Cussing in church

[Ronen]

A crusty old man walks into the local Lutheran Church and
says to the secretary, "I would like to join this **** church."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I
must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, **** it. I said I want to join this **** church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to
inform him of her situation.

The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that
foul language.
They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old>geezer,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no **** problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million
bucks in the **** lottery and I want to join this **** church to get
rid of some of this **** money. "
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this ***** giving you a hard time?"

[melisa07]

That was hilarious!!

[KAMILI]

Here's one:

No Cussing In Church

A man went to church one day and afterward he
stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said,
"Preacher, I'll tell you WHAT, that was a d@mned
fine sermon. D@mned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd
rather you didn't use
that kind of language in the Lord's House.

The man said, "I was so d@mned impressed with
that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering
plate!"

The preacher said, "No $hit?"

[SuzCa]

A pastor and an avid golfer buddy were on the links. Every time the buddy missed the shot, he'd yell "g' dam it! followed by other colorful language. "Please Fred", the pastor admonished, do not take the Lord's name in vane. I can tolerate the rest of it, but you risk incurring the wrath of God with your blasphemy." "Sorry father" said Fred. But it happened over and over and the pastor had to remind Fred of the the risk.

Finally, on the last hole, the two men had even scores. Pastor putted and sank the ball. Fred missed by less than an inch. G dam ^&**&*(&*(**(*! he yelled and threw his club straight up in the air. Before the pastor could voice his objections, clouds quickly formed and parted. A lightening bolt shot from the sky. All that was left as a charred spot on the cool green grass and a golf club lying quietly next to it.






















Fred looked up as a low rumbling voice boomed from the heavens: " Dammit......missed again!"