My handsome, smart brother is drinking himself to death...anyone ever see someone

[ClaireNola]

turn this around? My brother will turn 45 next year. He started drinking in high school. Made it through college, married a beautiful sweet girl, had a gorgeous home/great career for a few years. Cheated on my ex SIL, married the mistress, went to rehab, got fired from great job, got another job, divorced mistress, wrecked car, lost house, moved in with my mom, was on serious meds (antidepressants, some drug that makes you sick if you drink), attending AA, lost job, got another job, is drinking again.... regularly. Such a sad sad sad mess. Someone with so much potential and talent and cannot seem to stay sober. My grandmother was an alcoholic, first cousin on same side died at 42 from a lifetime of alcohol abuse.

So.... we don't have much of a relationship, he's stressing my mom out big time. Has anyone ever seen this type of person able to come back from such a pit? Thanks for reading

[SamsMom]

Yes, I saw my MIL turn it around 10 years ago. She drank for years, and ultimately hit someone while driving. She was court-ordered to a 30-day treatment facility. At the same time, we told her we were expecting DS, and if she continued to drink, she'd never see her grandson. She hasn't drunk since, and still attends AA meetings. Good luck, I know how hard it is.

[AMF]

Yes, success is a possibility... and even if your brother never stops drinking...there is always hope. Having grown up in a family of alcoholics I know well that alcoholism is a family disease and you might want to give Al Anon a try. It works. I am sorry about your brother. I will hope and pray that he is able to get his life back together and quickly, but it's never too late for him, or for you and your family. and to answer your original question..I have seen miracles happen and seen the most hardcore alcoholics find sobriety.

[AmymOH]

I'm sorry, I don't know anyone who's turned it around. Just wanted to say that I can imagine how much this breaks your heart. I was super super close to a guy a few years younger than me. I'm so close to the family that I even call his grandparents grandma and grandpa and they think of me as a granddaughter. He's also a beautiful, intelligent man. So intelligent that at the age of around 24yrs old he was a millionaire. He made just over a million dollars in a little less than a year. He owned 7 subway stores. He had a beautiful house in a totally upscale neighborhood. He lost everything. Drank it away. Held HUGE parties 4-7 days a week and always had 1-3 people there at the house at all times that he was sporting the whiskey and beer for. He'd go into a bar and buy 10-20 peoples drinks all night long several nights a week. He just seriously drank it all away. No other drugs were involved. I'm positive of this. I finally had to walk away because I was so upset over what he was doing to himself I couldn't stand it anymore and begging and pleading with him. I haven't seen him in about 4 or 5 yrs. now. I'm sending you and your mom hugs, and praying for your brother. I know it CAN be done.

[Cali]

I have alcoholism in my family, on both sides, and no one has ever been able to climb out of the depths of it. Your title caught my eye because my favorite aunt is also drinking herself to death. She was once a respiratory therapist and lost her liscense after going to work drunk. I am saddened at the life she is living now. I'm not sure any of the alcoholics in my family have truly wanted to become sober, though. And I know there is depression involved as well. What I've learned is there's not much you can do to help them. They have to want to seek recovery or sobriety themselves.

[BC-CrystalAZ]

My brother is in the same situation. He has always been a drinker, and was addicted to prescription meds a few years ago, but broke free of that addiction. The alcohol has been harder for him. He's SO smart and funny and talented and he just chooses to use booze as a crutch. There's nothing I can do but be there for him, and that's all you can do for your brother too.

As far as whether I've ever seen someone come out of it... sure. I've had employees who were serious about AA and were sober for years. I had a friend who was on drugs and alcohol who gave up both and was very serious about sobriety. I had another friend who got off meth after losing her kids, and she's doing very well now. The thread that connects them is that they all were VERY ready to break free and were willing to work hard to do it. My brother isn't there yet, and while I don't want to see bad things happen to him, I can't help but hope he hits bottom so he'll try to stop.

Crystal

[BC-MAV]

My best friend's boyfriend in college was a big drinker. He broke it off with her without saying a word. I think part of the logic was that he wanted to break all ties with anyone that he ever had a drink with. I think it was kind of lame, but I have heard of others doing that sort of thing. You know disassociating yourself with anyone you ever had fun with. I hope your brother has already hit rock bottom and there is no where but up.

[M&M]

Yes, there is always hope! I have 2 family members that are now both about 20 years clean. At that point both of them were pretty much at a rock bottom, mostly because family stepped out of the equation and no longer were willing to enable them. Where does your Mom stand? By allowing him to live with her I'm assuming she may be feeding him? Doing his laundry? Taking care of his basic needs? It wasn't until my 2 family members were told they would no longer be able to participate in our family did they get sober. I also have a family member that's a functioning alcoholic. This has actually been harder for us to deal with. It's so heartbreaking to watch.

[Caro2]

So sorry but to be honest, there is not much we can do until they want to do something about it. I would leave a card for AA meetings in the bathrooms or dinning table see he can have a constant message to get help. My brother did stop drugs but now he is into "re-birthing" the group of people are like a sect (sp?) and it is very hard to have any type of conversation with him, he cannot speak normally he is always living in the past with mombo jumbo lingo sect talk and always puttings his crap like we would feel the same. I feel he went form one drug to another one, sorry I am no help, you can see I am still upset with him. I wonder if any can become normal after that and not fall into something else that numbs them. My mother would have never accepted him in their home in a second estate (drugs or alcohol), and I think that help him to feel that it was just not acceptable. Your mother needs to contact al-anon and I think they recommend tough love.

I know how hard it is to seem them waste their lives like this and we cannot do nothing

(((((HUGS)))))
Caro

[jillgalindo]

So sorry but to be honest, there is not much we can do until they want to do something about it. I would leave a card for AA meetings in the bathrooms or dinning table see he can have a constant message to get help.

I agree! My dad is an alcoholic and lives with me.