I need some IVF support

lawton · 01-17-2007, 11:05 AM

I realize I put this up responding to another guy's comment. I'm new at posting on this site and am figuring it out. So, I want to put this out to the larger group.

I apologize in advance for not knowing abbreviations. My wife and I did a few rounds of IUI, and are in our first round of IVF. We get the results of the pregnancy test this weekend, and I'm freaking out! I'm also dealing with the guilt of being the person in our marriage with infertility problems: she's normal, while I have fairly significant morphology problems. The guilt surrounds her being the one taking all the drugs, the shots, etc., and I'm the one with issues. On an intellectual level, she understands, but emotionally she just can't. Are their other men out there who could relate? And because she's dealing with all her emotional stuff (e.g. not being pregnant, shots at 530 a.m., etc.) she let me know last night that she's dealing with so much that she doesn't have any capacity for supporting me in the way I need. Hence, here I am writing all of you. It's so difficult because all of my/our issues are inflamed right now. Although we're communicating fairly well some of the time, it's still tough. I welcome any and all support. Thanks in advance.

The Writer · 03-15-2007, 09:25 PM

I'm curious to know how it's going?? Hope you read this...

lawton · 03-16-2007, 08:44 AM

Thanks for asking. Things are going really well. IVF-ICSI worked the first time, and we're just about three months pregnant. Although my wife hasn't thrown up in the a.m., yet, she generally feels awful. Kind of a day-after-day of the flu. Because of the drugs, she has shown really early, so it's really cool to feel her belly, talk to the baby, etc. After trying to wear baggy clothes and trying to hide her showing (because she showed really early), she's given up and has started telling people. You can't hide pregnancy for long...She did shots and inserts and then transitioned to inserts 2x/day. We were supposed to finish today, but after tears and generally feeling awful, we stopped them a day early. All-in-all though it's going great! It's been good practice for me to be running around doing stuff and all hours of the day/night, on top of working two jobs. And for you???

The Writer · 03-16-2007, 10:48 AM

this is great news! yes, the inserts are awful (i know, i'm a woman!). don't worry, once her body "takes over" the manufacturing of its own hormones, things level off. she'll start to feel like her old self again...promise. i have a 2 year old girl, thanks to ivf/icsi. it took us 8 transfers and 7 years!...so consider yourself VERY lucky!

i'm actually writing a book about multiple ivf's...since it takes on it's own very specific problems...so i was interested in hearing how it went for you. thanks for filling me in and good luck!!! this is a very special time...oh and no matter how awful she gets (and she WILL get awful), give her the benefit of the doubt...creating another human in your own body is literally a mind altering experience...it sounds like you are a great husband...so i'm not too worried!!!

have fun!!

lawton · 03-16-2007, 11:02 AM

Thanks, you made me laugh. I'm going to forward what you wrote to my wife, as I think she'd find it helpful and/or reassuring. I know that we were really lucky. We had 13 viable embryos, so we could have kept going without TOO much added expense. Still, it has been expensive!!! I'm glad all of it was all worth it for you, too.

lawton · 03-16-2007, 11:04 AM

Oh, and I could be any help for what you're writing (even as a counterbalance to those with multiple IVF attempts,) I'd be happy to share... At the least, I'd be interested in reading your book. Hope getting it published is easier than getting pregnant!

The Writer · 03-19-2007, 10:37 PM

now you made me laugh! i'd love for you to share some of the feelings you had about having to do ivf...any perspective from the male side is great! i'll keep looking here, or visit my blog at www.thewatermelonwish.blogspot.com
i just started it, so any content is greatly appreciated! k.i.t. and yes, let's hope it's easier to publish!

01-17-2007, 11:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
lawton Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 10	I need some IVF support I realize I put this up responding to another guy's comment. I'm new at posting on this site and am figuring it out. So, I want to put this out to the larger group. I apologize in advance for not knowing abbreviations. My wife and I did a few rounds of IUI, and are in our first round of IVF. We get the results of the pregnancy test this weekend, and I'm freaking out! I'm also dealing with the guilt of being the person in our marriage with infertility problems: she's normal, while I have fairly significant morphology problems. The guilt surrounds her being the one taking all the drugs, the shots, etc., and I'm the one with issues. On an intellectual level, she understands, but emotionally she just can't. Are their other men out there who could relate? And because she's dealing with all her emotional stuff (e.g. not being pregnant, shots at 530 a.m., etc.) she let me know last night that she's dealing with so much that she doesn't have any capacity for supporting me in the way I need. Hence, here I am writing all of you. It's so difficult because all of my/our issues are inflamed right now. Although we're communicating fairly well some of the time, it's still tough. I welcome any and all support. Thanks in advance.

03-15-2007, 09:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
The Writer Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Malibu, CA Posts: 46	how did it go? I'm curious to know how it's going?? Hope you read this...

03-16-2007, 10:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
The Writer Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Malibu, CA Posts: 46	congrats!!! this is great news! yes, the inserts are awful (i know, i'm a woman!). don't worry, once her body "takes over" the manufacturing of its own hormones, things level off. she'll start to feel like her old self again...promise. i have a 2 year old girl, thanks to ivf/icsi. it took us 8 transfers and 7 years!...so consider yourself VERY lucky! i'm actually writing a book about multiple ivf's...since it takes on it's own very specific problems...so i was interested in hearing how it went for you. thanks for filling me in and good luck!!! this is a very special time...oh and no matter how awful she gets (and she WILL get awful), give her the benefit of the doubt...creating another human in your own body is literally a mind altering experience...it sounds like you are a great husband...so i'm not too worried!!! have fun!!

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03-16-2007, 08:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
lawton Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 10	Thanks for asking. Things are going really well. IVF-ICSI worked the first time, and we're just about three months pregnant. Although my wife hasn't thrown up in the a.m., yet, she generally feels awful. Kind of a day-after-day of the flu. Because of the drugs, she has shown really early, so it's really cool to feel her belly, talk to the baby, etc. After trying to wear baggy clothes and trying to hide her showing (because she showed really early), she's given up and has started telling people. You can't hide pregnancy for long...She did shots and inserts and then transitioned to inserts 2x/day. We were supposed to finish today, but after tears and generally feeling awful, we stopped them a day early. All-in-all though it's going great! It's been good practice for me to be running around doing stuff and all hours of the day/night, on top of working two jobs. And for you???

03-16-2007, 11:02 AM	#5 (permalink)
lawton Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 10	Thanks, you made me laugh. I'm going to forward what you wrote to my wife, as I think she'd find it helpful and/or reassuring. I know that we were really lucky. We had 13 viable embryos, so we could have kept going without TOO much added expense. Still, it has been expensive!!! I'm glad all of it was all worth it for you, too.

03-16-2007, 11:04 AM	#6 (permalink)
lawton Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 10	Oh, and I could be any help for what you're writing (even as a counterbalance to those with multiple IVF attempts,) I'd be happy to share... At the least, I'd be interested in reading your book. Hope getting it published is easier than getting pregnant!

03-19-2007, 10:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
The Writer Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Malibu, CA Posts: 46	now you made me laugh! i'd love for you to share some of the feelings you had about having to do ivf...any perspective from the male side is great! i'll keep looking here, or visit my blog at www.thewatermelonwish.blogspot.com i just started it, so any content is greatly appreciated! k.i.t. and yes, let's hope it's easier to publish!