Siblings five years apart (adoption mentioned)

[China2007]

We are adopting our second child. The original plan was for first dd to be five when second dd came home. Second dd would be one when she came home so they would be four years apart.

As with all things to do with children the original plan has changed and second dd will not be home until first dd is six. So they will be five years apart.

I don't have any experience with siblings this far apart. Most of the people I know are two or three years apart from their siblings.

Can you give me the good and bad of them being so far apart. Please concentrate on the good, I would love to hear stories of siblings who are five years apart and are close friends.

Thanks,

[julieinkc]

My kids are almost 5 years apart and I LOVE it. I never planned it; never thought it would take 3.5 years and IVF to get pg again. But, it really worked out for the best and I like it. It's so nice having them far enough apart that I feel I have time to do really seperate things with each of them. I can't think of any downside other than the myth I had in my head of having close together sibs.

[Kathy326]

Hi,

My dh and his sister are 5 years apart and while they are not close friends, this can be attributed to them being different genders, they have never had a cross word or jealousy between them. MIL had a lovely time raising them--there was no sibling rivalry, and she got to spend lots of time w/ her daughter as her son was in school and had his own interests. Also, my aunt has 2 boys 5 years apart, and the older one really looks after the younger one, very protective--it's sweet. I think your girls will be terrific together!

Good luck,
Kathy
Mommy to Aidan William
7/5/05

[marg]

My best friend's children (one bio, one an adoptee) are 5 1/2 years apart. My other close friend just had her second, 6 years and two weeks after the first was born.

There are sooo many pluses of this situation. The oldest child is old enough to help with the younger. No concerns about the older accidently hurting baby. After being an only for years both children really loved having a sib, and we're old enough to understand that mom and dad still loved them too. The best thing though is that the older is in school so you get lots and lots of time to spend with the little one.

I think you'll be very happy with the age gap.

[morynn]

Kenzie and Tanner are 3 months shy of being 5 years apart. It is actually quite nice with the age difference. Kenzie is very helpful with her brother. She can go a bit overboard at times, but we are muttling through those issues. She is great at keeping him busy and playing with him. The jealousy issue I was afraid of hasn't been as bad as I would have thought.

I know from experience (my little sis is 5 yrs younger than my twin and I), as they get older, it will get a little harder. Tanner loves his sister so much and wants to be doing everything that she does. Right now it is okay, but in a few years, she isn't going to want him tagging along all of the time. We didn't like it once we got to Jr. High School. Now, I am probably most close to my little sister (weird that it isn't my twin). We do alot together.

I think there are pros and cons to any age gap, but we have enjoyed ours. The only thing that was a bit to get used to, was going from fully self-sufficient to caring for a little one with all of the gear and diapers. It is routine now and Kenzie even helps me there!

Congratulations!

[Greekmom]

My first two are almost five years apart and I loved it, still do (though like Julie was not the plan). Having two small toddlers has been MUCH harder for me than the first two five years apart. It has it's challenges like every stage, age, etc. but it is nice to spend the one on one time while the other is in school.

Good luck!

[jenrm]

my 2 are more then 5 years apart.Now that daniel is walking and talking and wanting to play(16 months) she has shown a intrest in him.Its nice because she is in school and i can concentrate my time on him

[joanna]

Well, I am close with ALL my siblings. I'm the oldest, with a sister close behind. My brother was born when I was 9, another sister when I was 14, and my baby brother when I was 17!!!!!! (And all with the SAME parents even )

I'm sure the youngest two would tell you they had WAY to many "parents" I'm sure at times they felt smothered, and I know I felt taken advantage of many a time as a teen when I had to watch the brats, instead of doing what I wanted to do but in the end, we are all very close and I wouldn't hesitate to span my family that way.

[ScrappyCat]

my sister's are 5 years apart and mine are actually 7 years apart...we wanted them 2 years apart...go figure!! Dumb IF!!

Anyhow...I wouldn't change a thing now..ds loves his little sister to DEATH! He's old enough to do his own things while sister is being *fussy* etc...

You'll love the age difference!

[Mrs M]

Mine are exactly 5 yrs and 1 month apart and it has its pros and cons. I feel like I had special baby time with them both. The eldest was much easier when the baby came along. I get to enjoy so many different things with them both. The downsides are that now that they are 11 and 6 they fight like cats and dogs!! (but I think that is normal sibling rivalry with any age gap) - they do not both like the same things.

My sister and I are exactly 8 yrs apart! (she was my 8th birthday present!!) and when we were younger - it was like having a real life doll for me and now that we are older we are VERY close and it is wonderful.