Should I ask her for money?

[Jann]

Hi,
OK. Another question about DS's friend who I am very generous to and have over a lot.

His mom is going away for 10 days (sometime fun for her--a spirituality conference which she goes on twice a year) and a family member is watching him for a lot of that time. I have him for 2 playdates and then for a weekend.

Over that weekend (which will be a nice, fall weekend which I love), I know that we'll want to go to a nice fall festival (which would cost about $25 for him to go to including entrance, snacks and lunch) and then I may take them to an indoor pool one day.

Would you ask the mom for $30 to cover expenses for the weekend? Obvioously I won't ask for money for the lunch and food I give him at home but should I ask her for entertainment money so that we can go to the pool or the festival and eat there? In the past, when this boy is with us we've spent lots of time at parks, my house or swim club which requires minimal extra cost.

The nice, autumn weekends are numbered and I don't want to just stay home all weekend. So I guess I should just pay for him or should I ask for the money? It's the principal that gets me. If it were any other friend of DS, the mom would know to send him with money or I would just pay for the child (since they recipricate). I'm a SAHM and have little need for her to take my DS places (and she does mostly free entertainment anyway) so she will not be reciprcating.

Jann

[lrmc]

I would just let her know that you plan on attending the event and let her know about what it might cost for her son to attend the event and go from there.

[Christina~FL]

Yes!

[MareRI]

I would let her know my plans, and let her know if she wanted to send him along with some spending money. Personally, I would pay the entrance fee and assume the stance of "it would be nice for her to send some $ along" but since its my plan I would suck up the cost of it. It would be different if she knew the plan in advance and then asked if he could stay that weekend and go to that event, but with the plan made after the arrangement to stay, I wouldnt expect $$ for that...

[Kylie]

Tough call. I think I would feel funny asking someone to send their kid with spending money to my home . I would let her know that you have plans to do some fun activities and you'd appreciate if she sent some money to cover his costs. That's if you can't afford to cover him yourself (which you shouldn't have to, but you did agree to watch him and I'm sure she wasn't thinking you'd be galavanting all over the place with her kid spending money on him).

[DebbieM]

I would let her know my plans, and let her know if she wanted to send him along with some spending money. Personally, I would pay the entrance fee and assume the stance of "it would be nice for her to send some $ along" but since its my plan I would suck up the cost of it. It would be different if she knew the plan in advance and then asked if he could stay that weekend and go to that event, but with the plan made after the arrangement to stay, I wouldnt expect $$ for that...

I agree.

[KellyL]

It would be different if she knew the plan in advance and then asked if he could stay that weekend and go to that event, but with the plan made after the arrangement to stay, I wouldnt expect $$ for that...

I also agree. Have fun!

KellyL

[MissyMarie]

I'd tell her your plan to go to the festival and see if she offers. I personally would not ask if money were not tight. If money was tight for me then I might mention the cost.

[Mrs M]

Personally I would just tell her upfront that you plan on going to the festival and that it will cost XYZ. Hopefully she will get it and send him along with some $$.

[daytonmom]

I would pay the way and not worry about it. There will probably be another time where she would pay the way for your child. (Unless money is super tight for your than I would ask for the money).