Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Vets - Take 2! PREG, M/C, CHILDREN MENT'D

[aya]

Just a quickie -

Bebe - this won't work for every personality but when Baby J has tantrums (and hers are pretty mild) I pretty much laugh at her; not so she feels I am making fun of her but so she kind of thinks I;m misreading her action or just finding her amusing. Totally deflates her and she most often ends up laughing with me. First time I did it because it was so darned funny, and she just couldn't keep up her anger. Give it a shot! It's so hard!!!

[ALP81]

bebe- C has some pretty ridiculous tantrums too. I try to give her a hug and usually she'll calm right down, then we can talk about it and if I ask her what's wrong she'll often tell me (though that's more recent since her vocabulary has exploded). I have also figured out a lot of what sets them off and try to avoid certain situations. There was one day at the end of July that she threw a 20 minute tantrum in the car when I was trying to get her into her carset after we left the store. She is so strong I couldn't do it because she was arching her back so much. We were both in tears, it was awful- but it was all because she was exhausted. I think it's a totally normal stage, and also means they have opinions which is really a good thing.

[Jaymie]

bebe- sorry about the tantrums! i dont really have any advice for you as Bella is pretty mild tempered! but i have heard both sides of the situation: to ignore them, or to comfort them! seems that comforting is working the best for you so i would just keep it up! seems to be pretty normal tho!

tras- floating? thats crazy! bella wouldnt even know where to start!

jamie- yes we are finding out the sex on thursday!! isnt it crazy these weird sickness/fevers always happen at night...why cant they happen right after breakfast so we can have the whole day to deal with it...while were awake, lol! glad shes ok!

carol- oh my your story scared me so much!! im so glad shes fine tho! i would've totally freaked out! any more episodes?? i havent read much about night terrors, did you do any more research on the topic? all i know is my sister told me her doc told her a night terror happens within the first few hours after going to bed i believe!

spin- hope avery is ok and its not the dreaded ear infection! how old is she now again?

so bella is definitely becoming all toddler, kinda has been for a while now but really when it comes to her eating! she is not only incredibly picky, she is now pretending to be silly and play and kind of lie in order to not eat! i wish just wish i could say fine then u wont eat, but then she'll be cranky and awful and wont sleep and still wont eat, just a viscous cycle! i dread having 2 just because of her whole eating fiasco's! in other words i just luv her sentences these days! i told her a guy next door was our 'neighbor' so this evening i found her on the back porch yelling to him, "neighbor, neighbooooor! Hi! How ya doooin?" they just amaze me how fast they pick up on things and remember them!!

nico- i saw timmy's cute phrase about not cooperating! lol thats definitely a good one!! arent they such a parrots? did u laugh? or keep a straight face?

[cyclegirl]

bebe- I'm interested to hear what others say on this b/c both of mine are definitely throwing tantrums every day. Aiden didn't really throw tantrums...either that or I just forgot! Hunter gets out of control, rolling around, screaming, etc. I usually just start reading/playing with Mazey or Aiden casually trying to bring him into the book or game and then he realizes he's missing out and stops. Have you read " The Happiest Toddler on the Block?" There are some great methods and ideas in there for speaking "toddler-ease" where you validate what they're feeling by acting similar to how they're acting. It really works but I find it sometimes hard for me to do in public or in the moment. Usually I just distract....okay, that was long-winded. One more thing about the book- he describes toddler behavior as that of a neanderthal and I think it's so true! Mine act like little cave people all day long!

[BC-Nico]

very quickie... bebe, I have also read the happiest toddler on the block, and have found that the one major technique of repeating back to them what they want in very short sentences really works to help get timmy's attention and calm him down when he's throwing a doozy. For example, the other day, he really wanted a lollipop, dad had said no because he had just pushed Antony, so Timmy climbed up on the stepstool to try and get them - I moved them elsewhere out of his reach and he was *furious*. So I just repeated, "WANT LOLLIPOP! Timmy want lollipop!", and he nodded at me and calmed down quite a lot, to where I was able to talk to him. So if you know what the tantrum is about, I recommend giving that a shot.

The other thing that really works for us, like with aya, is getting him to laugh. I'll blow raspberries on his belly, turn him upside down, tell him a knock knock joke (which he adores), that kind of thing.

jaymie, I couldn't help but giggle! Ant had asked for some snacks, though, and I told timmy he couldn't have any until he sat down, which he promptly did, "coopewating now!" he said

[jess04]

bebe-i use distraction most of the time with tantrums or ignore her. it's hard to do but normally it doesn't last too long. wow, 20 minutes? i think this age is tough b/c sometimes i don't understand want she wants.

alp-i hate when olivia does that when i try to put her in the carseat. it doesn't happen often but she arches her back too while screaming/kicking. she actually did it last week the day after her doctor's appt and i wondered if she was afraid thinking we were going back there.

nico-what cd are you on? you should be getting close.

jac-what's going on with you?

