I wasn't expecting this yet!

[Leanne]

Joey enjoyed The Polar Express so much in the theater last year that I got the DVD today. Both he and Alicia were glued to their seats while they watched it. Tonight, while I was tucking Joey into bed he asked me THE question- "Is Santa real or just in the movie?" I was not expecting this question for at least a year or two, so I was totally caught off guard and unprepared. I told him that Santa is alive in our hearts and part of the reason why we give presents to people we care about at Christmas time. We are Catholic, so if he continues to question me, I will tell him about St. Nicholas, since he is familiar with some other saints.

Does anyone with older kids have any advice on how to handle this? I'm not ready for him to loose his "innocense". Usually I am pretty good with these types of questions, but, like I said, I wasn't expecting this one yet, so I was fumbling for an answer.

[Jamie D]

My 4 yr old did this yesterday in the mall. She wanted to know why there was a Santa at the mall and at the grocery store. I was stunned and caught off guard!

I asked her why she thought there was and she replied that Santa has many helpers since he can't be everywhere at once! I thought it was a good answer and smiled and didn't really agree or disagree!

I don't push the Santa thing at all since I don't want it taking away from the real reason we celebrate Christmas, but I also will not destroy her sense of innocence by telling her there is "no santa". So, we will see how it goes!

Wish I had some advice, but I don't! Take care and let us know if you come up with anything!

[Lynda-PA]

I think I might throw the question back to him and ask him "What do you think? Do you think he is real?" He may not be asking you to prove or disprove Santa at this point but trying to distinquish between what he sees on t.v. and in movies that he is frequently told is make believe or NOT real and so trying to distinquish if because Santa is in a movie if that makes him not real too. Just a thought. I also would tend to let him believe at this tender age (would have caught me off guard too!) - whether he is asking or not. I would answer my dd in this sort of situation that some people believe he is real and others may not, but that I think that he is and that Santa Claus is part of the magic of Christmas and I would tell her about the real St. Nicholas as well and blend that into my answer. Good luck!
Lynda

[foelschg]

Eric was about Joey's age when he told me that Santa wasn't real (it wasn't a question it was a statement) and one of the things that helped change his mind back was the NORAD Santa Cam web-site (http://www.noradsanta.org/). Watching Santa fly around the world on Christmas Eve helped change his mind. I did reverse the question for him though...

Last year (at 8 1/2) we had a LONG talk about it right around Thanksgiving. I wouldn't come right out and give him a yes or no answer and he got really upset. Finally it came out that he was afraid that if Santa was NOT real, but he believed then someday his kids would not have any presents since he'd be waiting for Santa to bring them! I promised him that he would have it all worked out before he had kids. I then asked him if he believed in magic and he told me that the type of magic magicians do is just tricks. So then I said what about the type of magic that made reindeer fly and grown men fit inside our chimney and he said yes, so I said that's fine...you believe in the magic of Christmas and that's all that matters.

On Christmas Eve my kids put out water and carrots for the reindeer. Well, I ordered a sleighbell (http://classicbells.com/santaBells/santaBells.htm) and then knocked over the water bucket and put the bell along side it. When the kids heard it ring it reinforced the message from Polar Express about the magic of Christmas. (Maia hated that movie -- Eric liked it (his 1st in a theater!). They both like the book better though).

Gail

[mellymom]

well, we've been there done that, 3 times over now....with 3 more to go!

My answer was, Santa is the Spirit of Christmas. The santas here, in the malls and such are just working to keep the spirit going in the season. We got a bit deeper in discussing that God is a Spirit, and you can't see him, but he exists. That is the real reason for the Christmas season and Santa is the Spirit of Giving, God gave us Jesus for Christmas (worked for the young mind )and they could see some connection. So it was okay for all the store Santas to be 'not real' and that they were to focus on 'giving'.

any help?..........

melanie

[BC-Tracik]

Last year Alondra asked how Santa could be at more then one mall..... we were power shopping and went to two back to back that day. I told her that the men at the mall, ringing bells, etc were Special people who help Santa out.... since he is very busy. We also have a few books that talk about St. Nicholas and his spirit and how he became "santa claus" and I like that message.

I don't want to lie to my kids but I am OK with giving them shades of Grey when it comes to stuff like this. If they ask directly then I will tell them that he is the spirit but does not actually come down the chimney. Also, for us we focus alot on the birth of Jesus as the reason we celebrate christmas and we try to tie Santa into that.... I have another good book around that tie-in.

[ItaliaGirl]

I think you did great! I like the idea of asking Joey what he believes.....
Great thing to think about although we probably have another year before that question comes up!

[capeach]

I plan on throwing the question back at Cameron. That way, I'll know when he's really ready to hear.

BTW, I did the same thing with Katya about the Disney characters. There was a small part of her that wanted to believe they were real when we were at WDW a couple weeks back. I asked her, "Well, what do you think?" She didn't really answer, just sorta smiled.

[Barb.B]

If the kids were still kind of young I would throw the question back to them :"what do you think". That way I would get a better idea of what they were really thinking. Alot for me depends on the childs age. Now when my son was 8 1/2 and asked well then I nicely told the truth. It is great to bring St. Nicholas into the discussion because he was the first santa claus and all us parents becone santa after him! Was they knew I also told them that they still get a present from "santa" and get stockings filled!

By the way there is a great little movie out about St. Nicholas that is great to show the kids even when they still believe in santa. I will have to look up the exact title. They are a catholic company that has movies on other saints too.
Barb

[Leanne]

Thanks you all. You gave me some good ideas. We try not to focus too much on Santa either, but I think after seeing the movie, it got him thinking. He's asked about the mall santas in years past and we just told him they were helpers. This time the questioin was a little different.