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  1. #1
    jan21
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    How long should the punishment be?

    My dd Elizabeth got in MAJOR trouble with us.

    She was mad at her sister, and used Laura's email account (apparently Laura's password automatically popped up) to send an email to Laura's friend, saying "I hate you." Laura's friend thought she was joking at first, then sent another email saying "why do you hate me, what did I do?" Laura was of course very upset and confused, and we figured out it was Elizabeth because the time the email was sent Laura wasn't home, and DH remembers Elizabeth asking to use the computer and he wasn't watching her (DH is a computer geek and figured out the email came from our house, not anywhere else).

    We confronted E and she eventually admitted it. She (and her sister) got huge lectures about how they can NEVER do something like this, explained cyberbullying. E seemed geniunely remorseful, apologized to Laura and then we had her call Laura's friend and admit it/apologize.

    The next step was to not allow her to use the computer, but we are unsure of how long the punishment should be for. My first thought was until her next birthday (11 mos), but obviously that is WAY too harsh. Any thoughts on how long? If she needs it for school or to look something up that she wants to LEARN about we will do it with her; I will also help her check her email account because she gets emails from the director of the show's she's in and we may need the info.

    The girls JUST got their own email accounts last summer because many of their friends have them. Laura in particular keeps in touch with friends - there's a girl she met on vacation she constantly emails back and forth with. Elizabeth doesn't use it as much with her friends, but often emails with her uncle. Except for that she uses the computer to play - Webkins, Disney, American Girl, etc.

    We also had Laura change her password and told her to never check "remember this password."

    JAnice
    L&E 11/00


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  3. #2
    Kylie
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    I would not let her use the computer for 2 wks and also make her do some extra chores around the house. That was a really awful thing to do, she must have been feeling very spiteful.


  4. #3
    AmymOH
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kylie View Post
    I would not let her use the computer for 2 wks and also make her do some extra chores around the house. That was a really awful thing to do, she must have been feeling very spiteful.
    I agree with this. 2 weeks, and I'd make her do some of Laura's chores besides her own for those 2 weeks. Anything beyond 2 weeks and the punishment is going to lose it's quality. After so long, it starts not meaning anything to them.
    "If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

    Amy, mom to:
    DD N-7/24/89
    DS C-3/30/91
    DS M-9/01/93
    DD C-9/29/95

    I'm at 50/50...2 of the 4 is of legal age and I still have my sanity...well somedays anyway!


  5. #4
    bearz
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    I'd be looking at a month. At least. This is a serious thing she did. If, in the mean time, she needs anything in the way of research, I would do the searching myself and print off whatever she needs but she wouldn't be touching those keys for a month.

    DS got in trouble with me awhile back and I cleared every.single.thing out of his room for 2 weeks. He really learned his lesson.
    The Farmer's Wife
    As I chose him, I chose this land, this life
    And always knew that as his wife
    Midst labors never done. By love we three were wed. We and the land are one.


  6. #5
    Sweetpea
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearz View Post
    I'd be looking at a month. At least. This is a serious thing she did. If, in the mean time, she needs anything in the way of research, I would do the searching myself and print off whatever she needs but she wouldn't be touching those keys for a month.

    DS got in trouble with me awhile back and I cleared every.single.thing out of his room for 2 weeks. He really learned his lesson.
    This exactly! And i've totally cleaned out DD's room too!
    A-13 years
    R-20 months
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  7. #6
    Rudi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kylie View Post
    I would not let her use the computer for 2 wks and also make her do some extra chores around the house. That was a really awful thing to do, she must have been feeling very spiteful.
    I agree with this. One week for doing it and another week for lying to you (not coming clean about it after you first asked her).
    proud mom to a wonderful 10 year old DD!


  8. #7
    4girls4me
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    I would do two weeks off the computer....

    However, I would make a big deal about keeping a very close eye on her when she is on the computer. Make sure she knows that she must EARN your trust back. I find this is a good age to let them know that they control how much freedom we give them by showing us they are responsible enough to behave within our rules and values. It is a fine line because you also want them to know that you know they will make mistakes, but they are capable of a being very responsible.
    Kathy
    married 15y
    DD7/97, DD7/97, DD4/00, DD4/05
    5/95


    While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about!


  9. #8
    Blessed Mama
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmymOH View Post
    I agree with this. 2 weeks, and I'd make her do some of Laura's chores besides her own for those 2 weeks. Anything beyond 2 weeks and the punishment is going to lose it's quality. After so long, it starts not meaning anything to them.
    This! I was just going to say 2 weeks no computer and at least one week of doing her sister's chores. That way she learns it was improper use of the computer and that she must make restitution to the person she hurt.
    I know the plans I have for you," sayth the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


  10. #9
    TwoQTs
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearz View Post
    I'd be looking at a month. At least. This is a serious thing she did. If, in the mean time, she needs anything in the way of research, I would do the searching myself and print off whatever she needs but she wouldn't be touching those keys for a month.
    Agreed. A month. It needs to be a lengthy period of time (not 11-mos, but I think longer than 2-weeks) to get the point across.
    Kristin single mom to
    Emily & Alison Nov. 29/00
    June/03
    Daniel James, July 29th, 2004 stillborn at 32.5 weeks (cord accident)

    Walk softly and carry a big stick.


  11. #10
    LBWP
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    I like either the (2) wks. w/also (1) week of doing her sisters chores or
    (1) month of just only complete computer loss.

    L (46)
    K&E=7.6
    "If you can keep a level head in all this confusion, you just don't understand the situation!"


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