?! I totally entirely disagree with this thinking. Then again, years of IF may have made me somewhat "too involved" to rationally comment.

You're in a very tough spot... Good luck,
Meg

[Adora1]

I 2nd that. How irritating that must make you. I can't believe some people!

[littlecalista]

Wow, I'd be REALLY upset too!!! So what do they intend to do if there are only healthy female embies? I hope they'd at the very least consider donating them rather than destroying them. What is the intented mother saying about all this??

to you!!! I hope it all works out.

[BC-Sirell]

Well, of course, if only healthy girl embryos survive the PGD, then that's what we'll transfer, but my intended father is really hoping for a son.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but I absolutely love my intended parents and I am here to help them with this endeavor regardless.

I think I am more upset at our RE than my intended father. Isn't it unethical for him to suggest the PGD for this reason?

Thank you for your support!

Hugs,


Sirell

[SomedayMommy]

Oh, Sirell, I am so, so sorry. I thought ethically that REs were not supposed to do PGD for sex selection solely. I don't have a problem with spinning the sperm to have the heavier (I think female?) sperm sink to the bottom, but I do have a problem with doing PGD solely for sex selection.

Oh, Sirell...I wouldn't know what to think either. You would think that with everything this couple has to go through to get a child, that they would be happy with whatever they are given.

So they will just discard the female embies? What will they do with them? I am like you - I would be saddened. My DH wants a son, too, but he will still leave up to chance the sex.

[BC-Sirell]

Well, like I said, if only female embryos survive the PGD, then of course that's what we'll transfer and they will love having another daughter or two. If only male embryos survive, we'll transfer those. If both male and female embryos survive, we'll transfer the male, and freeze the female. If we get pregnant with the male embryos and carry to term, then they will donate the female embryos to another couple. If we don't get pregnant from the male embryos, or M/C, then we'll do a FET with the remaining frozen embryos.

Our ED is only 23 years old, and produces many eggs everytime she donates. This is the same ED we used for our previous cycle that resulted in my IPs daughter. So, we're hoping that we get lots of embryos that fertilize and survive the PGD.

I'm sorry for opening up this can of worms here, but I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being overly-critical of my intended father and our RE for this decision. My intended mother is against the PGD for this reason, but is allowing her DH to make the decision.

Hugs,


Sirell

[littlecalista]

Ok, I feel better about this now. Not that what I feel about it matters! LOL! Ok, let me play devil's advocate for a moment. Maybe the intended father is feeling something like this: They are IF and everything else has been out of their control. They aren't able to get pg like "normal" fertile people. So maybe this is his way of taking back some of that control. Most people can choose when to get pg and do it in the privacy of their own homes, but they can't choose the sex of their baby. Soooo, maybe he's thinking that since they can't have a baby by traditional means that he should at least be able to do his best to have the son he's always wanted.

Now if this were a couple with no IF problems going through IVF/PGD soley to get a son (and not for reasons like a sex related genetic disorder), then I think this would be a HUGE moral issue. I'd probably cut this guy a little slack and let him take control where he can. Should the RE have offered this as an option....no! But the idea is out there already so all you can do is try to make the best of the situation. I'm soooo relieved and happy to hear that they will donate the remaining embies. At least the recipient couple will know they are getting healthy embies!

Good luck and I hope this works out well for everyone involved!!!

[BC-Sirell]

Thank you soooo much for your reply, Angela! I hadn't thought of it that way, and it does make sense. Only someone in your shoes, dealing with infertility, could see that side, could see the need to have at least some form of control over the whole process.

My couple really are absolutely wonderful people, and I completely adore them, so I have to let this judgement call go, so to speak.

Hugs,


Sirell

[dr j]

Sirrell and all

Although I wouldn't do PGD for sex selection alone, there are other advantages. They will assure they are transferring only normal ( for the most part- can't test all the chromosomes) embryos. In healthy embryos, there should be plenty that make it thru the procedure.

Of course it does sound selfish. Having had both sexes - living and dead - via IVF I can say unequivocally that it doesn't matter a hill of beans what sex they are. If that dad is smiling into another little girl's eyes a year from now, I am sure he will think it's just perfect- and it will be.

dr j