FertileThoughts.com - Infertility, adoption, pregnancy and parenting discussions
Looking for a Fertility Doctor? 855-491-2833

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    angelady
    is hopeful!
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    toronto, canada
    Posts
    260
    Post Thanks / Like

    almost 5 months -- trying to find ways to cope...

    hi everyone,

    i did my message already but when posting it got erased so i'll make this one a lot shorter. my LO is almost 5 months (i can't believe it!!!) and we are slowly getting there -- colic, now likely teething. it has felt like a very long 5 months for me and i am now trying to reach out for help so that i can manage the last 1/2 of maternity leave, and hoping she continues to cool down as the months/weeks go by.

    my issues:

    napping -- in 3rd month - LO was napping through the day 2-3 hours per nap. however now finding it hard to get her to stretch even to an hour, often times stirring by 1/2 hour time...and that is after 2-3 hr of constant 1:1 with feeding/changing/playing/soothing/lullaby...almost no sit-down on her own time, even for a few minutes before crying/restless. so i feel like i'm putting tonnes of work in but getting very little break back out.

    sleeping -- in 3rd month baby was starting to sleep for longer stretches through the night and it was great for me. didn't last long though, by the time we hit the 4th month and 4 month sleep regression (i think) that reversed back to her waking every 3 hours almost on cue again. someone here gave me advice to try to wean her from her car seat as maybe it was uncomfortable for her, so last night i weaned her to a wedge i bought (tucker wedge). uhhh...it went 'okay'. still 3 hours on cue, maybe even a little tighter time limit than that...and took her a bit longer to ease back to sleep...wheras in car seat went back to sleep right away almost. by this morning i felt like a zombie, and baby was wide awake wanting up, i barely had the energy to walk to her crib...but we did get through the morning.

    so now i have a nanny come in 2 mornings a week, and also i use the drop-off program at the community centre to drop off the baby for 2 hour intervals of sitting just to get a break, and have been using it to nap, watch t.v. and rest. and at the gym they have babysitting for 2 hour max, so that is also a mini-break when i go there. i hope the baby deosn't feel like she's being carted around...but as i'm practically the sole caregiver, husband work and although he loves LO not really that good with the baby, i feel like these are my only alternatives to help me.

    does anyone have a similar experience, and if so, did your baby start calming down soon...they say by 5-6 months when they can start holding stuff in their little hands to entertain themselves a bit/sit on their own, it gets a bit easier...i hope so.

    if any one has any (supportive) feedback/advice i would really appreciate it...thanks!
    me: 37, unexplained, short luteal phase
    dh: 33, borderline low sc

    jan/feb: medicated cycle with folllistim
    feb 2: trigger shot feb 3/4: b2b iui's
    feb 12: 9dpo faint +hpt !!!!
    feb 16th (13dpiui): beta 96
    feb 26th (23 dpo): 8000+
    mar 4th (30dpo): 36000+
    mar 7th: 1st u/s -- sweet heartbeat 125!!!



  2. Advertisement


  3. #2
    JAS
    In awe of my life
    Registered User
    JAS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Sunny CA
    Posts
    1,372
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Amazed
    I'm sorry your having such a hard time. My two year old was colic and her infant hood was identical to what you describe. She was a horrible sleeper starting at about four months. 30 minute naps. It was exhausting. I never got a break and had no help!!! I got through it a day at a time and you will too. Five months for all my kids was the most frustrating. They can't entertain themselves and get frustrated. It will get better as soon as she becomes more mobile. Don't forget to enjoy her. This is all part of being a parent. It's a huge sacrifice!! Breaks will make you a better parent so take them when you feel overwhelmed. I wish you luck.
    ME ~ 46 : DH ~ 48
    3 boys
    3 girls
    #7 born 4/3/2012
    Our family is complete
    thanks to the gift of adoption!!


  4. #3
    SC-Sherb
    living in CrazyTown!
    SC, BC of GP, 2WW & Preg after Loss-M/C
    Over 5,000 Post SC-Sherb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    10,962
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    7
    My Mood
    Busy
    Angelady, Hun big hugs. Your LO sounds like my DS#1. He was extremely colic. I wasn't working when he was born and my DH had to take parental leave to help me because I was only getting maybe 2 hrs sleep per night.

