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Old 06-27-2005, 10:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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WAYS TO ANSWER THAT DREADED QUESTION (too funny!)

Kate gave us some helpful hints on how to get pregnant, which was way too funny! So I thought we could use a little more humor with ways to answer that dreaded question that we all get at one point in time or another. So here goes...if you have any of your own to add, by all means, please do!

Question: So when are you just going to settle down and have a baby?

I know I have been asked this at least 5 million times in the last 10 years and for a while it really bothered me, but now I just have fun with it. Some people just can't help being stupid. Here are some of my favorite answers, a few of these I have actually used.

1. We would but our dog/cat is allergic to children.

2. We tried but my husband suffered a terrible barber shop accident, and well, having children is just no longer possible.

3. We plan to but I want to remain a virgin until we have been married at least 10 years, I don't like to rush things.

4. The doctor told us it just wouldn't be possible since the sex change operation.

5. My husband is gay. (this is particularly funny if the person asking that dumb question is a relative of your husband's)

6. My husband gave me a choice of having children or getting a boob job, and I chose the boob job.

7. With a gene pool like ours, we just don't want to risk it. (this is funny if it's a relative/in law asking the question)

8. We're too afraid of our children turning out like yours. (if the person asking the question has ill-behaved children)

9. We just don't want to have to give up our "alternative lifestyle". (leaves them guessing)

10. Ya know, that's a good idea. I think we'll start trying right now. Could we use one of your bedrooms for a few minutes?

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Old 06-27-2005, 11:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Bump
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Old 06-28-2005, 06:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Some of those were great.

This has been my stock response to that question:

"Oh, we had a couple of children, but during the last recession we had to let them go."
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Old 06-28-2005, 06:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Here's more...

1) You mean the stork doesn't just bring them?

2) Gee, we have been trying for a while, and no luck...any pointers?

3) We thought about having a baby, but decided that you only get a few good years out of them....probably get more use out of a new car

4) Kids...why waste this fantastic body? (especially good if you are a little on the curvey side.

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Old 06-28-2005, 06:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
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ha ha- these are great!!!
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Old 06-28-2005, 07:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks, those are really funny
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Old 06-28-2005, 09:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Those are some great ones, I'm writing these down. I have a few more to add:

1. We're still reading the "How To Make a Baby for Dummies" book.

2. The pound said our new dog really needs to be in a child-free environment.

3. We haven't figured out how to get a carseat strapped on to the roof of the Porche yet.
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Old 06-28-2005, 06:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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those are great i just cant remember them at the right time.
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Old 06-28-2005, 11:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I just read this with my Mom and I am in tears, and she is in shock..... I love IF humor, though she only gets some of it!!!!
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Old 06-28-2005, 11:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Don't forget mine, Beth:

We've had plenty of babies but Michael Jackson bought them all at birth!
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