Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Vets - Take 2! PREG, M/C, CHILDREN MENT'D

[jac44]

writer - I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. The fact that you got pregnant on your own is amazing and I'm sure it will happen again.

nico - so glad to hear that you're enjoying being a new mom again! I can't imagine having another one (yet) but you never know.

[Kathleen000]

oh writer that really stinks. I hope you are starting to heal and am glad you didn't need a D&C either.

Nico - do you dole out the tokens or do they have to ask for them? Do you you offer them (as in do you say "if you put the books aay I'll give you a token?) Just curious. We have been starting to talk about how we want to handle an allowance (or if we even want to give them one at all) so I like to hear from others how they handle rewards and stuff.

[Kathleen000]

Hey all,
I need your thoughts about a complicated family situation:

ok here goes!

my SIL Aleja is from colombia. Recently, her sister got very sick with pneumonia and bronchitis and some other problems. She went to her parents and stayed there for the weekend until she could get into the hospital on monday. While in the hospital, they found out she also has leukimia and TB. Before we knew about the TB I was encouraging my SIL to go and be with her family, but after hearing about the TB I told her I was worried for her health if she went. She was also bringing her 7 year old daughter. Well they both still went. I talked to my pediatrican about what to do to protect my girls when she came back. The ped said that we should avoid her or anyone who was around her for 8 weeks. Then at 8 weeks they should take a TB test. If it's negative then no worries. Well now it's turned into this whole big issue. my DH is one of 5 kids and people are split about what to do. Some feel like we are just being mean and jerky by saying we don't want to be around them. Some understand - I have a newborn! and I am also still not in good health either. So now I am questioning myself. I am starting to wonder if I am being too overprotective? Chances are they didn't catch it but do I want to take that chance? They could have caught it from the sick sister, but also from her parents (who have not been tested yet) because her and her daughter stayed with them while they were there for three weeks. I just feel like it's not fair for them to now play the victim role. Their crazy deciscion to go down there is why we can't see them. I don't feel like it's our fault at all. Am I wrong?

[BC-Nico]

kathleen, will write more later, but for now just wanted to pop on and say I absolutely do not think you are crazy. Yes, chances are they do not have TB, but what if they do? you **really** don't need that on top of everything else you have been / are dealing with, both with baby K and your own health. It's only 8-ish weeks, it will not kill them not to see you for that amount of time. I would hope they would understand, but if not - too bad. You have to protect yourself and your family! xoxox

[Kathleen000]

Thanks for responding Nico. I guess the problem is that we also don't want to be around anyone who does go around them. (i.e. if Mike's mom goes over to their house then we don't want to see Mike's mom until they are cleared too). I think that part is making it harder because people feel like they are being made to choose sides. We haven't said anything like that, all we said was "if you see Drew or Aleja and Ana-Victoria, can you please not come see us". We are totally not saying don't go see them, we are just saying respect the decision we have made for our family. But I guess it feel like an "us" against "them" kind of thing.

[writerkms]

Kathleen- You are SOOO not being crazy or jerky! Stick to your guns!! You are putting the health of your family first and that is never a bad decision. I think it is up to them to respect you, whether they agree or not!! How are you feeling?

Nico- Did Cameron start EI yet? We saw soooo much progress with Isaac! Will you be going back to work?

KLC- how was the vacation? How are the girls? Did you move yet?

spin- how is the counselling going? Did you ever find a new space? How is potty training little A going?

I feel like I have been really depressed since this miscarriage. It doesnt help that both my SIL's, and my best friend are all pregnant. I just feel so jealous all the time and I hate that feeling. Plus, I let this effect how well I was doing with my eating and now I feel like I am two steps back.

[spindoctor]

Writer - I am so sorry, you really don't deserve this! Don't beat yourself up about feeling angry or jealous, it is perfectly natural, and understandable. Hang in there!!

Thanks for asking, the counselling is going great, I absolutely love it. I just need to get a steadier stream of clients so I have more income. I was supposed to get some info on new downtown counselling offices this week for my non-fertility clients, but haven't heard anything yet. Avery is finally making an effort with the potty training, thank goodness! Now our biggest challenge is trying to phase out giving her smarties every times she goes to the toilet!!

[Shiners02]

Hi! I'm sorry to barge in on your board. I post on the Vets 4 board but I had a question for those of you who have gotten your cycles back naturally after pregnancy. My DD is 10 months old. I weaned from pumping in April and had my first AF in June. I was only temping at that time and had EWCM and a nice thermal shift. I had a 10-11 day LP, but BFN. Currently I am on like CD25 and had a big thermal shift around CD 15, but I had very little CM and my ovulation monitor said low. My temps have gradually gone back down and now I have EWCM but yesterday my monitor still said low. I didn't test it today because I had about a .3 degree increase in my temps so I thought, if it said low yesterday it probably won't say anything different today. I am just wondering if those who have gotten their cycles back, if you had cycles that were anovulatory or if anyone experienced anything like what's going on with me.
Once again I am sorry for just barging in, but I want to know if I should just wait this out and things will eventually get normal or if I should just go see my OB.

[klc2007]

Writer - Being sad/depressed is so understandable, as is a bit of jealousy! I'm not really even technically trying and I'm so jealous of my good friend that is pg that I get so annoyed with how much she works it into *every* conversation. I want to scream, "I get it, you're pregnant"!! But, please, please don't go backward in any progress you've made with your eating issues. Getting that control was, I'm sure, part of the reason that you your body was able to get pregnant. Oh, and you're younger than me, therefore, you could not be old Vacation was FUN, but HOT!! The girls had so much fun. And, packing, furniture delivery, cable installation this week.. moving will be mid-next week!

Kathleen - You are totally within your rights as a mama (with a newborn at that!!). I tend to not care much about what others think, if I believe in something. They'll get over it

[BC-Nico]

writer, I completely agree, be kind to yourself! It took me a long time not to feel sad about my miscarriage, particularly as I got to the due date and still wasn't pregnant. Even now I am sad sometimes because the genetic analysis said it was my girl It's particularly hard when you have people around you who are pg... don't feel bad for not feeling thrilled for them all the time. It's human.

Thanks for asking about Cam - we've only had two EI visits so far, but she's given us a lot of things to incorporate into our daily play with him. So far it seems like he's about 2-3 weeks behind, but meeting all his milestones at that point, and I wonder if it's because he was basically asleep for the first two weeks. I'm not planning on going back to work until next September at the earliest, and even then it would probably only be part time. I am going to start working on a book about HA - probably self-publishing. I was giving myself 12 weeks "maternity leave" and then going to get started - which is this week! I think my first step is going to be to put together a fairly comprehensive survey, and hopefully get a bunch of vets to take it to provide me with data

klc, I'm sorry about your friend. And that things have not worked out for you at this point for another pregnancy. I'm hoping they do one of these days.

kathleen, you had asked about our rewards system... I just posted all the details I could think of on my blog. I do sometimes say "If you do X I will give you a stone" but mostly I try to avoid that. I much prefer rewarding the good behaviour when it happens naturally rather than coaxing it out of them. How are you feeling, have you gotten a second opinion yet? And how is Maddie (she's your oldest, right?) doing these days? Still period-free?

jac, how are things with you?

Anyone else out there? I've seen a few recent posts on FB from cyclegirl, allisonr... looks like all the kids are doing well and growing so big! If you ever pop by, don't be a stranger!!