Varicocele/SA/Sperm Donor Question

03-14-2005, 01:41 PM

My DH and I have beent trying to conceive for 3 years. It seems like forever. He was diagnosed with a varicocele in his right and left side. He had the varicocele embolization done on both sides. The ultrasound showed the repair took. 3 months and 6 months after there was no improvement to his sperm count of 2 million or for his poor morphology. At six months we did one round of icsi but no luck.

Has anyone had luck with improved sperm count/morphology with this low of count?

Before we event tried icsi my DH approached me about considering Donor sperm. I was strongly apposed to the idea. After the failed icsi attempt and finally agreed to try. We pick a donor but could only get 2 samples. It was really difficult to do it. It did not work for us which is not uncommon for only 2 tries.

He is an amazing man for being the one to look at donor. He felt that somewhere deep down he always knew he may have a problem fathering a child but can't explain why. To him it is just important to have a child no matter how they come into this world. He is extremely comfortable with himself and does not feel that being a "man" is defined by the fact you can get your wife pregnant. To him being a man is so much about being there for your family and loving them unconditionally.

I am at a stage right now where we have purchased four samples of another donor. I thought I was okay with it, but I am feeling so unsure. I ask my DH to go back for another sperm analysis and he had agreed, but he really wants to move forward with the donor.

I guess my issus always comes back to how I feel about the whole thing. I want his genetic child and can't seem to work past this.

Do any of the males out there have any insight to this. Hope it is cool I am asking.

Thanks,

TiG

lurker DH · 03-14-2005, 04:46 PM

Hello,

We used donor sperm for 1 IVF and have used donor embryos, we are also seeking donor embryos currently, my wife and I both feel that biologically it doesnt matter but it does however give her the ability to become PG. Everyone of ocourse will be different

Good Luck

Doc · 03-15-2005, 02:42 PM

If your DH doesn't have a problem with this you shouldn't let it bother you. There have been others on here who couldn't agree to using donors and that created a lot of conflict in their relationships.

Hurricane · 03-17-2005, 04:51 PM

I understand how you feel. I am going throught the same thing right now.

I just keep holding on to the moment that I see that child - all the worry, frustration, fears and doubt will melt away. It will not be some kid from donor sperm but DH's and my child.

Good luck to you!

PS - If you havent - get the book "Helping the Stork". It is about donor insemination and it may help you more than we can.

03-21-2005, 05:40 PM

Thanks for all your replies. It helps. DH and I did the sperm donor yesterday. Feeling better about things. Can't wait to get off this roller coaster ride. My DH is the most amazing person I know and that was proved once again yesterday. Sometimes we focus too much on how it affects us and don't see all the pain our DH are in.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone. Let's hope one day we are all surrounding by screaming little ones that are driving us crazy

TiG

Hurricane · 05-01-2005, 02:38 PM

I am now in my 2ww from donor sperm too! Hope we are both soon to be PG!

lurker DH · 05-02-2005, 08:18 AM

Tig and Hurricane

GOOD LUCK TO BOTH OF U

Prayers and psoitive thoughts

Mike

Bigdaddy · 08-09-2005, 01:37 AM

Hi Tig and Hurricane
I Am a C/F carrier and therefore have a zero sperm count. dw and I are having to go down the donor road. At first it took a while to get my head around but with a bit of time i have become comfortable with the decision.I know i won't be the biological father but it takes more than just blood lines to be a good father, at the end of the day we just want to have kids and we know that we will love them just the same.

03-14-2005, 01:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
tig Guest Posts: n/a	Varicocele/SA/Sperm Donor Question My DH and I have beent trying to conceive for 3 years. It seems like forever. He was diagnosed with a varicocele in his right and left side. He had the varicocele embolization done on both sides. The ultrasound showed the repair took. 3 months and 6 months after there was no improvement to his sperm count of 2 million or for his poor morphology. At six months we did one round of icsi but no luck. Has anyone had luck with improved sperm count/morphology with this low of count? Before we event tried icsi my DH approached me about considering Donor sperm. I was strongly apposed to the idea. After the failed icsi attempt and finally agreed to try. We pick a donor but could only get 2 samples. It was really difficult to do it. It did not work for us which is not uncommon for only 2 tries. He is an amazing man for being the one to look at donor. He felt that somewhere deep down he always knew he may have a problem fathering a child but can't explain why. To him it is just important to have a child no matter how they come into this world. He is extremely comfortable with himself and does not feel that being a "man" is defined by the fact you can get your wife pregnant. To him being a man is so much about being there for your family and loving them unconditionally. I am at a stage right now where we have purchased four samples of another donor. I thought I was okay with it, but I am feeling so unsure. I ask my DH to go back for another sperm analysis and he had agreed, but he really wants to move forward with the donor. I guess my issus always comes back to how I feel about the whole thing. I want his genetic child and can't seem to work past this. Do any of the males out there have any insight to this. Hope it is cool I am asking. Thanks, TiG

03-14-2005, 04:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
lurker DH Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NY Posts: 971	Hello, We used donor sperm for 1 IVF and have used donor embryos, we are also seeking donor embryos currently, my wife and I both feel that biologically it doesnt matter but it does however give her the ability to become PG. Everyone of ocourse will be different Good Luck __________________ Mike Buddy's DH

05-02-2005, 08:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
lurker DH Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NY Posts: 971	Tig and Hurricane GOOD LUCK TO BOTH OF U Prayers and psoitive thoughts Mike __________________ Mike Buddy's DH

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03-15-2005, 02:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
Doc Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 212	If your DH doesn't have a problem with this you shouldn't let it bother you. There have been others on here who couldn't agree to using donors and that created a lot of conflict in their relationships.

03-17-2005, 04:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
Hurricane Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 8	I understand how you feel. I am going throught the same thing right now. I just keep holding on to the moment that I see that child - all the worry, frustration, fears and doubt will melt away. It will not be some kid from donor sperm but DH's and my child. Good luck to you! PS - If you havent - get the book "Helping the Stork". It is about donor insemination and it may help you more than we can.

03-21-2005, 05:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
tig Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks for all your replies. It helps. DH and I did the sperm donor yesterday. Feeling better about things. Can't wait to get off this roller coaster ride. My DH is the most amazing person I know and that was proved once again yesterday. Sometimes we focus too much on how it affects us and don't see all the pain our DH are in. Good luck and best wishes to everyone. Let's hope one day we are all surrounding by screaming little ones that are driving us crazy TiG

05-01-2005, 02:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Hurricane Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 8	I am now in my 2ww from donor sperm too! Hope we are both soon to be PG!

08-09-2005, 01:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bigdaddy Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: australia Posts: 3	Hi Tig and Hurricane I Am a C/F carrier and therefore have a zero sperm count. dw and I are having to go down the donor road. At first it took a while to get my head around but with a bit of time i have become comfortable with the decision.I know i won't be the biological father but it takes more than just blood lines to be a good father, at the end of the day we just want to have kids and we know that we will love them just the same.