[allisonr]

Bebe - M is starting in on the tantrums too...they don't last as long as C's, but I'm glad you asked! I find she gets frustrated with things she can't physically master yet (like walk around in mine or A's flip flops for instance), or with transitions. Like she will be totally sick of doing something/getting bored and mad, but flip out when I try to move on to something else. She has also started biting again....ahhh! She is cutting her top canines now...it has been worse than her 1st molars were. Have you tried just picking him up and bringing him outside and showing him something? That form of distraction often works for M. Or is it impossible to even pick him up? I should try some of the "happiest toddler" tricks too.

Jac- I was just wondering about you this morning too...

Spin - Last week, Jeff and I both took a bit of time off work to cover, and also his parents are still in town for a couple more weeks, so they filled in some too. They spend a couple months in VT in the summer. We're bummed that they are leaving...it's rough every year. Especially for Alaina. Jeff and I finally have our date day on Saturday. We are going for a hike to a spot we used to do often before kids (weather dependent). It has gorgeous views and the fall color should be starting in the higher elevations. Then we'll do a late lunch with a few drinks after. Can't wait!

For those with older kids - has anyone gone through phases of their kids lying/fibbing? Alaina is really bad with it lately, ranging from little fibs to complete whoppers. I am starting to get worried about it. I hope it's a phase. I have been trying to talk with her about the importance of telling the truth, but so far, that hasn't been enough.

[bebetime]

thanks ladies for all the suggestions!! i am going to try them, and will also buy the happiest toddler book asap. sometimes, if i catch it early, he can be distracted and his attention is diverted. other times, he is too wound up for anything. its like he isnt even there (possessed!!)

spin - hows avery today? i am so not looking forward to cold season!!

aya -how are you?? how are things going with baby E & J?? when do you move?

jaymie - have you tried yogurt drinks? i swear its half of conors diet. i put it in a sippy cup and he sucks it down. i also do pediasure some. its not the best, but its calories!!

cycle/nico - i remember someone (nico?) brining up the neanderthal talk before. i tried it a few times a while ago and it somewhat worked, im going to have to try again!! sometimes conor doesnt seem to be breaking down over anything in particular, he will just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and when i go to get him out the crib he starts in. glad to know im not alone though!!

allison - actually, bringing him outside does seem to be the only thing that works (not all the time, but some). its hard because i have to somehow coax maddie out too, but its worth it when hes like that! im sorry, i cant be much help with the fibbing issue. although, it reminds me that the challenges i am going to face when they get older are just as tough, if not tougher to deal with than those i am dealing with now! its much more a mental challenge than a physical one!

[klc2007]

bebe - Grace used to be just like Conor (still is sometimes!) in that she would be fine one minute and then flipping out, throwing a tantrum over nothing in particular. And, I (because I am crazy) thought, "Oh my, maybe she is autistic!". I think it is hard with twins because you can't help but compare. Hannah is just more emotionally stable, if you can say that about a 2 year old. And, Hannah is a lot better at communicating and I think a lot of Gracie's frustration came from not being able to communicate as well. I would usually start by hugging her, telling it was okay, etc... But, if the irrational behavior continued, I just ignored her for a bit. If she came to me for comfort, I gave it but, otherwise I left her alone. I think a lot of it comes from frustration. It has to be like being in a foreign land where no one speaks your language for them sometimes.

[caroldes7]

allison- that does stink about your nanny last week. hopefully not a sign of things to come. going outside often works for sarah's tantrums, too. i am reading this book, nurture shock. really good and highly recommend. there is a chapter on lying. seems that all kids lie and lie a lot! they had some interesting research about trying to convey importance of honesty. here is a link to a blog that i read that summarized the chapter. Ask Moxie: Discussion of NurtureShock, Chapter 4 "Why Kids Lie" i would offer up my book when i'm done. but i got from library! oh your hike date sounds lovely!!!

actually recommend this book (nurture shock) to everyone. fascinating! from their websit.. "The central premise of this book is that many of modern society’s strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring – because key twists in the science have been overlooked. " so this book reviews research on topics such as lying, sibling rivalry, talking about race, testing for giftedness, speech development....

bebe- i'm sorry your mom is losing her hair (meant to post that before). also, we (I work at ACS) have a hotline 1800-ACS-2345 that can provide all sorts of info and resources of you or she or another family member ever needs... like what to eat during treatment, etc. just in case you guys mind need some extra info... i'm excited for your u/s!!

re: tantrums. we do distraction usually with going outside or a book. and that works pretty well. when i need her to do something she doesn't want, the silly stuff often works. we play this game where we look for bumble bees in each others ears... and find them going bzzzz bzzz with our fingers. she LOVES that!

nic- when did you start knock knock? i don't think sarah would get it yet.