    He never slept in his crib. Slept in one of our chests until he was almost 6 mths old and then just slept in our bed. I had pancreatitis when he was 3 mths old and was in the hospital for a week. My DH had no choice but to help out because he was the only caregiver. Your DH has to give you a break. Even if he can do a feeding one night when he's off to let you sleep. You can't do this all by yourself.

    Have you tried a bouncy chair? That was my saving grace with DS#3 and he spent many nights sleeping next to the couch. I also napped with them during the day if the night before was really bad

    Unfortunately, my DS#1 didn't start sleeping through the night (6 + hrs) until he as almost 10mths old. I know that that seems daunting but you will get through it.

    Do you have an ever saucer or something that your LO can play in for a short period of time even while you just sit and watch tv or fold clothes, anything. I put them on the floor surrounded b pillows with toys just to get them to learn to be by themselves for a bit.

    Again, I know it feels like it will never end but you will get there and as much as I know your DH works a lot (mine is a police officer and has crazy hours) but when he is home, he has to give you a break. He has to learn to take care of the baby, even if its just an hour for you to unwind.

    Where in TO are you? I'm just 20 mins west of TO.
    Me 44/DH 44 Celebrating 22 yrs of marriage!!!

    DS#1 - August 31, 1993 (21)
    DD - February 15, 1997 (17)
    DS#2 - August 25, 2008 (6)

    2 - both at 10 weeks (1989 & Oct/07)
    Likes angelady liked this post


  5. #4
    angelady
    is hopeful!
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    toronto, canada
    Posts
    260
    Post Thanks / Like
    SC-Sherb,

    thank you so much for that feedback...it really does help. these stories of babies similar to mine give me a lot of encouragement and i'm glad i post here to get feedback, hear other perspectives. i always go back to things that didn't work before just to see how she'll do...i am getting her to sit in her bouncy chair a bit through the day while i do dishes in front of her, her time is building...she can sit for ~ 10 minutes before full out fussing. she does longer if i'm right in front of her when she's on it. i got an exercauser 2nd hand from mil, and i think she is too small for this particular one and her feet dont touch the ground on it, but will come back to it later, maybe in the summer...maybe i'll try to get another one 2nd hand that is for a smaller baby (its hard to do these errands as a ~ sole caregiver) since i'm trying to get her out of the carseat now (the wedge-thingie really didn't work --i think she felt like she was suspended in air) we were considering her sleep in her bouncy chair inside the crib and see how that goes. i bought a bumbo chair today, so hopefully she will enjoy some sit up time and that can keep her a bit occupied.

    unfortunately dh has sleep disorder and has to take high dose of prescription meds to sleep at night! lol! so that pretty much leaves it all to me through the night.

    i'm sorry, i didn't read your profile close enough before...nice to know you're near T.O. that's amazing! i'm in the east, in durham.
    me: 37, unexplained, short luteal phase
    dh: 33, borderline low sc

    jan/feb: medicated cycle with folllistim
    feb 2: trigger shot feb 3/4: b2b iui's
    feb 12: 9dpo faint +hpt !!!!
    feb 16th (13dpiui): beta 96
    feb 26th (23 dpo): 8000+
    mar 4th (30dpo): 36000+
    mar 7th: 1st u/s -- sweet heartbeat 125!!!



  6. #5
    lianyla
    has no status.
    Registered User

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    2,297
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Fine
    Hi! YES!! I had a baby that was impossible.. oh wait! I had (have) IDENTICAL TWINS that were colicky, refluxey messes!! It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. I mean, HARD, like I cried myself to sleep for the first year. (I still do sometimes and they're five and 1/2.)

    But YES> You are doing the right thing! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Get breaks from the baby as much as you can and just get through it hour by hour. As time goes by, things will get different, you will have sleep. This is huge.

    In the meantime, read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." If you can get baby on an excellent sleep schedule you're halfway there. Sleep is as important as food.

