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  1. #1
    Babyhopes78
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    Some people can say really hurtful things...

    Wow. Today has been a tough one.. But I'm fighting through it. My coworker (who has only been ttc for 4 months) just found out yesterday she's expecting. Of course it's the talk around the office. Everyone is excited and so am I, however people seem to look at me and ask questions or make comments- that can be a little insensitive. Someone told me today they were going to ask the pregnant woman to 'come rub on my stomach, so I can get movin' on the baby'. I was so embarrassed and hurt all at the same time. No one at my job knows about infertility issues ( I keep that very private)- however I'm the only one without kids in my department. It's almost like the spotlight is on me and it makes me so uncomfortable. I left my dr's office today in such a great mood, with all the instructions on my IVF retrieval (scheduled for Sunday). Came to work, hearing all the 'baby talks' and then the comment made.. I almost cried. I have tried my best to stay strong and prayed up during this journey but it is hard. As you all know. Anywho, I just wanted to vent to those I feel the most comfortable coming to, since you are or have been in my shoes. I wish everyone the best of luck. Sending prayers up for you all!


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  3. #2
    MarineBaby
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    I know exactly how you feel!!! I was very private about our IF at my job up until about a month ago...I am still private, but finally got to the point where the comments were getting out of control and were hurtful...Everyday I got the "what are you waiting on" and "your not getting any younger"...I think the comment that put me over the edge is "what is your problem...you are almost to the age to where you can't have kids

    Finally one day I had enough and one of the ladies who constantly makes comments said something and I looked her straight in the eyes and said "has it ever occured to you that some people can't just 'have a baby' and that these comments are totally inappropriate?" She just stared at me and then had the nerve to ask "what do you mean?" I said, "I mean that my husband and I are unable to conceive a child naturally...NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Ever since that day no one has mentioned anything else about it. My boss and a few other people I am friends with know what we are going through...

    It is amazing to me how bold some people can be...I try to just let it go and walk away, but it is very difficult at times!


  4. #3
    Babyhopes78
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    Thank you for sharing your stories! Wow.. Some people don't have a clue. I forgot to mention, another coworker today called my extension and said, "I actually had a dream about fish, but I guess it wasn't you."
    Unbelievable!
    Last week I heard someone say, "people need to leave those infertility clinics alone". What the heck?? As if we go through this process because WANT to. Taking shots in your stomach and being bloated is no fun... But I'll do whatever is necessary. I guess people assume trying to conceive is an easy walk in the park for all women. I never thought in a million years my husband and I would be in the world of infertility-but we are. I don't broadcast my issue only because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us. I know what doesn't kill me will make me stronger. I know this journey and all the tears will be worth it when one day my husband and I become parents. Some days are tougher than others.. Today was one of those days.


  5. #4
    beautiful_day
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    I'm sorry you are all having to put up with such insensitive comments. I had an email today from a friend celebrating her son's 1st birthday saying "so when are you two going to start having babies then?" All my friends got pregnant at the drop of a hat and I hate people sitting around waiting for me to annonce I am pregnant. For them it is just about deciding to have a baby then bang you have one. We decided a while ago and we are still waiting....why don't people understand that it is not always easy.

    Courage everyone. It is only about us, not them.


  6. #5
    Ava4326
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    People can just be downright rude sometimes!!! I am sick of it as well... I (also) chose not to broadcast our IF issues where I work because I don't want to put up with all the...shhh... hush hush and gossip. When they ask when we're going to pop one out, I just mutter "one day" and quickly change the subject. Fine with me... for now.

    Most of the heat we get is from Dh's family... his grandmother will NEVER fail to make a comment when we see her, and pat my stomach saying "maybe one day!!" ugh. My MIL made a comment the other day... about how she is disallowing her co-workers to display pictures of their grandkids on their desks at work, until she gets a grandkid. aggggh!! What I think is downright rude, is that Dh has spoken with his mother and grandmother numerous times about the snide comments, and how much they upset me, and they STILL make them. My MIL now refers to our future children as "those people we aren't supposed to talk about." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? After they make the comments, they will apoligize to me, saying... "oh, I'm so sorry dear, I've gotten ahead of myself." Give me a break. We try to avoid family gatherings as much as possible, especially now since there's a new 2 new pg. family members.

    Hang in there everyone, I am so glad there is such wonderful support on this site!!


  7. #6
    jackal
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    I feel lucky that most of my family and friends are understanding. I do not plan to tell my boss anything unless I have to!! I have muscular dystrophy and when I take sick lave I get the feeling she thinks that is what all my doctor appointments are for and I see no reason to set her straight. A few people make comments about me being married nine years and not having children but I just figure some people are ignorant and those are not worth worrying about.


  8. #7
    *melusine*
    FET 02/15/2013
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    I understand it makes you uneasy but personally it doesn't touch me one bit, I even think it is actually touching that someone shows some care or a baby wish for me, I guess I am the exception or something... These people don't ask you to p### you off or to be mean in anyway.
    Now if it does touch you, I think you are the one that need to tell that theses kind of comments are not welcome and how bad it makes you feel taking in consideration the situation. Don't expect other people to read you mind.

    I stopped BCP 10 years ago and recently got both of my tubes removed to give us more chances for IVF so infertility issues is not something new for us.


  9. #8
    *melusine*
    FET 02/15/2013
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    I understand it makes you uneasy but personally it doesn't touch me one bit, I even think it is actually touching that someone shows some care or a baby wish for me, I guess I am the exception or something... These people don't ask you to p### you off or to be mean in anyway.
    Now if it does touch you, I think you are the one that need to tell that theses kind of comments are not welcome and how bad it makes you feel taking in consideration the situation. Don't expect other people to read you mind.

    I stopped BCP 10 years ago and recently got both of my tubes removed to give us more chances for IVF so infertility issues is not something new for us.


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