Is this flirty or irritating? - Page 3

**BC-AmymOH** · 05-13-2009, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pattycakemom

All that matters is that it is disrespectful to you. It is your body, and you make the rules. I am sorry your DH isn't hearing you about this.

I agree with this. I also don't think he should do it when you're holding Wyatt, or where Wyatt can see it happening.

Personally for ME, it wouldn't bother me. I'd find it fun and flirty (which is what I voted). All that matters though is how it makes YOU feel. If YOU aren't comfortable with it, then your dh needs to listen!

Aarin · 05-13-2009, 01:03 PM

My so is the same way. sometimes it really bothers me, other times I blow it off as his way of showing that he loves my bod.

Blessedmama24 · 05-13-2009, 01:05 PM

I am like NL

. It wouldnt/ doesnt bother me. If it bothers you then he shouldnt do it period.

**BC-Christina~FL** · 05-13-2009, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virga

It's rude!

Please pardon my boldness, but have you discussed counseling with your husband? From what I know of him based on what you write, he does not see past his nose regarding his sexual relationship with you. He rarely if ever meets you in the middle, he pouts, he ignores your desires, he feeds his own desires like a child with no self control. I honestly don't know how you contend with it as well as you do.

I had the same thoughts

Kylie · 05-13-2009, 01:09 PM

I don't get groped daily like you, but I actually appreciate it when dh grabs my rear once in a while. It makes me think he still wants me after 20 yrs

.

smileygirl · 05-13-2009, 01:10 PM

In your case, I think he's being completely disrespectful. It sounds like you've voiced your opinion on how it makes you feel and he's ignoring that. Sorry.

For ME, I voted it's irritating. Dh, also a boob man (mine only

), often tries to grab at me. Right now, while I'm breastfeeding a baby, the "girls" are extra sensitive and sometimes full and it's just not comfortable for him to grope my breasts. He also likes to swat me on the behind (love taps), which sometimes I dislike, especially if I'm in the middle of doing something else. I don't mind when it's a mutual thing if we are flirting/playing around or as foreplay.

SuzCa · 05-13-2009, 01:27 PM

Seriously, next unwanted grab tell him it just cost him a BJ. Then mean it. Tell him no sex for a week. Go manhandle himself. If he pouts or behaves badly, add a day of abstinence. He will eventually figure it out. Go back and read Magic 123. It works for children and it should work for men who act like children.

Really, considering that you are trying to heal emotionally and physically right now, and just need hugs, you do not owe bj's, and should NOT be grabbed. I just want to take a 2X4 to him. His behavior is painfully self centered.

**BC-AmandaG** · 05-13-2009, 01:28 PM

Aren't all men booby men?

I voted other. My DH does this on occasion too. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. It really depends on 1) if the kids are around and 2) what kind of day I've had. If I've had a great day and he's helping and I'm in a generally good (playful) mood, I don't mind and I'll play along. If I'm tired, stressed out, he's being a dork (not helping or something else like that) and he starts doing it, its a real irritation.

**BC-tess** · 05-13-2009, 01:29 PM

If I asked my dh to stop like you did then it would be disrespectful.

Me personally would not mind it, as long as it isn't done in front of the kids or in public. I would find it to be flirting and harmless.

scraphappy · 05-13-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebekah

My DH is the SAME WAY and I pretty much feel the same way about it you do. My DH has gotten a little (very little) better about it over the years and me having several chats with him about it but he still does it. I agree with you that it's rude and irritating and just down right disrespectful. Unfortunately I have no advice to give regarding how to make it stop!

Ditto word for word. Thanks for posting this, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.

View Poll Results: How do you feel?
It's irritating	27	27.27%
It's disrespectful	36	36.36%
It's fun/flirty	9	9.09%
It's not fun for me, but I tolerate it for DH/partner	2	2.02%
It depends on my mood	19	19.19%
Other?	6	6.06%
Voters: 99. You may not vote on this poll

05-13-2009, 01:03 PM	#22 (permalink)
Aarin 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Somewhere between here and there Posts: 6,923 Blog Entries: 104	My so is the same way. sometimes it really bothers me, other times I blow it off as his way of showing that he loves my bod. __________________ Aarin Doda 8 Nana 5 Max 1 Maturity is the ability to control our impulses , to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will effect ourselves and others.

05-13-2009, 01:05 PM	#23 (permalink)
Blessedmama24 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 4,065 Blog Entries: 11	I am like NL . It wouldnt/ doesnt bother me. If it bothers you then he shouldnt do it period. __________________ test

05-13-2009, 01:10 PM	#26 (permalink)
smileygirl 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Sweetheart State Posts: 20,304 Blog Entries: 336	In your case, I think he's being completely disrespectful. It sounds like you've voiced your opinion on how it makes you feel and he's ignoring that. Sorry. For ME, I voted it's irritating. Dh, also a boob man (mine only ), often tries to grab at me. Right now, while I'm breastfeeding a baby, the "girls" are extra sensitive and sometimes full and it's just not comfortable for him to grope my breasts. He also likes to swat me on the behind (love taps), which sometimes I dislike, especially if I'm in the middle of doing something else. I don't mind when it's a mutual thing if we are flirting/playing around or as foreplay. __________________ Lindsay & ~ 02/03 ~ 01/06 ~ 12/08

05-13-2009, 01:27 PM	#27 (permalink)
SuzCa 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: So Cal Posts: 4,640 Blog Entries: 74	Seriously, next unwanted grab tell him it just cost him a BJ. Then mean it. Tell him no sex for a week. Go manhandle himself. If he pouts or behaves badly, add a day of abstinence. He will eventually figure it out. Go back and read Magic 123. It works for children and it should work for men who act like children. Really, considering that you are trying to heal emotionally and physically right now, and just need hugs, you do not owe bj's, and should NOT be grabbed. I just want to take a 2X4 to him. His behavior is painfully self centered. __________________ DD Sophia, Eight Years Old! Breast Cancer Survivor - In Support of all of our survivors! "Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Randy Pausch


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05-13-2009, 01:09 PM	#25 (permalink)
Kylie 10000-15000 post ace of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Almost There Posts: 18,140 Blog Entries: 399	I don't get groped daily like you, but I actually appreciate it when dh grabs my rear once in a while. It makes me think he still wants me after 20 yrs .

05-13-2009, 01:28 PM	#28 (permalink)
BC-AmandaG Homeschooling Board Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Beehive State Posts: 10,208 Blog Entries: 30	Aren't all men booby men? I voted other. My DH does this on occasion too. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. It really depends on 1) if the kids are around and 2) what kind of day I've had. If I've had a great day and he's helping and I'm in a generally good (playful) mood, I don't mind and I'll play along. If I'm tired, stressed out, he's being a dork (not helping or something else like that) and he starts doing it, its a real irritation. __________________ Amanda, blessed homeschooling mom to three gorgeous, smart, sweet and funny girls and one handsome baby boy! 8/95 6/99 4/03 11/09 m/c 02/08

05-13-2009, 01:29 PM	#29 (permalink)
BC-tess 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Lancaster Co., Pennsylvania Posts: 6,410	If I asked my dh to stop like you did then it would be disrespectful. Me personally would not mind it, as long as it isn't done in front of the kids or in public. I would find it to be flirting and harmless. __________________ Take Care and God Bless Tess China Angel - 1998 Korea Angel - 2000

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