    Hang in there. This will pass. Baby will grow up. Trust me. I truly felt like I was dying. I made it though and you will too. Message me if you want to talk.
    Likes BC-Sparrow, angelady liked this post


  7. #6
    BC-Sparrow
    has no status.
    Board Coordinator
    BC-Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    883
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Busy
    (((Hugs)))
    I agree with the Healthy Sleep Habits book. Hope things get a little easier soon!



    February '10- FET... BFP!
    Boy/Girl TWINS


  8. #7
    SC-Sherb
    living in CrazyTown!
    SC, BC of GP, 2WW & Preg after Loss-M/C
    Over 5,000 Post SC-Sherb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    10,962
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    7
    My Mood
    Busy
    Durham isn't too far at all. I don't get out that way very often however. Used to when dd played hockey in north York but now she plays in north halton, so she plays out that way mostly - Guelph, Burlington, etc...

    Maybe your DH could give you some free time in the evenings then before he goes to bed. Even an hour would do so much for you. The bouncy chair will hopefully help and again, I don't know what kind of crib you have but if its a convertible' you could take the one side off and push it up against your bed. My DS#2 slept better just knowing I was close and in arms reach.
    Me 44/DH 44 Celebrating 22 yrs of marriage!!!

    DS#1 - August 31, 1993 (21)
    DD - February 15, 1997 (17)
    DS#2 - August 25, 2008 (6)

    2 - both at 10 weeks (1989 & Oct/07)


  9. #8
    angelady
    is hopeful!
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    toronto, canada
    Posts
    260
    Post Thanks / Like
    hi,

    things are getting a little better...sleep time has definitely settled down since i transitioned her out of the car seat to flat lying...shes on a slight wedge incline and cuddled a bit to feel more cozy and generally doing well. she puts down ~ 730pm and then 11/12 for feed and then again at ~ 5 in the morning.

    i find she still seems to need A LOT of play before getting tired to take a nap, but im still keeping an eye, using community programs as i can and see how she does. i will write a longer note later (got a cold from being run down!)...but happy that i'm getting at least a little rest at night
    me: 37, unexplained, short luteal phase
    dh: 33, borderline low sc

    jan/feb: medicated cycle with folllistim
    feb 2: trigger shot feb 3/4: b2b iui's
    feb 12: 9dpo faint +hpt !!!!
    feb 16th (13dpiui): beta 96
    feb 26th (23 dpo): 8000+
    mar 4th (30dpo): 36000+
    mar 7th: 1st u/s -- sweet heartbeat 125!!!



  10. #9
    BC-Sparrow
    has no status.
    Board Coordinator
    BC-Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    883
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Busy
    Great news! Hope you feel better!



    February '10- FET... BFP!
    Boy/Girl TWINS


  11. #10
    SC-Sherb
    living in CrazyTown!
    SC, BC of GP, 2WW & Preg after Loss-M/C
    Over 5,000 Post SC-Sherb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    10,962
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    7
    My Mood
    Busy
    That's great Hun. There will be hiccups along the way but things will continue to get better.
    Me 44/DH 44 Celebrating 22 yrs of marriage!!!

    DS#1 - August 31, 1993 (21)
    DD - February 15, 1997 (17)
    DS#2 - August 25, 2008 (6)

    2 - both at 10 weeks (1989 & Oct/07)


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Trying to find help (pg and m/c ment)
    By Teena in forum Coping with Pregnancy Loss
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-20-2005, 09:04 AM
  2. Help!! Trying to find a fabric design.
    By Monette in forum Decorating/Sewing and other Hobbies
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-07-2005, 06:48 PM
  3. Trying to find how to get idea to help others rolling
    By mbump2 in forum Financing your IVF
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-10-2005, 12:01 PM
  4. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-01-2005, 06:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DISCLAIMER: Fertile Thoughts allows advertisers to publish information about their services. Fertile Thoughts does not provide medical advice or endorse any particular service or approach to treating infertility. We encourage people to learn as much as possible about the range of options available before committing to any one. We also encourage users to share their thoughts on all fertility options on our forums.

Forum Stats

  • Forum Members: 83,904
  • Total Threads: 367,513
  • Total Posts: 4,803,585
There are 1367 users currently browsing forums.

Advertisement

Visit Our Partner Sites: Fertility Treatments