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  1. #1
    kary
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    how do you deal with a child that hits?

    earlier, i told maddy to get her jammies on and her clothes for school out for tomorrow. without getting into all the details, she exploded and it became a mess. i went for her room to grab clothes for her-she hates me picking out her clothes- and she grabbed me by the ankles and almost took me down. i did raise my voice at her and she was still holding on to me, so i spanked her-not hard mind you. next thing i know, she smacks me back. she blocked the door because she did not want me to leave her room and so i came from behind her to remove her and she kicked me in the shin. she did get grounded, things immediately removed from her possesion, and no wii for 2 days (friday the kids have no school so she is not allowed to play). so i kissed her goodnight and went to call my stepmom to tell her about this episode and maddy had a fit and put her hand under my shirt to my neck and scratched me all down my back-i have red marks from it.

    i have no idea how to handle this situation. this is the worst outburst we have ever had.

    ideas? suggestions? books to read?

    The happiest people don't necessarily have the best
    of everything;
    they just make the best of everything they have!


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  3. #2
    Ellie Mae
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    How old is this child?


    16 15 13 6 5/05






  4. #3
    LeslieWI
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    I have been trying to figure out the same thing. Sarah is so angry. She gets mad, and she flies into a rage hitting and kicking only directed at her sister. I am interested to see what others have to say, I hope you don't mind.
    "NEVER make someone a priority when they treat you as an option ""

    Leslie
    Kelsey 15 yrs.
    Sarah 10 yrs.


  5. #4
    kary
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellie Mae
    How old is this child?
    maddy is 7

    The happiest people don't necessarily have the best
    of everything;
    they just make the best of everything they have!


    www.AllWrappedUpandMore.com

    http://tinyurl.com/2btdbfc


  6. #5
    Ellie Mae
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    I would make the punishment way more severe. I'd pick out her clothes for a week, and I'd pick stuff she didn't like on purpose. I would tell her if she continued to behave ugly, I'd keep on until she learned how to behave correctly.

    I would probably have given her a really good spanking after everyone was calm. That's just me...I don't spank often, actually VERY rarely, but in that instance, I would.

    I would also exile her to her room for a few days, and she wouldn't get any snacks or treats.

    make her think twice next time she decides to act like that.


    16 15 13 6 5/05






  7. #6
    Joyous
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    I figured the post was about your duo hitting each other....which I'm battling dd mainly doing it to ds...when he frustrates her.

    Mine do not do that...I'm sure there has been once or twice. I'm not sure what I would do! Take away her most prized possession for a long time until she can start showing you more respect? Maybe lose a couple weeks of playdates? I'm sorry you are dealing with this.


  8. #7
    heathermk38
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    Oh wow, I think you did all the right things..taking away stuff. I'd probably say you're adding on a day for the Wii being gone, for when she scratched you. Cause I'm thinking that was after everything else right? Have you tried soap in the mouth?? My parents did that with us all the time when we were sassy and such, they take a bar of soap and rake it across our teeth! It was horrible!! But it got the point across. My sister in law does that to my 6 year old nephew. Granted it's a challange when she's alone, but she overpowers that kid when she has to. By the way, I'm into all natural stuff, so I'd buy a "green" bar of soap. I wouldn't point Dial or another regular kind in my child's mouth. Good luck!


  9. #8
    lsl
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    Hi I know how you feel - I have a 6 year old boy who kicks and lashes out. Looks like you did all the right things grounding and loss of prized stuff. But her scratching you is really bad should make the punishment severe enough for her to remember. What happens if she does it to another kid in future ?
    After reading your post and the sequence did M lash out at you when she realise you were talking to your stepmom her misdeeds on the phone ? Sometimes kids don't like that and they get extra sensitive or riled up sometimes even when I recount something they did to another adult.
    Also suggest you talk it over to her when calmer something like - when you get really mad with mommy or someone else what is the appropriate response and what are the consequences if she does that again.
    Good luck.
    lsl 47 yrs
    9IUI 2 IVF endo




  10. #9
    Kaybee
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    I agree with LSL about talking to her when calm how she can handle being upset, i.e. you can go hit a pillow in your room, hit a stuffed animal, etc. Reassure her that is okay to be mad, upset, etc. but how she handles those feelings has to change.

    The other part is that you should talk to your DH and he should go in there VERY UPSET at her for hitting, scratching and talking to HIS WIFE (not your mommy) that way and let her know that will not be tolerated. He should be HIGHLY OFFENDED at her especially for the scratching part. But I do have to say if you were going to talk about it to someone, it should have been after she went to bed in my opinion.

    Also I don't know what I would have done but the punishments just don't seem severe enough to me for her behavior from beginning to end. I think she should have to do some of the chores you normally do for her and the family. She needs to repay every violation with an act of kindness towards you and it must be done with a good spirit about her or that chores keeps getting redone till she does/can (have to redo each day). I think this should come from your DH also. Also she should not be allowed out for any "extra" stuff because if she can not exhibit/model good behavior at home to her parents she is not to be trusted to exhibit ood behavior anywhere else. So until this straightens up at home there will be no going to friends, parties etc and you have to stick to you guns on this or she won't take ou seriously. You can't hit her back but she SERIOUSLY needs to feel some pain on this. I think all these suggests should come from your DH on top of the other things that were imposed by you earlier. She needs to understand that this isn't just mommy being a witch to her but that her FAMILY will not tolerate these actions an give her the tools to vent constructively.
    Last edited by Kaybee; 01-22-2009 at 10:18 PM.
    Kaybee
    My sweet little boy

    "My mother always said that she didn't mind getting old herself, but she couldn't stand to see her children get old!" ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley~

    There is no discipline in all the world like the discipline of love. It has a magic all its own. - Pres Gordon B. Hinckley


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